sunshine in a bag
by shugotenshii
Summary: ch.13 .. as the sun rose over the outline of the city, i knew we were going to be okay .. akuroku. CH1-4 EDITED
1. o1 : roommate

**(CHAPTER 1 EDITED 2/4/10 I decided to edit this fic, y'know typo's, sentences that didn't make sense... just refresh it. Because I reread it, and my typos and grammar and badly elaborated plot points are bugging me.)  
**

**shugo:** My inspiration for this fic is probably by far the weirdest I've ever heard of. So I woke up in the middle of the night because I was thirsty. I grabbed a coca cola and then this idea hit me in the side of the head like a brick. And I stayed up till like... three in the morning writing it. So... yeah... I always have more to say but then forget what I'm gonna say.

Oh, yeah, I remembered. The title for this fic has absolutely nothing to do with the Gorillaz song Sunshine In A Bag. I think...

So anyway.. enjoy. :)

- - -- - - -- - -  
sunshine _in_ a **bag**

CHAPTER o1 : roommate  
-**axel**-

_Burbulation:  
The obsessive act of opening and closing a refrigerator door in  
an attempt to catch it before the automatic light comes on.  
-- "Sniglets", Rich Hall & Friends_

It was 2:02. 2:02 in the fuckin' _morning._ Why the hell did I wake up then?

I lay there, staring up at the dark ceiling and listening to my alarm clock tick away on my beside table until my question was quite conveniently answered by my stomach. So I rolled off my bed-literally rolled off it-and hit the floor. My legs felt like jello. Speaking of which... my stomach gave another loud rumble. I swear, it was probably enough to wake my roommate.

I wobbled to my feet and stumbled my way into the kitchen-tripping over a discarded couch cushion on my way there-and opened the fridge. Then closed it and opened it again, watching the light flicker on and off for a moment.

Hmm. No jello. Oh, hey, coke. I grabbed the soda, not quite caring that it was probably unhealthy to drink it in the middle of the night and I found myself wondering if I would still be able to make it to my bed. I was still half-asleep. If not, I could just crash on the couch.

So I did that. I had just plopped down on the couch and made myself comfortable when I heard my roommate's door creak open. I looked up and found him staring at me from the darkness. No, scratch that. _Glaring._ With those big eyes shining like blue venom. He was pretty intimidating for a kid, I can tell you that much. And this is coming from me. _Me_. Fucking_ Axel_.

Okay, well, I'll be honest with you. You can never know what mess you'll get into when you put an ad in the paper for a roommate. You can never know who will answer your call of distress and help you pay the rent that just can't seem to get paid. And I had no idea what was in store for me when this short, blonde little teenager sauntered up to my door, bags by his feet, and asked how soon he could move in. And... I'll admit it (even though I don't want to), but I was suckered in the moment I saw him. He looked a little lost, maybe slightly confused, and the caring side of me that I rarely showed flared up.

It's only been a week and I've patted down the basics. He's seventeen, I think, only a year younger than me. His name is Roxas and he has terrible anger issues. And he's my friend's brother. Went AWOL on the family, or something after a blow up, and guess who's feeling the after-effects? Yup. Me. And yes, for some odd reason, I'm actually putting up with the mental abuse.

At the moment I half-expected him to say "Hey," or "Hi," or "What the hell are you doing up at like two in the goddamn morning?"

Instead, he simply said, ''What are you doing up?'' I off by nine words. Well, at least he wasn't in a bad mood. Which was like, always. So never mind then.

"I could ask you the same," I scoffed, feeling a smirk slowly stretching across my face.

He shot me a look, one that sent shivers of anxiety rushing up my spine, and stalked past me into the kitchen. "I was thirsty," he snapped. I flinched in response and averted my gaze from him.

The fridge door opened, flooding the floor with light, and I could just make out Roxas letting out a frustrated sigh over its hum. "Did you take the last soda?"

"Uh... I... might've..." I replied somewhat sheepishly. I seriously didn't know it was the last soda. I mean. So? I was fucking thirsty too. And it's my damn soda. Still, I secretly hoped that Roxas wouldn't verbally chop my head off. And he didn't. Much to my surprise, he sat down on the couch next to me with a pensive look on his face and lapsed into silence. I liked watching him when he wasn't fuming and scowling all over the place, and actually looked pretty normal instead. It was only time I could be around him and feel semi-relaxed.

I glanced at my half-finished soda and then handed it to him.

Once again, I half-expected him to say something like "Huh?" or "Yeah, I see the can," or "Ew, I'm not drinking your backwash."

He didn't say anything and surprised me again by taking the can from me and downing a swig. "I'm going back to bed," he finally said, suddenly standing up. He sounded a little less ticked off than before but his tone still made me flinch. Gaia, what was _up_ with this kid? I didn't need this sort of behavior. I was _my_ apartment to begin with anyway, dammit! I let him in out of the pure goodness of my _heart_ (sorta). But if I lashed out, Roxas would probably break my neck. I wanted to make peace with him, not make both of us murderers.

Despite my better judgment to just leave him alone, I found myself calling out to him. I hated being near someone who I was in constant conflict with... I don't respond so well to awkwardness, y'know? "Hey, Roxas, wait!"

I saw him freeze halfway from his room, silhouette illuminated from the streetlamps outside of the window. "_What?_"

Now that was the tone that made me want to throw the TV at him. I sucked in a breath and refrained myself from doing so. Even though I wanted to. Badly. Must. Resist. Temptation. If I we were going to live together, then I at least wanted to be on good terms with the kid before kicking him straight out the door.

"Tomorrow," I started, before pausing in thought. Technically, it already _was_ tomorrow. "Uh, later today, I'm going out with a few friends. Do you.. wanna come?"

Even though I couldn't see them, I could feel his eyes boring into me with deadly bluntness. "Why?"

I frowned and cocked my head to the side. Ever since the first day, there had been an air of seclusion around him, the kind that _oozes_ _I-just-want-to-be-alone_. I guess whatever happened between him and his family really got him. And I... sort of hated seeing people stuck inside their own shell. It made me want to help them. Without really meaning to, I made a secret oath to myself that I _would_ get Roxas to loosen up a bit and maybe even smile. Plus, I didn't want to live with a bitchy roommate."To, y'know, hang out."

"Why are you asking me?"

Um, 'cause you need to get a life.

"I dunno. I figured you probably have nothing better to do so..." I quickly trailed off, thinking that that was probably the wrong thing to say. But it was true. He spent most of his time locked up in his room.

Roxas only shrugged and crossed the rest of the way to his bedroom door. "Whatever."

I felt myself grinning triumphantly. "I take that as a yes?"

"Take it however you like," Roxas grumbled back with a shake of his head. He kicked the door shut and I ran up to it, shouting through the wood, "Okay, at twelve o'clock sharp, we're leaving. Got it memorized?"

The door suddenly swung open (to my unfortunate surprise) and I stumbled forward, coming face to face with a very pissed-off looking Roxas. Literally. Our noses were like, practically touching. Sapphire blue eyes narrowed angrily as Roxas suddenly realized how close our faces were, and backed up a bit. I, personally, didn't mind the closeness, but that was just me.

"Yeah, ok, can I go to _sleep_ now?" he snapped, pressing his hand against my chest and shoving me back a few more paces.

I smirked unabashedly and brushed myself off. Was he _blushing?_ "Be my guest."

He thanked me by slamming the door in my face.

x.x.x

**shugo: **I have _no_ clue where I'm going with this. I'm getting a pretty vague idea though. Seriously, sometimes I write something and don't even know what I'm going to do with it. But it sure is fun to write :D

So... about the place they're gonna meet up at. I was thinking Starbucks so then Sora can get hyper off of frappuccino's and scare people and stuff and be random. That would be fun to write. Actually, I'm already starting on it. :D

Review and I shall reward you with m00fins. :)


	2. o2 : starbucks

**(CHAPTER 2 EDITED 2/4/10 I'm trying to make the relationships flow a little more. Last time, I just had Sora jumping around which was kind of weird, and didn't really fit in with... well... anything. So I tried to make the interaction between him, Roxas and Cloud a little more human. Since they're supposed to be in a fight and all : D)**

**shugo:** Thanks to Darkness-Heart, animefan4life12, and blockofthewritingkind for being the first to review. Your reviews make me feel all fluffeh inside. :3

-- -- - - - -- -- -- -  
sunshine_ in_ a **bag**

CHAPTER o2 : starbucks  
**-axel-**

_"Start the day with a smile and get it over with." - W. C. Fields_

Next morning-no wait, it's still the same day. Okay, let me start over.

Morning turned out to be very awkward today. Before you go on, please remember my wonderful heart-to-heart with the blonde angel.

So anyway, I woke up somewhere around eleven in the morning, with the sun shining square on my face, mustered up the energy to drag myself out of bed and into the shower, got out at around eleven ten, and then proceeded to wake Roxas up. Who was still sleeping, the little shit.

''Yo! Roxas! Wake up!'' I shouted, banging on the door. Yes. This was my way of waking him up.

No response. Figuring the door was locked, I rammed into it with my shoulder, only to find out that the door _wasn't _locked. So I ended up falling through the door and bruising my abused shoulder even more on the hard floor. Um, _owww._

Grimacing, I sat up and rubbed gingerly at my poor bones, looking up to see that Roxas really was still sleeping, head stuffed under the pillow with only a few tufts of yellow poking out. Maybe he tried to suffocate himself after realizing that he had agreed to go out to with me'n my friends?

"Rooooxaas, wake _uuuuup_," I sang, ambling over to the bed. I plopped down (gracefully, might I add, because the great Axel isn't _clumsy_) on the edge of the bed and reached out to shake his shoulder.

"Nngh.. Axel.. go away," came the muffled reply.

I jut out my lower lip in a pout, putting a hand over my heart in mock surprise. "Stop the presses. You remembered name!"

The pillow shifted and I grinned brightly at the blue eyes glaring at me from the darkness. "Um... _duh_, dumbass."

I pouted again, sagging my shoulders a bit. "Aw, that hurts, Roxas. That really... hurts." I held out my hand to him, pumping it as though I was holding my heart. He took my wrist and slammed my hand back at my chest, and before he could pull away and sneak back under the covers, I grabbed his wrist and forcefully yanked him out of bed. He squawked in protest, hissing out expletives that had _noooo_ effect on me.

"You. Shower. Go. Now."

Roxas glared daggers and knives and all sorts of other sharp and lethal weapons at me. "And why do you think you can tell me what to do?"

I put finger to my chin and looked up in faux-contemplation. "Um, let's see.. Maybe that's because we're supposed to leave in like half an hour, and this is still technically _my_ apartment? Yeah. I win."

Still keeping a firm hold on his wrist, I dragged him to the bathroom, resulting in much more protest and profanity leaking from his mouth. I never knew someone could swear so much. Besides for Cid. You should hear the way that guy hounds me for my rent! Anyway, after I managed to push him into the bathroom without losing any limbs in the process, and then jumped on the couch and turned on the TV.

Roxas came out barely three minutes later, frowning.

''What? Done already?'' I asked, shooting him a surprised glance. And then did a double-take.

Roxas's hair was sopping wet, framing his eyes and face in sharp layers-Well, actually, his whole body was sopping wet and steam rose from his skin in the air-conditioned room. Now... I have quite a bit of self-control, but even I can't help a look every now and then. And boy oh _boy_ was Roxas a looker. Against the annoying, protesting voice in my head, I let my eyes wander briefly, from the water beaded across his clavicle, to the drops sliding down what looked like decently toned abs, and finally the fluffy towel hung loosely from his hipbones.

If I was into him, he'd be _boned_ by now.

"Axel, the shower head has gone haywire," Roxas huffed, bringing me out of my reverie and crossing his arms over his chest.

"...Huh?"

"I _said,_ 'Axel, the shower head has gone haywire,'" he repeated, speaking slowly as though I was mentally challenged. Why, I should spit on you.

"Oh," I said, blinking again. For some odd reason, my brain was catching up with those words far too slowly.

"Oh, it always does that," I stated simply, relaxing against the couch again. My shower head was the one of those detachable kinds, the ones that fall off and smack you over the head if you're not careful. And for some odd reason or another, it sometimes started switching modes. _I_ think it's possessed. But we won't tell Roxas that, now will we?

Roxas huffed again and I noticed a muscle above his eyebrow tic in annoyance. "Well, how do I make it _stop?_"

"Oh, yeah," I said, grinning sheepishly. I stood up and walked into the bathroom, sucking in a sharp breath when hot air entered my lungs. No _wonder_ Roxas came out practically smoking. I reached for the shower head and jumped back in two seconds flat, shaking out my burnt hand and cursing under my breath.

"_Jeez_, Roxas, do you try to like, _boil_ yourself when you take showers?" I asked him incredulously. I myself didn't have problems with hot things. I liked fires and burning things and such, but who tries, well, literally boiling themselves?

"What, do you have a problem with the temperature of the water when I take showers?" Roxas scowled at me, fingers tapping impatiently against his biceps.

"I... I don't. I'm just surprised that you're not scalded or anything... Anyway, this is what you gotta do: Next this happens again, just give it a good smack against the wall."

Roxas raised an eyebrow at me this time, the rest of his face completely deadpan.

"What? It _works,_" I said with a shrug and hit the shower head against the wall, which jerked spasmodically and went back to the mode Roxas had probably set it to: massage. I set the shower head back in place and stepped away with a grin.

"Okay, you're all set to go."

Roxas looked at me with a piercing gaze. We stood like that for a few moments. "What, you gonna watch me shower now?"

I opened my mouth to make a perverted comment but then thought better of it, muttered a _sorry_ and stepped out of the bathroom, the door slamming in my face. I suddenly had the urge to take another shower. A cold one.

"Roxaaas! Hurry up!" I wailed, slamming my fist against the door.

x.x.x

Sora was happily finishing his fourth frappuccino. After finishing the cold liquid inside, he popped off the top and stuck a finger in, scooping out whipped cream and slowly licking it off. The people around him were started to get concerned and Riku merely stared.

"Sora, is that your _fourth_ one?" Naminé asked with somewhat of a shocked expression. Sora only nodded, brown spikes bouncing, and sucked cream off his pinky.

"Holy Jenova, kid," Larxene muttered in slight awe. "How many of those things can you drink at one time?"

The brunette blinked, blue eyes wide in thought, and then shrugged off-offhandedly, returning to the task at hand0. "Uhh, last time I remember, I had nine in a row."

Larxene snorted and shook her head, slumping back in her chair with what could only be called relief. "Was that when you jumped on me screaming that you loved me and then tried diving into the pool from the roof?"

''Uh-huh.''

The blonde's eyebrow shot up delicately, a burst of laughter bubbling up in her throat. And she had thought he had been smoking. Sora a pretty happy-go-lucky kid, but... around copious amounts of caffeine, he simply turned _lethal._ Just like the time he had consumed a pack of Red Bull by himself and also attempted to jump off the roof... in his boxers, with a blanket tied to his neck. But it was also amusing, considering the fact that his boxers had little red hearts on them.

Once the plastic cup was empty, Sora moaned unhappily and turned to the silverette beside him, cocking his head adorably to the side. "Riku, can ya get me another one?"

The boy made an equally unhappy noise, dropping his head down on the table. His forehead and that table had become well acquainted in the past half hour. They were practically best friends.

"I _really_ don't think this is healthy for you," Riku mumbled into the table.

"Oh pleeeeaaase Riku," Sora whined, latching himself onto Riku's arm and nuzzling his nose against the silverette's ear. Goosebumps instantly erupted along the pale column of his neck and Sora knew he was doing something right. "I'll pay you back later," he added on as an afterthought, lowering his voice to a husky whisper. "In bed. With a can of whipped cream."

"...Ugh. Fine. I hate you."

"Whatever you say," Sora giggled, letting Riku disentangle himself.

"Oh, get me a coffee!" Larxene shouted after him with a smirk.

The teen paused and glanced over his shoulder with a deep scowl. "I can pay for Sora's, but get your own damn coffee, Larx. I'm not paying."

The blonde scowled back in return, the expression far more threatening with the way her green eyes narrowed and darkened. She picked up a quarter off the table, flicking it at Riku's head. "There's your pay, buddy."

"Well, that was a waste," the pony-tailed redhead beside her drawled.

"I want my goddamned coffee," Larxene snapped back moodily.

And Cloud just sat by silently like always. He'd have to deal with Sora hyperactivity later on too if Riku decided to dump the brunette in his lap. Well, that was just fan_fucking_tastic.

x.x.x

"Sorry I'm late," I breathed out, bursting through the door. The bell above my head chimed happily and Naminé, Larxene, Cloud, Sora, and Riku all looked up. And.. oh god what was my brother doing here?

...Can you tell we're not on best friend terms? This is my _brother. _My _older fucking brother_. The same one who nearly drowned my in the ocean when I was little, the same one that engraved my fear of clowns and limes (long story) and very large sharp knives-

"Princess here took an hour long shower," I laughed, jerking my thumb towards the blonde behind me..

"Shut the hell up! It wasn't _my_ fault you took two showers," Roxas snarled at me.

Riku glanced behind me, frowning in confusion. "I didn't know that you hooked up with Sora and Cloud's brother."

"Okay, first of all," I dead-panned, my brain not quite working properly once again, "I'm not_ hooked up_ with anyone. And second of all, he's Sora and Cloud's what-now?"

"_Brother_!"

Wincing, I looked towards the source of the shriek. Sora had just only now seemed to have realized that Roxas was hovering behind me and had thrust a finger in his direction, mouth hanging open in shock. I looked back, noticing how very much displeased my little guest looked.

Everything clicked into place almost instantly. I suddenly remembered how only a couple of weeks ago Sora was wailing about his younger brother suddenly vanishing from the house in a fit of rage. He didn't elaborate, and being a good friend, I didn't pressure him for details. And now... I found out that the very same brother that went MIA was the one that showed up on my doorstep. ...How convenient.

Even more interesting was the fact that I never met Roxas until that day. I didn't even know his name because Sora and Cloud were always iffy on the details when it came to their _younger brother._ That's the only way they referred to him. From the conversations that I can recall, apparently, he hung with the wrong crowd.

As Sora and Roxas stared at each other in awkward silence, I slipped away and tapped my hand on Cloud's shoulder, motioning for him to follow me outside. He frowned at me, casting a concerned glance at his brothers, and quietly slid out of his chair. He followed me out the door, and we left the group behind in its staring contest.

Before I could stop myself, I had whirled around, shaking Cloud by his shoulders. "How come neither of you told me I was rooming with your brother?!"

Cloud smacked my hands away, his eyes sliding towards the coffee-shop window. "You said you had found a roommate. You didn't specifically state that said roommate was my little brother."

"How was I supposed to know?!"

"...I kind of like how you're wondering why even though _you_ never told us your roommate's name." He paused and straightened out, arching a brow at me. "Didn't he give you his last name?"

"...No," I muttered, awkwardly running a hand through my spikes. Actually, I hadn't even noticed the similarities until now. I'm sure if Roxas had told me his last name was Strife, I woulda put the two and two together. I wondered if he knew that I was friends with Sora and Cloud, and if so... why did he pick to room with me? Was he desperate? Was the situation really that bad?

"...But... Then... What happened between you g-"

"Do you guys plan on standing out here all day? It's waaaay awkward in there, yo, like you have no idea."

My nerves screamed in irritation and I rounded my glare on my brother, who was poking his big fat stupid red head out of the door. "For your information, _Reno,_ Cloud and I were in the middle of a very intellectual conversation."

"Intellectual huh?" Reno smirked widely, drumming his fingers against the frame of the door. "I'm surprised you knew the _word_ intellectual, much less managed to use it in a _sentence_."

I twitched.

Cloud sighed heavily behind me and swept past me to the other door. ''Three... two...''

"I'll KILL YOU!" I screamed, jumping at Reno, who bolted back and slammed the door in my face. Like I didn't get that enough from Roxas! I collided face first with a cold wall of glass and let out a pained moan when the hit vibrated through my skull. I turned on Cloud, who was busy laughing his pretty blonde head off and smacked him hard upside the head, stalking back into the café.

The stormy air from before had dissipated slightly and Roxas was now perched precariously on a chair beside Larxene, making awkward small talk with Sora. Y'know, the kind you have when you fight with someone, and then bump into each other a few weeks later, not quite knowing what to say?

I decided to side-step the area for now and snuck up to the counter. "Hey, sorry about the epic awkwardness," I told the girl behind the counter, waving my hand to indicate the heaviness that had crept into the air. She smiled at me and shrugged, tapping out of place, dark-polished nails against the counter.

This was Tifa, sorta like the mother of our little clan. She used to date Cloud and currently worked two part-time jobs, one as a bartender in Seventh Heaven and one here. Just in case you were curious.

"Don't worry about it," Tifa said with a laugh. "This place always livens up a bit when you guys come here. Coffee _and_ a soap opera."

I managed a weak laugh of my own and slid a Snapple at her along with five munny. Much to the displeasure of the other patrons, Sora's sugar high and worn off, and he was now sitting there in silence beside Riku, while Larxene, Reno and Naminé peppered Roxas with question. He seemed a little uncomfortable at first, but it was apparent that he was at least_ trying_ to be sociable. It must've been weird to act normal after the apparent big blow-up they went through.

Tifa handed me back my Snapple and change and I looked back at my unusual, weird group of friends. Naminé and Roxas seemed to be getting along fine, even though his eyes nervously kept darting to his brothers. I frowned, feeling a small (tiny, itty-bitty) pang of jealousy. _Noo,_ I wasn't _jealous._ I was just feeling a little _envious._ Yeah, yeah, I know it's the same thing. Shut up. Here I was, slaving away to make the relationship between me and Roxas a little less strenuous, and there was Naminé, breezing right past his defenses with that pretty little smile of hers.

"Who's the blonde kid?" Tifa asked, resting her elbow on the counter and her chin in her hand.

"Your ex-boyfriend," I replied smartly.

Tifa rolled her eyes, smacking me halfheartedly on the arm. "Not that one."

"Oh, that's Roxas. He's my new roommate. And... Sora and Cloud's brother, from the looks of things."

"Ohhh, yeah. I see it now. Cloud mentioned him a few times... Straight?"

"Sure looks like it."

"Upset?"

"What's _that_ supposed to mean?"

"You _know_ what I mean," Tifa purred lowly, smiling deviously.

"No I'm not _'upset'!_" I protested, trying to salvage some of my dignity. Did I _look_ like I was into the sadistic little bastard? He walks through my front door, tells me only his first name, locks himself in his new room, and then slinks back out a few days later like pissed off lion! I mean, sure, okay, I get you've got family problems, but don't take it out on me!

"Doesn't sound like that to me."

"Yo, Axel!" Reno shouted, and I was almost glad for the interruption. "You gonna keep making small talk with her? Though small talk seems perfectly compatible with your brain."

Almost.

"Reno. You. Die. NOW!"

x.x.x

It was somewhere around ten when we decided to leave Starbucks. Yeah I know we're lame, spending the entire time there, but it was a chill sort of day, and after the awkwardness settled, we were all too lazy to get up and go anywhere. There was still a weird tension between the Strife's, but they sort of tip-toed around each other when they spoke, and Naminé, Larx and Reno were unsuccessful in wheedling out too much personal information from the blonde. They got past the usual preference-in-music-favorite-movies-food-coffee-etc... but the family situation was bluntly avoided.

"Bye, Roxas," Naminé called with a cheery wave, heading down the opposite side of the sidewalk with Reno and Larxene. Sora and Riku were already farther ahead of them, whispering to each other, and tailgated by Cloud. "Bye, Axel!"

"Bye," I called after her, and Roxas followed suit. I glanced down at him when he wasn't looking, and noticed a small smile on his face. For one thing, I was glad that he had loosened up... but on the other hand, I was kinda ticked that hadn't really been _me_ that did that. Y'know what I mean? When you try cheering people up, you wanted them to be cheering up by _you_, not someone else. Then you just feel shitty and awkward.

After everyone left, Roxas and I were the only ones left standing outside, side by side in an illuminated circle cast by the street lamp above us.

"So.. you like Naminé?" I asked, unable to keep silent any longer. I tried to make the question sound casual, even a little teasing.

Roxas blinked up at me, eyes dull in the fake light, and shrugged lightly. "Yeah, she's cool, I guess."

"Gonna hook up with her?"

He frowned at me and averted his eyes to the other side of the street. "...Maybe. I'm gay, but... I don't know. Could be promising."

"So... you're bisexual then?"

"I guess?"

"Okay then," I mumbled, feeling even more horribly awkward than before, while some proverbial little Axel inside my head danced with glee. "...Let's go then."

"Where?"

"Um... home?"

Roxas raised an incredulous eyebrow at me and cocked his head. "Are you serious? It's only ten o'clock!"

"Yes I'm serious. I'm tired. We're going home."

''And what if I refuse?'' Roxas asked, crossing his arms.

..._Now_ he decides to crawl out of his little turtle-shell.

"Then I'll do this."

Being a smart and stubborn cookie, I leaned down, slipping my arms easily around Roxas's small waist, and lifting him up until he was draped over my shoulder.

"What the fuck! Axel put me down!" he snarled, beating a fist against my back.

"Mmmnope," I replied smugly, playfully smacking him on the butt.

"AXEL!"

"_Roxas._"

Roxas gave up his protests at some point, and fell silent letting me carry him. He was actually pretty light, so I managed to shift him easily into a much more comfortable position. His head ended up right under my chin and I could smell the shampoo he used. Vanilla? And... was he _sleeping?_

"Roxas?" I asked softly, hoping not to wake him if he really _was_ sleeping.

"... Mm?"

Oh.

"Uh..." I furiously racked my brain for something to say. "Had fun today?"

I felt him shrug, his sigh puffing out against the fabric covering my chest. "Okay, I guess... still a bit shaken up from seeing my brothers but... I'm sorta glad your friends kept pestering me. Otherwise it would've felt so much worse..."

I hummed in understanding, nodding my head against his. "So what did you think about Naminé, Larxene, and Reno?"

"They were... interesting."

I smiled. "They're all weird. Well, Naminé the most sane one. Larxene can be a bitch sometimes and Reno's just annoying, and I'm not saying that just because he's my brother. But they're okay once you get to know them, I suppose."

"...Yeah."

Like this... Roxas was actually very easy to like. And he was cute to boot, too. When he was calm and quiet, and smiled every once in a while instead of trying to bite my head off for something I didn't do, it just made me like him even more. Despite my tiny inklings of jealously, I was inwardly glad that I got to see Roxas like this.

When we got the apartment, Roxas leapt away from me like nothing ever happened, threw a pillow at my head in a belated response to me carrying him, and shut himself up in his room.

x.x.x

**shugo: **Oh god. The ending was so... random. xD

I love Reno. He's funneh.

omg, my word processor doesn't think that the word frappuccino exists. xD

If you guys have any suggestions or anything, don't hesitate to tell me. I don't bite.

Review and I shall give you cake. You know you waaaant tooooo. :P


	3. o3 : peach and lime daiquiri

**(CHAPTER 3 EDITED 2/6/10 Ummm... I fixed some of the interaction between AxelRoxas and KairiRoxas and made Roxas's problems a bit more clearer.)**

**shugo: **Damn, this one is loong. o.o And wow, the feedback isn't half bad.

And... just don't ask about the chapter title. xD I should also warn you that there's a bit of angst here. Not like, ''OMG-I-HATE-EVERYTHING-I-SHALL-SLIT-MY-WRISTS!'' kind of angst.

Just a little. Cuz with every romance comes a little angst. So there. ((evil laugh))

I have a beta reader. :3 fweeeeee!

SPECIAL THANKS TO:  
Darkness-Heart, AnimeDutchess, Artymas, blockofthewritingkind, Shadow of Darkness 22, De dromer, and tiduskazurakitesora

THANKS FOR REVIEWING CHAPTER 2!

- -- - - - -- -- -- - -  
sunshine _in_ a **bag**

CHAPTER o3 : peach and lime daiquiri  
**-roxas-**

_"Too bad you can't buy a voodoo globe so that you could  
make the earth spin real fast and freak everybody out."  
-Jack Handley, The New Mexican, 1988  
_

I had no sleep last night. Absolutely none. At _all_. It was just me, the bed, and the ceiling (which, by the way, I was currently staring at). Hey, was that a crack? There? Just to the left-no, the other left-of that swirly patch that looked a bit like my-

Last night was still fresh in my mind. I don't quite get why it bothered me so much. Wait, _bothered?_ I suppose I should say _bothers_, really. I mean, Axel _carried _me home. And I kinda, well, liked it... See? _That's_ the problem. I'm not even sure if I was _supposed_ to like it. That's why it's such a problem. Grah, _everything_ is a fucking problem these days!

Like, for example, when you go to Starbucks and ask for a small coffee and they say, "Sorry, we don't have small."

And you say, ''What? What the hell do you mean you don't have a small coffee?"

And they say, "We only have Tall, Grande, and Venti."

And then you think that these companies are crazy because you want a fucking small coffee and the equivalent to that is a _Tall_. Oh how smart, they're making you think you're getting more for less when they change the goddamn name and keep the cup small, calling it a _Tall._ Last time I remember, tall was the complete opposite of small. And what the hell is _Venti_? I mean, it's not _normal._ You want a fucking _Large_ and they insist on calling it Venti? What kind of Nazi speak _is_ that? Stupid, conformist coffee chains.

Ahem, sorry, getting off topic...

The alarm went off for eleven in the morning even though I hadn't even fallen asleep. Once. Boy, I'm sure gonna be pissed today. I looked past my alarm clock and at the window. It was raining and the drops seemed to splash almost merrily against the window panes. Dammit. The weather report said it was supposed to keep up 'till tomorrow. I just hoped there wouldn't be a thunderstorm. Scare the shit out of me. Yeah, I admit it. And Sora too. Cloud's the only one who doesn't mind. And ugh. Thinking about my brothers isn't making me feel any better. How _awful_ was yesterday? We could barely talk to each other!

I sighed heavily, reminding myself that I'm supposed meet Kairi in less than an hour. Oh joy. No, not that I had a problem with it or anything.

So about Kairi. She's my best friend. Yeah, she. And shut up. I don't want to hear any bullshit about a guy being friends with a girl. I mean, if you're a guy and you don't have _one_ female friend, you need help. Okay, you know what? I just wasted a minute of my life explaining to you.

I swung my legs off the bed and walked to my closet. Slipping into a black zip-up shirt and dark skinny jeans, I went out my bedroom only to be thrown forward onto my stomach.

"Ugghh..." was all I managed, inwardly wondering what sort of Aeon I managed to piss off. I think my knees got rug-burned. _Ow_. I turned my head-or, turned it as much as someone can when their cheek is pressed into the carpet.

"Good _morning_, ya little shorty!" Axel chirped enthusiastically (and loudly) in my ear. Shorty? _Excuse_ me? Just because you're, like, a full fucking head taller than me doesn't mean-

"What the hell, Axel!" I shouted, thrusting by elbow back and it'd connect with something. It did and Axel tumbled off me and onto the floor, overtaken by a fit of laughter. I think my eyebrow shot up on its own.

"..._What_ are you _high_ on?"

Axel rolled his head towards me, and I shivered at the animalistic smirk on his face. And at that, Axel jumped on top of me, only this time it was much more _uncomfortable_, since he was sitting on my stomach and pinning my wrists to the floor. I frowned at him and his stupid smirk and his stupid red hair and his stupid tattoos, but I think it passed off more as a pout because Axel suddenly said, "Aw, Roxie's cute when he's pouting."

And then crazed red-head leaned down, and I felt his lips brush against mine and my heart leapt into my throat. Right where my breath was stuck. Lovely. With my luck, I would probably choke and die.

"Wh-what the shit?" I yelped out and braced my hands against his shoulders, roughly shoving him aside. "What the _fuck_ is your problem?!" I scrambled away from him, otherwise I'd probably smack that innocent smile right off his face.

"Okay! You know what?" I jumped to my feet and stalked to the kitchen, grabbing a water bottle from the fridge and then heading into the bathroom to grab my toothbrush, squirting toothpaste on it in the process.

"You are crazy. I'm going to Kairi's," were the only words I spared him as I walked towards the door.

But considering the fact that I had a toothbrush in my mouth it came out more like "Yoo ah cwazee. Ah go-in' thoo Kai-ee's."

Axel's brows shot up, and so did the corners of his mouth. He looked far too amused for his own stupid good. And yes, I _did_ receive weird glances from people as I walked to Kairi's house with a toothbrush sticking out of my mouth. And yes, I_ did_ flip them off.

x.x.x

Kairi was probably the only person who was part of Sora's group of friends... yet still _my_ best friend. I preferred to keep to my own group of friends instead of traipsing around after Sora like a lost baby duck with a spoon in his brain, but Kairi happened to be one of the _few_ people I was extremely comfortable with and had known for a long time. I didn't bother sucking up to Sora's other friends, but Kairi was something more. She was the only one who knew of my situation, and had the decency to keep things to herself. The fights, the bad influences, my ex...

"... I think Axel likes you," Kairi laughed at me from her walk-in closet.

"No he doesn't!" I protested, throwing my hands in the air and falling back on her bed. The comforter puffed up around me and I grinned. "I think he just likes seeing my expression afterward."

"No, he likes you! I _know_ him, okay? Just trust me." Kairi paused and stuck her head out from the closet, eyes wide in shock. "And you like him!"

"How'd you come up with _that_ conclusion?"

"Oh, please, I can tell. Besides, Naminé told me how you were checking out his ass."

I propped myself up on my elbows, giving Kairi a completely deadpan expression. There was no way she was _possibly_ serious about that. I mean, there's no harm in appreciating a nice piece of ass right? Doesn't mean I have to spread my legs for the _owner_ right? Or even _like_ him for that matter.

"Don't give me that look," she scolded, waving her finger at me like I was a two-year-old child sneaking cookies before dinner. "You _know_ you were checking him out."

"Nu-uh," I protested, crinkling my nose in distaste. "I don-AHAHA, _Kairi,_ _what_ are you _wearing?_!"

She had finally stepped out, dressing in black flats and an a-line sort of dress that went down to her thighs. And get this: The dress was dark pink with a thick strip of black going around the middle. Remind you of anything?

"Oh, my _God!_" I barked out a hysterical laugh, nearly toppling off the bed. "You look like a fucking _Powerpuff Girl!_"

Kairi frowned and I didn't even have time to think when she threw her shoe at me. It made contact with my head with a loud _thump_, and bounced off. "And there's a problem with that _because?_"

"No no, there isn't a problem," I snickered, dodging another shoe.

"All right then, lets go."

Kairi grabbed the keys to her car and we headed out the door. Unfortunately for me, I failed my last driver's test, while Kairi passed with the flying colors of the rainbow. And because she now has a license, she has a car. And said car is a white Lincoln. And let me tell you, for a two-door car, the thing's pretty massive, and it did _not_ come cheap. Did I mention she was rich and practically lived in a mansion?

(And why did I not move in with her, you might ask. Two words. Overprotective. Father. You know the type, the one who almost has a seizure when his baby girl comes home babbling about her first boyfriend.)

x.x.x

I officially hate shopping. With women. And just women in general._ Plus_ shopping. Ugh, Kairi skewered my brain...

An hour or so, right before I felt the driving need to throw myself out a window, my back pocket began vibrating like crazy. I fumbled for my cell phone and flipped it open. Text message.

**Why, hello, shorty, having fun on  
your little shopping spree? :P  
-Axel**

I frowned at the phone, wishing with all my might that it would explode if I stared at it long enough. It didn't.

So I punched in

**Go screw something  
-Roxas**

How mature. I know. But the whole shopping thing had irritated me, and Axel only added on to the effect.

"Rox, you okay?" Kairi asked, peering over my shoulder.

"How in the four corners of Ifrit's hell does Axel know my number?"

Kairi visibly tensed behind me and grabbed my arm. "Roxas-let's-go-over-there!" she shouted loudly, dragging me into American Eagle.

_Kairi._

I let it go for now, but not for long... After a visit to about twenty different stores-I lost count at thirteen-we were sitting in the food court, sipping away at smoothies. My cell vibrated in my pocket again. About time. Uh.. not that I was expecting it or anything...

**'Screw something?' Like you?  
Sure I could do that.  
-Axel**

I blinked slowly at the phone, wondering why in the name of Shiva I was cursed today. I let out an angry breath through my teeth, practically stabbing at my phone's keys.

**STOP MESSAGING ME!  
-Roxas**

"You gave him my number, didn't you?" I grumbled unhappily, glaring at my phone.

Kairi poked her index fingers together nervously and averted her eyes. "I... uh... might've..." She cringed, possibly waiting for my explosion.

Instead, I took a breath, trying to steady myself.

"And _why_ exactly?"

Kairi sighed, frowning slightly. I didn't like when she frowned. It meant she was being serious, she was going to say something that would make me think about it later, something that might possibly hurt. Plus, it didn't look good on her. She looked better when she was smiling and carefree. Like Sora. He... he looked better when he was smiling too...

"Roxas, you _need_ to get over that fact that you and Marluxia are _over_." And she looked straight into my eyes as she said this. And, dammit, it was hard to look away, and my chest constricted, both from her eyes and her words. "Everything is _over_ now. It's okay. It's _alright_ to relax, be a little happy."

"So you just want Axel to bang me? Or the other way around?" I ground out bitterly. I didn't mean to sound so... _mean_, but it almost felt like she was trying to set me up. Especially when I was still hurting.

Kairi's amethyst eyes widened at me, slowly. "No!" she cried out, shaking her head frantically, her eyes shining. "I would never want anything to happen to you that would hurt you! Especially not like that... not ever again. You've just been.. so insecure lately." There were tears brimming along the edges of her eyes and guilt was making my stomach twist. "A-and I _know_ Axel.. I w-was hoping he would b-be able to loosen you up a b-bit, make... you smile for real again..." I watched with a frown as her shoulders started to shake, her hands clutching at the edge of her dress as salty tears dampened the fabric.

A few people in the food court stopped and stared, so I edged closer to her and slung an arm around her shoulders.

"Kairi," I whispered, feeling myself smile. I got off my chair and sat in the one next to her. Kairi hiccuped and absently rubbed her eyes with her wrist. I pulled her into a tighter embrace and felt her small body shake against mine. "I love you, Kairi," I murmured, dipping my head closer and nuzzling my nose against her hair. "I'll be okay. Just give me some time."

"Ch... love me like a sister," she grumbled back, a tiny laugh flitting around the edge of her voice. She sighed softly and lifted her head, leaning her forehead against mine. "I just worry about you way too much, you dummy," she whispered, and I felt her lips brush against mine, the scent of strawberries overwhelming my senses. My back pocket vibrated, signaling that I had a text message, and jerked me back to earth.

"You gonna answer that?" she hummed, widening her eyes at me.

"...Fine." I finally relented, squashing down in the inhumane urge to simply chuck it and just sit here with Kairi without interruptions for the rest of my life.

**Roxas, do you hate me?  
-Axel**

I stared at the screen for a long moment, just a bit taken back.

"What did he write?"

"He.. he's asking if I hate him..."

"And what are you gonna saaay?"

This was hard. To be truthful, I didn't know if hated him or not. It was a pretty neutral feeling. At moments he was likable, at other moments I wanted him choke on his breath. I mean, I didn't _really_ hate him, there wasn't really a reason for me to, but there were moments where he made me want to cringe. But... I had to give him credit. It had barely been a little over a week and already he was trying to squirm into my space. I started to type in _I don't know_, but stopped halfway through.

**No, I don't hate you.  
-Roxas  
**

I bit my lip. Sure, I was still wary around him, especially after my previous relationship encounter, but... I guess... he was okay.

"So how about we get going?" Kairi asked, tugging at my arm and slipping her hand into mine. "Ice cream?"

"As long as it's sea-salt."

"...Dammit, that means I have to drive across town, don't I? Damn you."

I only gave her a bright grin, feeling it stretch across my face with less effort than before. After finally relocating her car and setting off, I sat there silently in the passenger's seat, flipping my phone in my hands.

**I guess that's good enough.  
Cause. I like you Roxas.  
-Axel**

Some hesitation. I was hoping he didn't mean it _that_ way.

**You do? WHY?  
-Roxas**

**I don't know. Because you're  
really not as bad as I initially  
thought you were. I don't know  
do I really need a reason?  
-Axel**

**Maybe. Gotta go now.. Talk  
to you back at the apartment  
I guess..  
-Roxas**

x.x.x

When I opened the door, Axel was sprawled over the couch, watching what looked like a horror flick on the Sci-Fi channel and tossing popcorn into his mouth. I rolled my eyes after hearing him cackle when some girl got her head severed, and kicked off my shoes, stepping farther inside the apartment.

Once he noticed I was there, Axel lowered the volume and turned to look at me with a smirk and a cocked eyebrow. "Well, if it isn't blonde, emo and short."

"I'm not _short_. I'm just growing very slowly," I protested smartly, giving him a pointed look.

Axel hummed and his eyes flicked downwards, towards my mouth, where a Popsicle stick was poking out past my lips. "Ice cream?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah. Me and Kairi went to Scrooge's." I shrugged and ambled into the kitchen, spitting out into the trashcan. I kind of hovered around the fridge for a few seconds, wondering if I was hungry or not, and when my stomach didn't make any whiny noises, I decided to head back to my room and crash for the night. When I turned around, I instantly noticed that Axel... wasn't on the couch anymore, but standing right in front of me. I frowned in confusion, but all he did was give me a small, simple smile.

My brain instantly shut down when Axel placed his hands on either side of me, cornering me against the counter. When he leaned down, the warm scent of cinnamon and Old Spice rushed into my head, and our breaths mingled even though my own was caught in my throat, and I couldn't swallow, couldn't process simple thoughts, couldn't do anything. My breathing was becoming shallow and Axel's eyes strayed on my lips before flickering up to my eyes. His body was inches away from mine and my head was ringing with warning bells, and I didn't know what to do. Push him away? Run? Move... closer?

Part of me demanded answers, writhing about in a panic. I wasn't used to being so close to people again, even the possibility of _considering_ closeness sent fear rushing through my blood. But at the same time... that other part of me wanted to step closer, wanted to trust the guy who took me in without questions, the guy who was making an attempt to make me feel comfortable despite not knowing a thing about me, or why I was this way.

That same part of me idly noticed things about him that I hadn't before. How a strand of his hair stuck out randomly at the top, how those diamond tattoos under his eyes were violet and not black, how his eyes were so bright green, how close he was...

I gulped as his warm breath whisked across my cheek and stopped at my ear.

"You smell like Sea Salt ice cream," he murmured, and the feeling of his lips brushing against my ear sent involuntary shivers racing up my spine. "Do you taste like it, too?"

My eyes widened, mind blanking for a moment. Was he really suggesting what I thought he was?

Just when I thought he was going to pull away and laugh it off as some stupid joke, just to piss me off, he surprised me yet again.

Before I knew what was happening, his lips had crashed against mine, hard and hot. My heart jumped, sank, and exploded all at the same time, the warning sirens screaming at full blast. I gasped out against Axel's mouth from lack of breath and surprise and he took it as an invitation trailing his tongue along my bottom lip. My body responded on its own accord and my tongue flicked against his. I felt Axel purr into my mouth and his body moved closer, pressing me against the counter. My head was spinning by then, too confused to make sense of anything, far too spazzed out by trying to control my... uncontrollable body.

...And it was over as fast as it started.

Axel pulled back with nothing but a thin line of spit connecting us and an infuriating smirk on his face.

"Mmm... I never really did like sea salt... but that was pretty good."

A sudden, rampaging wave of emotions hit me like a tsunami. I wanted to shout a him, yell at him, hit him... I was so mad right now. How fucking _dare_ he play with me like that? How _dare_ he tug at my emotions, and _scare_ me like that, watch me _panic_ and grin at it?!

Gritting my teeth, I shoved him back, ignoring his startled expression, and stalked to the door, throwing my shoes on as quickly as possible just to get away faster.

"I'm sleeping over Kairi's," I snapped, throwing the door open and practically sprinting into the hall, because Axel was coming after me now, reaching for my arm.

"Rox?"

"Don't _touch_ me!" The shrilling begging surprised not only Axel, but me too. I couldn't remember the last time I sounded like that. I narrowed my eyes angrily at his and jerked my arm away, stalking towards the dark staircase. I just wanted to get away from him, from his confusion, his face, his eyes... He knew shit about me and thought he had the right to do that to me!

It was raining outside, and I didn't hesitate to run, concentrating on only the sound of my footsteps pounding against the wet concrete. Kairi's house was a half-hour run away and I didn't stop for a second, not even well I called to let her know I was on my way.

"Kairi?"

_"Roxas...? Hey, what... what's all that noise?"  
_

"Kai, I'm... sleeping over your place."

_"Huh? Is something wrong?"_

''N-no, nothing _wrong!_ Everything is _fine._ I'll see... see you soon.''

After ending my call, I shut off my cell phone in case Axel tried messaging or calling me. And when I arrived at Kairi's, soaked to the bone, she didn't dare ask me why I was crying. Yeah, I fucking _cried. Me._ Roxas _Strife_. Crying, and for the first time in a long time. It took Kairi three cups of tea to calm me down. She didn't ask me what was wrong either, because I didn't feel like telling her and I think she somehow knew anyway. In the end, I simply stripped to my boxers collapsed on her bed, mentally and physically exhausted.

"Roxas? Rox?" I felt her sit down on the bed beside me, and her warm hand was on my bare back, rubbing wide, gentle circles.

I didn't want to speak or look up or _anything_. So I pretended I was asleep.

x.x.x

**shugo: **HAVE MERCY ON ME THAT WAS MY FIRST MAKE-OUT SCENE!((cries)) Role-plays don't count...

Ahem...

Okay, before anyone asks or anything, _no_, Kairi did not kiss him. And if it looked like it did... well the end of this chapter makes up for it I guess. And I didn't make Kairi a bitch because I actually like her. I even support soraXkairi and roxasXkairi. Though not as much as rikuXsora and axelXroxas. Cuz yaoi is teh pwn :D SO DON'T HATE ME!

Plus, I feel that the KH girls are getting neglected... So there.

And yes, I have imagined Kairi dressing up as Blossom. And Namine as Bubbles. And Yuffie as Buttercup. 8D I'm queer.

Omg.. I was looking at AkuRoku fanart on DA while writing this. ((insert squeal here)) And I finally made my own account! ((tears of joy)) Uh... okay... so..

And I _will_ be using that reply button. So check your emails and stuff... I'll probably be replying to a few of your reviews. Note 'few' cuz I'm lazy. xD

So review! Review I say! I'll dance! I have brownies! ((cries))


	4. o4 : sharpie

**(CHAPTER 4 EDITED 2/10/10 - I wasn't really... able to salvage this one as well as the other three. Hopefully, it came out better this time around XDD Marly was mentioned, but the situation was not yet explored :'D)**

**shugo: **For those of you wondering, that Starbucks rant is from Foamy. And from my dad too. Cuz we went to Starbucks once and yeah.. hehe. And omg lookit all those pretteh reviews.

SPECIAL THANKS TO:  
Kill-All-Flamers, muddPiEE., blockofthewritingkind, Darkness-Heart, **ff-reader**, AkuRokuFanGirl, Shadow of Darkness 22, Nil1875, **Rockr4Life**, and animefan4life12

Ah, and I apologize for.. this WHOLE chapter. It might be odd in some way or another. I wrote it and didn't really check it. Don't ask about the chapter title again. Plus, I was listening to all four of Dane Cook's CD's in a row while writing this and was reduced to a laughing pile on the floor.

Dane: I love the Justice Files. Because I love _justice._ And I love _files._ And when the two combine, I could blow a justicey _load._

xD aha, sorry if I've just contaminated some of your minds.

Dane Cook is one silly bitch. :D

- -- - - - -- - -  
sunshine _in_ a **bag**

CHAPTER o4: sharpie  
**-axel-**

_"My baby's pretty as a car crash, subtle  
as a splinter, yeah, my baby's smooth as  
sandpaper, warm just like the winter."  
-_**The Pink Spiders** modern swinger

"You... You _kissed_ him?" The fauxhawked blonde in front of me blinked, mouth hanging open in shock.

"Yeah..." I laughed awkwardly, rubbing the back of my neck.

Demyx hummed in interest and swiveled in his chair, staring out at the display window for a moment. And it was Monday, and the mall was bustling with people. Thankfully for me and Dem, there weren't that many people idling in the music store at the moment, and we simply lounged behind the counter, getting on each other's nerves.

"And he ran out on you?"

"Uh-huh... He's probably pissed as hell at me."

Demyx snorted and turned towards me, rolling his eyes. "Yeah, but _why_ did you do it? Do you like him or something?"

Huh. _Did_ I like Roxas? I mean, to be _honest _with you, sometimes I just do things on impulse. I'm not even _sure_ what in Gaia's holy name possessed me to kiss him yesterday. I don't remember _drinking_ anything, yet at the same time, my head came up with this _brilliant_ idea and made me shove my tongue down the poor kid's throat.

No. I have _no_ control over my bodily actions.

"I.. don't really know."

"I say you do." Demyx grinned at me, waggling his brows. Yeah, like I was _supposed_ to listen to that?

"... I'm taking a break, Dem."

''Okay!'' He smiled and slumped back in his chair, giving me a creepy, almost x-ray kind of look. I really had to stop hanging out with the kid... He was starting to be able to read my mind. It was _horrid_.

I sighed to myself and shoved my hands into the pockets of my jeans, slouching my way to the food court. Interestingly enough, when I got into the line for Burger King, I noticed a familiar spiky head of brown hair standing in front of me, humming to himself.

I grinned and reached out, poking his shoulder. "Hey, Sora."

He jumped in surprise at the touch, whirling around to face me with wide eyes. It took a moment (one that where I inwardly laughed at him for it) before he realized who I was.

"Ah! Oh, Axel, hey! Skipping work?"

"No, just taking a break without permission," I said, rolling my eyes.

Sora laughed and shook his head, stepping up to get his order. After retrieving his tray (I won't describe his preferred palette, but believe me when I say the kid eats like a _lion_), and having a little mishap over forgotten ketchup packets (I think he drinks the stuff), he dragged me over to a secluded little table, popping french fries in his mouth."

"Say, where's Riku?" I asked as Sora drowned his french fries in ketchup. "You two are practically joined at the hip."

He snorted softly and shrugged, looking back over his shoulder as if expecting his boyfriend to pop out from behind a plant. "I forgot what store we were in but I suddenly got hungry and ditched him."

I burst out laughing, but the sound quickly died down when Sora met my eyes, a frown tugging down at his lips. "Kairi called me. She said Roxas came over crying. He _never_ cries. Did you do something to him?"

My voice instantly faltered, and I slouched in my chair, suddenly feeling very guilty. Geez, the kid didn't waste any time in getting straight to the good stuff. "Uh, um, I... might've.."

He sighed and averted his eyes to the table, twisting a finger around a lock of hair. I was almost concerned, never having seen him so pensive and serious before. Finally, he sighed and decided to speak. "It's just that... ever since-"

"Sora! I can't believe you fucking _left_ me!"

Sora and I swiveled our heads up simultaneously, only to see Riku storming over to our table with his mouth pulled into a frown.

"I was _huuungry!_" Sora pouted. Riku opened his mouth to say something but Sora stuffed french fries in his mouth.

They bickered shortly, resulting in Riku sitting in Sora's lap and trying to give the boy a noogie. I decided against pressing Sora for further juicy details, because I wasn't quite sure if he wanted to bring up issues about his brother in front of Riku. The boy was such a mystery, despite the fact that his life was so close to mine. "...Uh, hey listen, my break's over. I'll be leaving you now."

Riku swallowed with difficulty, wincing past another handful of fries, and managed out, "B-break? You mean... when you ditch work?"

I deadpanned, staring at him and then Sora, then shook my head with a sigh and left the table, forgetting that my sole mission had been to get something to eat.

x.x.x

Besides meeting Sora and the food court and not having a chance to wheedle out of him what was wrong with Roxas, it was a pretty average day; nothing out of the ordinary. I came home from work and ordered myself a pizza. Being the 'generous' guy that I am, I saved a few slices for Roxas; he still wasn't back from Kairi's. He must be pretty pissed about last night. Not like I could've helped it if I'd wanted to, but... I _really_ wanted to kiss him. Call me an idiot or whatever you want, but I really wanted to and well, my body just sorta did it on its own... You know, when you don't want to do something, but you sorta do, and the dominant part of your body takes over and-

I hope it hadn't been my libido talking.

...Cue silence.

...Anyway, there was supposed to be one helluva thunderstorm starting around six-ish, and, sure enough, when Roxas came traipsing through the door at a quarter past six he was soaked to the skin. His hair was dark and plastered to his face, and his hoodie was dumping a generous waterfall on the carpet. I could make out his scowl from under the darkness of his hood (which didn't do a good job in protecting him), and the soft curses he uttered under his breath.

"The rain caught ya, didn't it?" I asked, trying to sound friendly and not push his buttons.

"Sh-shut the h-hell u-up," Roxas grumbled, toeing off his shoes and kicking them towards the door. I could tell he was still trying to sound mad, but his chattering teeth somehow ruined the effect and made it a... well, cuter.

I bit my lip to keep from myself from chuckled and pushed myself off the couch, heading to the bathroom to grab a towel for the kid. By the time I came back, I was surprised to find his clothes in a dark, soggy heap on the floor, and the blonde himself standing in the middle of the living room in nothing but his boxers, arms wrapped around himself and body shaking from the cold. I barely managed to squash the urge to give the poor guy a hug and tossed him the towel instead.

"Th-thanks," he managed out softly, running it once through his blonde locks before swinging it over his shoulder.

I smiled, a little glad that he was somewhat tame. By now, I'm sure he was just trying to forget about last night.

"You're welcome," I chirped, unable to conceal my grin. "Now go put some clothes on, you'll catch a cold."

Roxas rolled his eyes at me, shaking his bangs out of his face. "Who are you? My mother?"

"Nope! Just a concerned roommate. I mean, I don't want you to get your sickly germs all over me. That's the _last_ thing I need. Roxas germs."

Roxas just stood there and blinked at me from under the towel with those large blue eyes before huffing under his breath and stalking towards his room. "You're such a queer, you know that?"

_Well, Foxy-Roxy, I **did** kiss you back there._

I followed after him, my grin stretching even further. "Ah, so you've been paying attention?"

Roxas snorted and pulled his closet door open, tugging out a pair of sweatpants and an over-sized t-shirt. "What, are you gonna stand there and watch me change? Creep."

"Roxy, there are nicer ways to ask me to leave, you know that, right?"

I had him glaring at me from the moment I bestowed him with his new nickname

"Out! Outoutoutout!" he shouted at me, his cold hands bracing themselves against my back. I laughed and let him push me out the door, trying not to trip and faceplant on the floor. Roxas stalked out five minutes later, clothed and pissy, and sunk down on the couch, arms crossed tightly over his chest. I walked over, just about to offer him the last of the pizza in case he was hungry when something along the lines of a cannon shot sounded outside. I was just barely able to make Roxas jump in fright before the lights flickered and completely shut off.

"A-Axel?"

"Yeah?"

"I c-can't see anything..."

"No shit, Sherlock."

A burst of light illuminated the window, throwing dark shadows against the wall. Roxas's eyes were wide and bright, face pale and frozen. If I didn't know any better... I _swear_ I just heard him whimper. I went over to the window and peeked past the curtain, where the rain pounded against the glass and thunder rumbled overhead.

"Rox?"

"..._What_."

"You okay?"

"...What kinda fucking question is that?"

"Don't bullshit me, Roxas. I heard you." I looked back over my shoulder, trying to find him in the dark.

Roxas didn't say anything so I decided to continue.

"You and Sora have the same problem?"

"...Y-yeah.. it's a long story.."

Sora was absolutely _terrified_ of thunderstorms. Last time a big one hit the city, he showed up at my apartment and glued himself to my side, since Riku was at school. I couldn't get the poor kid off me until Riku dropped by to pick him up.

"C'mere."

"I _can't see anything!_"

"Then follow the sound of my voice!"

"No, _you_ come here!"

I rolled my eyes in exasperation, and felt my way back across the room, trying not to trip over anything. Another crashing boom took me by surprise and I tumbled forward, my legs hitting the side of the couch and my upper body falling over on top of a smaller, shakier one.

"Why, hello," I purred, smirking up at him. Roxas narrowed his eyes, bright in the dark apartment and shoved his hands against my shoulders. My smirk turned into a full-blown grin.

_BOOM!_

The body beneath mine froze, and the heart in the chest pressed against mine fluttered. I shifted my weight and slid off him, dropping down into the open space right beside his hip. He tried to edge away from me, gain some distance, but thunder rumbled and an earsplitting clap seemed to shake the furniture. Before I knew it, I had an armful of a shivering blonde. Light flashed through the dark room and Roxas tensed, gripping tightly at my shirt.

"Heh, Rox, calm down! It's not that bad," I murmured, trying to sound comforting. "C'mon, lets find some candles, you'll feel better with some light."

He didn't protest, and even let me take him by the hand to lead him into the kitchen. It was even darker in there, with no window, and I used my hand to feel along the cabinets. "...They should be somewhere on top, I think..."

"You can't reach up there," Roxas said, voicing my own thoughts.

"Uh huh, that's why you're gonna help me."

"..._How_, I'm _shorter_ than you."

I smiled innocently in what I hoped was his direction and slipped my hand out of his grasp. I found new purchase on his narrow hips and tightening my hold, slowly lifting him up. "Like this." He shook in my arms from surprise, teetering dangerously and gripping my shoulders.

"Ah! Axel, what the hell!"

"Well, hey, now you can reach the candles."

Roxas only grumbled incoherently at me and stretched out his body, fingers sliding over the dull wood. Before long, we were situated back on the couch, with about ten little tea-light spread out over the coffee table. The rain wasn't letting up outside, and, in fact, I'm sure it was coming down even harder than before.

"You weigh like a piece of paper. Are anorexic or something?"

"I could say the same thing about you," he grumbled, glaring at me and shifting around until he was laying back against the armrest.

"Huh, oh really?"

''Your hips, like, jut out. You have girly hips."

I swatted his hand away when he poked at me and grinned. "Oh yeah? Well.. you have a girlish frame!"

He crossed his arms and quirked an eyebrow, a half-hearted smirk pulled at his lips. "Ah, so you've been checking me out?"

Interesting response. I half expected him to lash out and blah blah blah, attack me, but spending the night at Kairi's seemed to have calmed him down. It was almost like he was... flirting a little with me, despite having a complete meltdown the night before.

"Uh huh, well it's kinda hard _not_ to when you step out of the shower half-naked!"

Roxas opened his mouth to retort (probably with something nasty from the looks of the scowl on his face) when there was a rumble and he tensed.

"...So you were saying?"

x.x.x

We managed to pass an hour together peacefully (yes, shocking, I know) and made a half-assed attempt at getting to know each other a little more.

"Favorite Jolly Rancher flavor?"

"Watermelon."

"Color?"

"Orange. You?

"Green."

"Oh, really?" I inquired, lifting my brows at him. "You don't look like a green sorta guy."

Roxas tilted his head at me. ''I suppose I don't look much like anything, huh?''

''Nah, just, uh... agh, never mind.,." I frowned, furiously wracking my brain for another acceptable question. "So, uh, who was the last person you went out with?''

Roxas smirked at me and crossed his arms. "Why do you want to know? Are you implying something?"

"No, I'm just curious!" I replied honestly, giving him my best pout. Maybe I'd finally be able to make sense of all these... _problems _that seemed to be circling him.

"Neh, a guy named Marluxia," he said, shrugging offhandedly. "But, uh, it didn't go too well."

"Why? What happened?"

Roxas narrowed his eyes, scrutinizing me as though thinking of whether to tell me or not. "Things. I don't really feel like talking about it right now. It's personal information, no offense."

I shrugged, not having actually expected for him to come out and tell me in such a short time. Sure, we've known each other for over a week, but... even so, I shouldn't be prying. "So.. you're completely one hundred percent gay?"

He laughed at me as though I said something extremely amusing. "I'm bi. I thought we already had this conversation. Anyway, a lot of girls these days are real ho's, y'know?"

I nodded, a small laugh escaping past my lips. "Yeah, that's true. Too bad about, uh, what's-his-name. It really sucks when things don't work out, yeah? When there's a relationship, and a relation_shit_."

Roxas slowly blinked at me, breathing out a soft, disbelieving laugh. I grinned back, feeling myself bristle with pride for cheering him up. He must've noticed, because seconds later he scrunched his nose and stuck his tongue out. "...So, you like horror movies?"

"Mm, yeah. I was watching something last night but then _you_ had to interrupt," I scoffed, jabbing a finger at him. We suddenly both became awkwardly silent the moment those words left my lips. _Last night.._

I frowned and averted my eyes to the edge of my shirt. "Uh, say, Rox-"

"Just forget it and shut up," he said, turning his head away from me.

As if. Sure, I had enjoyed the kiss, and had _wanted_ to kiss him in the first place... but I felt guilty as hell for upsetting him that badly. "No I won't. I'll keep thinking about it 'till I explode, so... I-I'm sorry... for kissing you." I finished sort of lamely and shrugged, chancing a glance up to Roxas.

He sat there silently for a long while, contemplating my apology. Even in the horrible lighting, I could just make out the way his cheeks darkened. "I-it's cool,'' he muttered, coughing awkwardly. "Just... don't do it again..."

It was there where I was a little stumped. There he was, blushing up a storm and telling me not to kiss him again... even though he kissed me _back_ last night. So I took the dangerous road, and decided to simply... test him a little. Just to see how he'd respond.

"Hey, Roxas, think fast!" I grabbed the cushion lying innocently behind me and chucked it at his face.

He quickly reacted and moved out of the way.

"Aw, you're no fun," I pouted, huffing at the unfairness of it all. "Give me your pillow!"

"What? No! Get your own!"

"Hey! That's technically _my_ pillow."

"Yeah, well, it's mine at the moment."

I grinned coyly and lunged forward grabbing the pillow, and he pulled it back, making me fall right against him, our noses bumping together. Roxas tensed beneath me, breath catching in his throat.

He tried to look at anything else but me. I watched him carefully, waiting for him to pull away, but he never did. So I tilted my head slightly and leaned forward, our lips brushing, making Roxas blush even more. He finally looked up at me, his sapphire orbs locking with mine, dark and swimming with an emotion that I couldn't quite understand. Confusion, maybe? At this point he was splayed back against the couch and I was leaning forward, straddling his hips. I held his gaze, one of my hands sliding up his arm, over his shoulder, lightly up his neck and jaw. His face was hot beneath my fingers and I smiled, dipping my head down those last couple of inches until out lips met.

He didn't respond to my kisses, but his hands, curled tightly into the front of my shirt, didn't push me away.

So I pressed on and ran my tongue along his lips, coaxing him to open his mouth. He hesitantly complied, lips parting under mind and his hands unwound from my front, slipping up until his fingers were threaded into my hair. So my surprised, he pressed back when I brushed my tongue against his and pulled me a little closer. The long-forgotten sound of thunder boomed outside and Roxas whimpered. I stroked his cheek with my thumb, hoping to calm him down and he wrapped his arms around my neck. The kid was responding just the way hoped he would... The way I _wanted_. I moved away and Roxas let out a sort of disappointed little moan, but it was okay because I pulled down the collar of his shirt and licked the dip of his collarbone, kissing up to his jaw line. His skin was warm and soft and clean from the rain, and I pressed closer, seeking out a pulse point below his jaw bone and giving it a light suck.

"Nngh, A-Axel..."

We must've been on the same brainwave or something because we both suddenly flew back from each other, clutching at our chests and gasping for breath. I could tell he was blushing as hard as I was. All I managed to do was laugh nervously, one phrase running over and over in my mind-

_What the fuck just happened?_

Roxas was the first to break the silence.

"I..I'm going to bed," he stammered, running into his bedroom as though I was planning on raping him on the spot.

I sighed and fixed my eyes on his bedroom door. Now I felt like ramming my head into a wall repeatedly sixteen times. I hope I hadn't scared him too badly. And at least he didn't run off this time. Plus, there was one tiny little thing that gave me some hope. He had kissed me back. Responded willingly. Had denial written on his forehead in proverbial sharpie.

x.x.x

**shugo:** ARGH! This chapter was so horrible.. ((tears)) I might have to go back and edit it.. I dunno. I got lazy and didn't really check it all the way through.

And now.. I have a sudden urge to write a cloudXsora fic so I'm gonna start on that. Cuz there aren't enough of those. And I think that's one of my new favorite couples.. o.O

And someone please lookit my deviantart page! (link in pro) I drew a soraXriku pic!

Review and make me happy. I shall give you... um.. let's see.. who likes donuts?


	5. o5 : decorated emergency

**Shugo:** Ugh... sorry this took so long. Really XD

And since I can't remember who reviewed when, I'll just THANK YOU ALL. :D

No, seroiusly, you guys are great.

I wish I would write my chapters faster but there's school and all that crackk and I'm slipping in some subject (A student XDD)

omg I made Roxas cry again ((facedesk))

- - -- -- - -- - - -- -- -  
sunshine _in_ a **bag**

CHAPTER o5 : decorated emergency  
-Roxas' POV-

_''I'm two quarters and a heart down, and I don't wanna forget how how your voice  
sounds these words are all I have so I'll write them, so you need them just to get by.''  
_**-Fall Out Boy **Dance Dance

I finally woke up at around six forty-five (what do you expect from going to bed at eight?) and the first feeling I got was the one you get after you go to a rave, get really drunk, fall asleep, and wake up with the most _painful_ goddamn hangover in your entire life-span.

I groaned, sitting up and looked at the clock. The numbers were too bright and the room was too dark and everything else was just plain blurry. Plus, it was _freezing_. Last I remember, I think it was the beginning of August. Unless, that is, time fast-forwarded while I was asleep.

Vague pictures of what happened yesterday spilled messily in my mind. I groaned again remembering that Axel kissed me..._again._..

The consant noise of the cars outside seemed to be louder than ever. This is what I get for getting and apartment in the middle of a city.

...Okay, when did it just become the Ice Age? AND I GOTTA KEEP AXEL AWAY FROM ME!

I rubbed my arms and tried (note the word _'tried'_) to get to the bathroom, stumbling three times in the process (that's where my 'try' comes in).

Barely realizing what I was doing, I turned on the faucet watching warm water flow out. I put my hands under the water and sighed contently. Well.. at least my hands aren't cold anymore. Now, about the rest of my body... Ugh. What was wrong with me? My hands were shaking so badly that I think I got toothpaste in my hair as I was brushing my teeth. And my eye. And.. woah, okay, how did it get over _there?_

I leaned my head against the cool tile of the wall for a moment. It felt good considering the fact that I was unbearably cold. I _'tried'_ to get back to my room but ended up collapsing in front of Axel's door in a coughing fit. I must've been loud because Axel peered out of the door moments later, blinking sleepily, and finally looked at me.

''R-roxaaas?'' he said, brutally murdering my name with a huge yawn. ''Whutcha doin' up so early?''

I opened my mouth to answer but went into another coughing fit, my throat burning. Axel kneeled down next to me, rubbing my back. His warm hand met my forehead and he suddenly drew it back and I leaned forward slightly wanting that warm contact back. My lungs felt like they had been poked with needles and my throat burned and I was cold.

I want to die. Now.

''Roxas, you're sick. I _knew_ you'd get sick,'' he snickered.

''I'm n-not s-s-sick.''

''Aha, Rox, you're _cold?_ You're like, over a hundred degrees!''

''S-so? Wh-what's your p-point?''

Axel only shook his head and chuckled. ''C'mon.''

He hoisted me up by my arm but I stubbornly refused to leave the spot on the floor. So he threw me over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. Do I _look_ like a vegetable to you? DO I? I DIDN'T THINK SO!

He threw me on the couch and was gone before I was able to see straight. I sneezed and my headache got so bad that it felt like my head exploded seven times repeatedly. When I finally opened my eyes, my vision was black. For a second there, I thought I went blind. My hands reached for my face but only met with soft fabric. So I thought the obvious and pulled the whatever-it-was off my face. It was black (no surprise there) and it was a comforter.

''Is th-this yours?'' I asked Axel, who was leaning in the doorway to his room.

''No, the tooth fairy's,'' he replied with a roll of eyes.

Two can play at this game..

''W-well then, tell her she owes me money for ripping me off.''

Axel chuckled. ''Ah, that'll have to wait. She's vacationing in the Caribbean with the Easter Bunny.''

Oh, he's good.

Axel frowned and crossed his arms.

''What?''

''One sec, I have to call your brother.''

''What? Why? I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!''

Axel raised an eyebrow. ''Um, yeah, Rox, you're sick...''

I stuck out my bottom lip angrily. ''One, I'm not sick! And two, stop calling me Rox!''

There was a chuckle and a shake of the head. ''Sora, gives me the same look... speaking of which. I don't have any medicine, so I'm calling him. Okay, _Rox?_''

''I'M NOT SICK! AND STOP... Achoo!''

''Bless you.''

Smirk.

Glare.

So a few minutes later Axel got off the phone with Sora and turned to look at me.

''He'll be here in a bit.'' He shrugged.

My eyes narrowed at him and he stared back. Okay, there's not much I like about Axel (I LIE!) but he had the most attractive green eyes I've ever seen. Call it cheesy or whatever you want, I don't give a shit. There can't possibly be any other person on the face of this earth with greener eyes than Axel. I should know. I like green... Since when was his face was so close to mine...?

A yelp escaped my mouth as I jumped back. How did he get from _waaay_ over there to the _couch? _

Axel sighed and leaned back against the armrest. ''I could really go for a cigarette right now...''

He smokes? ''You smoke?'' His apartment definitely did _not_ smell like smoke.

''Sometimes. I'm not, like, _addicted_ to it. I'd like to keep my lungs for at least another ten years thank you very much.'' He leaned over the side of the couch and reached for something.

''You keep cigarette's under the _couch?_'' I asked as he pulled a box out. And... even if he did barely smoke, it didn't mean he wouldn't get _sick_ in ten years.

''No. It just happened to be where I last left it. When was that...?'' He lit one and took a drag. ''...What, Rox? Want one?''

I instantly felt my throat close up. And not because of the smell of the smoke. I've smoked before. But...

''Axel, don't,'' I said, tugging the cigarette out of his mouth.

He didn't snatch it back like I thought he would. He didn't say he could smoke all he wanted and I couldn't do anything about it like I thought he would.

All he said was a simple, ''Okay.'' And then, ''Why?''

My gaze lowered involuntaringly. I remembered so much and yet when I tried to recall it, not much would come.

''A guy I knew used to smoke.. and he got really sick. After that, I never saw him again. I think Cloud had said he moved. I don't remember much because I was little, but I remember I cried a lot when he was gone.''

''He moved because he smoked?''

''Well... yeah. I know it sounds weird. He smoked heavily. Maybe he went to get help... I...really don't know...''

_Roxas stood on the sidewalk, waiting for the walk signal to turn on. A brown-haired teen stood next to him, cigarette in his mouth, his hands casually in his pockets. Roxas looked up at him, blinking his large blue eyes. The teen smiled and leaned down._

_''Hey kid.''_

_''...Hi.''_

_''Why are you here by yourself?''_

_Roxas shrugged. _

_''Well, there must be a reason you're out here on your own. You meetin' someone?''_

_Roxas nodded and then half-shrugged. ''I was s'posed to meet my brothers. But they weren't at the park.''_

_''How old are you?''_

_''Um.. seven.''_

_''So your brothers ditched you?''_

_''I dunno. I can't find them. They said they were gonna be at the park.''_

_''Ah. You up for ice cream?''_

_Roxas looked at the ground shyly. The teen took his hand and walked across the street as the signal changed. _

_''Hey, mister? Why are you being so nice to me?''_

_The nameless person laughed. ''Mister? No, no, no, name's Leon.''_

_''Oh. Leon, why are you being so nice to me? You're a stranger.''_

_''Yeah, so? That's the point. Plus, you didn't look all sunshine a daisies.''_

_''Oh,'' said Roxas, blushing slightly. Then he smiled._

_''So, Shorty, you got a name?''_

_Roxas pouted. He wasn't _that_ short. ''Roxas.''_

_''Ah, okay. Roxas. Nice name.''_

_''Mist-Leon, you smoke?''_

_Leon's smile faltered for a second-only a second-before he smiled again and said, ''See this cigarette?''_

_Roxas nodded._

_''Don't ever smoke, Rox.''_

_''But.. _you're_ smoking.''_

_''Haha, I know. And I guess it doesn't make sense that I'm telling you not to smoke while I'm smoking right in front of you. But tell you what. Don't ever start. Ever. It's addictive.''_

_''But, why don't you quit?''_

_''It's not that easy. Because once you start, you'll have hell of a time stopping. It's not good for you.''_

_''But.. you're gonna stop, right? Right, Leon? You're gonna quit,'' Roxas asked (almost pleaded) and took the cigarette from Leon's mouth._

_Leon smiled. This kid was amazing. Simply _amazing. _''Yeah, I promise.''_

I felt cold one second and then very warm the next. Another second passed when I finally realized Axel was hugging me.

Wait, what?

''Roxas, you're shivering so hard that someone might think you're having a seizure.''

I sighed and leaned against him. He was so damn _warm. _And so _comfortable. _So much for keeping Axel away from me. My arms slowly found their way around Axel's waist. Yeah, and he called _me_ skinny.

The scent of smoke lingered around him but it didn't smell bad at all. In fact, it smelled sweet. It was everywhere, in that small little bubble that was around Axel and I. It floated in the air, around the couch, seeped into his shirt. I buried my face in his chest and inhaled.

_It wasn't enough..._

We stayed like that for a while before I started shifting around, trying to stretch out the ache in my back.

''Heh, I thought you had fallen asleep...'' Axel mumbled.

I shook my head. ''Wouldn't be able to even if I wanted to.'' I even coughed for emphasis.

''You whiney punk,'' Axel laughed, ruffling my hair. ''I'd kiss you better but I don't want your sickly germs all over me.''

I frowned and swatted his hand away. ''I wouldn't want you to kiss me anyway.''

''Oh _sure._''

''Shut up before I stuff this comforter in your mouth.''

''Ooooh, scary.''

I rolled my eyes.

How long have I known him now? A little over a week?

''Axel...''

''Mm?''

''Why... why do you care so much about me? We've only known each other a little while. Why...why do you care so much?''

Axel seemed to find this highly amusing.

''Cause that's what friends do. Look out for each other.''

I gave him a weird look. ''We barely know each other and you call us friends?''

This time Axel rolled his eyes. ''Jeez man, what rock have you been hiding under all your life? Man, you're lame. You don't need to know a person too long to become friends. It just comes naturally, y'know? Why don't you open up a bit?''

I looked away stubbornly.

I didn't see any point in that. But maybe that's because I never really had any true friends. And maybe I never had any real friends because I never opened myself up to anyone. And then this Axel guy just comes along and he's reading me like the pages in a book. A book whose spine is broken and the pages are worn and faded and dusty, but he can read still me so clearly and he's being so careful about not breaking my fragile spine or ripping any pages.

And...since when did I cry so easily?

I brushed away at my eyes, and felt my throat tighten, burn.

''You wouldn't know,'' I muttered darkly. ''It's like my existence isn't even aknowledged! I'm only here to be shunned. My parents hated me. They never said anything but I could tell. Anyone with enough common sense could. You know who I was? I was that lonely little kid in the corner during Christmas watching his parents give all their attention to his two brothers. It was always like that!''

Axel was shocked at the sudden burst, I could tell, looking at me like I was a time-bomb ready to explode with pent-up emotions.

And I was.

And I did.

''IT WAS NEVER ME! THEY HATED ME!'' I shouted, loud enough to make my throat tear, and slammed my fist into the back of the couch so hard that I felt it shake.

I was breathing hard and my hand was shaking before it fell limp and I fell against Axel. He never flinched once.

''Why... do they... hate me so much? What did I...What did I ever do wrong? What did I do wrong, Axel?''

I had expected him to say _I don't know_. But he never did.

''You never did anything wrong, Roxas.''

That was the last thing I heard because then, I think I passed out from my fever. Or maybe it was something else.

I think my spine broke and my pages flew out.

x.x.x

**Shugo:**...wow. That was unexpected.

er... yeah... I don't like this one. I think it's okay. I could've probably done better. ((fails life))

But wait. ((pokes ending)) It that a plot I see? ((shrug))

Hahaha blah wtf review kaythnxbai.


	6. o6 : i'll keep singing this lie

**Disclaimer: **i seem to have been forgetting to write these. it still doesn't mean i own anything :)

**Shugo: **Sorry for the wait you guys. It's just, with school and stuff... yeah, i'm tired

This one's a bit longer.

I apologize in advance for any mistakes. Both spelling and grammar-wise. If there are any, please tell me so I can try to go back and fix them. I don't really... have a beta-reader no more :X

And thanks for all the reviews you guys. Like, seriously. They make me feel all warm and fuzzeh inside :3

-- - - -- - - - -- - -  
sunshine _in_ a **bag**

CHAPTER o6 : i'll keep singing this lie

_''Are we growing up, or just going down? It's just a matter of time until we're all found out, take  
our tears, put 'em on ice, cuz I swear I'd burn the city down to show you the light.''_

-Fallout Boy **'Sophomore Slump or Comeback of the Year'**

.x.Axel.x.

He scared the shit out of me the way he passed out like that. I nearly thought he was... y'know... pushing up daisies or something. But then I thought that was stupid to think. After all, who breathes when they die?

Man, the kid had it pretty rough. Well, I couldn't really say so since I didn't really know what went on in his life. I mean, some people have something wrong in their heads and it affects the way they think. Or maybe he's just plain emo. Either way, I couldn't help but feel bad for him. Be there for him. Even if he didn't want me around, he just... he just had that effect on me. It's not like my life wasn't fucked up either so I could compare somewhat to Roxas. Or maybe I was just comparing to the way he felt.

Sora arrived some five minutes later.

''He's asleep?'' was the first thing he said when he stepped in.

''Hello to you too,'' I scoffed, rolling my eyes.

''_Oh,_ hey. Sorry,'' Sora replied sheepishly. ''So... is he okay?''

''He has a fever. Was coughing before and passed out just recently.''

''Oh,'' Sora said, frowning slightly. He walked over to the couch and sat down by Roxas' head.

I walked over to him and knelt down in front of the couch. ''I have to say, he's pretty cute when he's asleep... 'Cause he's not trying to bite my head off...''

Sora chuckled and nodded. ''Yeah.''

The both of us sat in silence for a few minutes, listening to Roxas breathe.

''Say, Sora...'' I began, trying to find a way to put my words together. ''What was it like when you guys were little?''

Sora blinked slowly at me and the unexpected question and the frowned. ''...Did Roxas tell you something?''

''Yeah he said-''

''I know, I know... It's not really true y'know. See, our dad died when were much younger. Roxas... he fell into melancholia. Like.. depression but worse. And, I don't know how come, but he just hated us after that. He hated us with passion.. So he moved out suddenly and without warning and we didn't see him for a while. But it's good to know he's in good hands.'' Sora turned to smile at me and I smiled back.

''Of course,'' I said.

But on the inside, my heart was slowly breaking. I knew what it was like to lose a parent. Like someone came up to you when you weren't expecting it and cut out a chunk of your life.

So instead, I pushed the topic away for another day.

''Hey,'' I whispered, nudging Roxas' shoulder. ''Wake up sunshine...''

Roxas groaned and rolled over to face me, gorgeous blue orbs blinking sleepily at me. I thought I nearly lost myself. I mean, have you ever looked into someone's eyes? Like, really _looked_ into them? It's really hard to look away if you do. You should try it sometime.

''Roxas? I brought you some medicine.''

Roxas bolted upright and turned to face Sora, obviously not expecting to see his brother there. ''Oh... Sora. Um, hey.''

Funny how only moments ago, Roxas was spilling his hate to me about Sora and Cloud and his parents and now he was trying to act normal but it was kind of hard because all these different feelings had been boiling up inside him. Talk about awkward.

''You feeling okay?'' Sora asked, leaning down so his face was level with his brother's.

''...Y-yeah, I'll be fine. Thanks.''

''No prob,'' Sora said, grinning. He stood up, hands behind his head. ''Hope you feel better bro.''

''I'll keep an eye on him,'' I said before Roxas could even answer.

''Okay, cool.'' And with that, Sora left.

Roxas blinked at the door and then at me. ''What? Hey, why did you-?''

I leaned up, my lips only millimeters from his and he instantly shut up and looked away, blushing up a storm. Well, that was highly amusing.

''Okay munchkin, medicine,'' I said, ruffling his hair.

Roxas glared at me but said nothing.

Well now, I take it that Roxas has a sensitive stomach to medicine because right after I _finally_ managed to shove that goddamn spoon in his mouth and he swallowed, he nearly gagged. I mean, like, I hate medicine too, but he turned so pale that I thought he was going to pass out again or something. And then he downed a bottle of water.

''Don't _ever_,'' he finally spat out, ''_ever,_ make me take that stuff _ever_ again!''

''Hahaha, Rox, you shoulda seen your face!''

His response was a comforter thrown in my face.

''Alright, I see how it is,'' I said with mock hurt, wrapping the blanket around me and sitting down on the floor.

I was instantly introduced to Roxas signature pout.

''Aaaxeellll, I'm _cold _now''

''Well, you should've thought about it _before_ you threw it at me,'' was my smug reply.

''It's nice to share.''

''Well, I'm not that nice.''

''C'm_oooon_! Ax-oof!''

I had reached out for his wrists and pulled him toward me, his small body landing in my lap.

''Are you feeling any better, Rox?''

''Y-yeah, a little...''

I pulled him against my chest and wrapped the blanket around the both of us. Partially to warm him up, partially to piss him off, and partially for my own enjoyment.

''Axel! Let go!'' Roxas wailed, squirming. Which only made me hold onto him tighter.

''Hey, kid, you _did_ say you were cold.''

Roxas sighed, defeated, and leaned against me. And pushed me to the floor...

''Oops..''

''It's okay. I kinda like this position.''

''... LET GO OF ME!''

''Okay, okay, if you don't like it we could try... this...''

I effectively flipped Roxas over and pinned his wrists to the floor.

And then... man... I don't get how he did it but I think he somehow managed to pull one of my arms forward making me roll over on my shoulder and he used the momentum to end up on top of me.

''...What... the _hell..._''

And Roxas just sat on top of me, knees holding down my hips and his hands pressing against my wrists, grinning his ass off.

''Axel,'' he leaned over to whisper in my ear, ''I have a few tricks up my sleeve too...''

... Oh god... bad thoughts, BAD THOUGHTS! STOP THINKING! Great... now I'm going to be walking around with a hard-on all fucking day... _great..._

''Look, normally, I wouldn't mind you sitting on top of me. But one: you're sitting on my _empty_ stomach, which fucking hurts. And two: I don't think you want to know what this is doing to the rest of my body.''

Roxas only smirked, pushing his hips down slightly.

Okay! Personal space being violated! See the little red flag going up? See it? There! There it goes!

''O-okay, wh-who are you and what have you done with R-Roxas?'' I said, flinching at the sudden pressure.

Something in his brain must have died because the Roxas I know wouldn't be doing this right now. Maybe if I smacked him upside the head...?

And he just _burst_ out laughing all of a sudden. He only rarely laughed but I was in love with it already. For being seventeen, he could sure pass off as someone much younger. Seriously.

My hands found their way to the back of Roxas's neck as I pulled him down but he pulled away.

''Nope,'' he said, ''Friends don't make out with other friends.''

''Yeah, well, friends don't try to seduce their other friends.''

Roxas only rolled his eyes.

''Sooo,'' I started, sitting up, ''You admit that we're friends at least?''

''We're not strangers now are we?''

''Ah, point taken.''

We sat in silence for a few moments, me on the floor and him in the couch now. It was awfully quiet but not the uncomfortable sort of silence where you need to say something or do something just to keep your mind off the other person in the room. It was... nice. Nice to not be living alone. Nice to having some company. Nice to let my thoughts stray to someone else besides me. _I was really falling for this kid_. Sure he had started out as a pain in the ass but I could tell he was changing a little every day. I don't think that he was realizing it though.

''Hey... Axel?''

''Mm?''

''Do you think... do you think we could go out?''

I blinked slowly at him. ''Out as in 'out on a date'? Or out as in 'outside'?''

''I meant outside!'' he snapped back quickly.

I turned to face him and he was giving me a look that said ''_Out on a_ _date?_ Are you high?'' But hey, he was blushing. And it was damn cute.

''I'm sure you did,'' I said, smirking. Roxas pouted at me and crossed his arms.

''No, seriously, can we go out as in _outside?_''

''Okay, let's go.''

Roxas blinked at me. ''At least let me change! I'm not gonna go walking around in my nightclothes.''

''Why not?'' I asked, quirking an eyebrow.

He let out a frustrated growl and pointed at me. ''You. Change. Now.''

''So you're not changing then?''

''You- Just- Agh forget you!'' He threw his hands up and stormed into his room.

Ah, it was so much fun pushing his buttons.

x.x.x

''Nice clothes, kid.''

''What's wrong with them?''

I laughed. ''Nothing, nothing. Just a compliment.''

And he really did look fine. He was wearing these sick-awesome pants that were black from belt to knees and white the rest of the way down and a black, sleeveless, zip-up shirt.

So I decided to be lame and threw on a pair of loose jeans and some random green t-shirt I found hanging in the closet.

Okay, whatever.

As we walked out the door, I heard Roxas call ''Don't forget to lock the door.'' He was already halfway down the hall. Jeez, he was fast.

''Hey, I think I can remember to lock my own apartment! Hey! Wait UP!''

I jogged up behind him as he casually walked down the stairs next to me.

''Why not take the elevator?'' I asked him, finally falling into his pace.

''Got stuck in one once. 'Sides, this is healthier,'' he stated simply.

''Oh. So why the sudden urge to get out?''

Roxas shrugged and turned to me. ''Just... y'know, it's still pretty warm, even in late November, but it's still getting colder so why not go out while we still can?''

We both pushed the door open and a chilly blast of air greeted us.

''So where you wanna go?''

Roxas shrugged again at me. ''Anywhere. Around...''

I grinned and grabbed his hand running down the street toward the plaza. The good part was that Roxas didn't resist. The downside was that we nearly crashed into some little brunette girl and her dog. Scratch that. Roxas did.

''Oh! Are you okay?'' she girl asked. While I was beside myself laughing so hard.

Roxas looked up from the ground and frowned at me as the girl's Dalmatian ran circles around him. ''My bum hurts...''

I actually started crying from laughing so hard.

''Axel, shut up! It was your fault anyway!''

The little brunette blinked at us and went to grab the Dalmatian's collar. ''Sorry about Shigure. He's excited.''

''Oh no, don't be. It was all _Roxa-_''

''_Axel! You were the one dragging me!_''

I snickered and held him back as he tried to hit me.

''Calm down! Don't fight!'' the girl said through her laughs. ''It was no one's fault. Okay?''

Roxas huffed and crossed his arms, not looking my way.

''C'mon, Roxas, don't be like that,'' I teased, poking his side.

''I have every right to be.''

''Well,'' the girl began, ''I take it you're Axel and _you're_ Roxas. I'm Selphie!'' She beamed at us and rocked back and forth on her heels.

''I take it we are,'' I said, smirking.

''Watcha doin' out here?''

''Well we _were_ walking!'' Roxas snapped at me.

''Don't mind him,'' I said. ''Kid's got anger issues.''

''I do n-''

''Well, Selphie, we'll be seeing you. My friend here might spontaneously combust from embarrassment or something of the sort.''

''Alright. Seeya!'' She ran off down the street with her dog barking at her heels.

I could tell Roxas wanted me dead now. Dead and in a well. But toying with him was like taking drugs. Only this wasn't dangerous to my health in any way. Unless, of course, Roxas got so fed up with me that he decided to slip poison into my water.

I smirked and reached for his hand. ''C'mon, Rox.''

He simply pouted and let me pull him along.

The city's plaza was a favorite among people. They did everything here. Blading, sports, parties, parades, you name it. There was also this huge fountain smack in the middle. It was useful for concerts. You could stand on the edge to see over people's heads. Of course, you'd have to watch to keep from falling back into the water. And it wasn't just one of those fountains that when you look into the water all you see is concrete, or coins. This one actually had fish in them and lily pads larger than my head. Like, twice as large. Who knew who took care of all this, but hey, it was there wasn't it?

Roxas pulled away from me and sat down on the stone edge and pulled his legs up.

''So, Roxas, what college do you plan applying for?'' The only reason I asked was because... well... I forget, but I could've sworn I had a reason... Oh, yes, entrance exams were coming up early next year. Spring, I think.

He shrugged and dragged his hand through the water. ''I dunno. Maybe Traverse or Trinity. But those are hard to get into. Especially Traverse.''

''Well, what were your high school grades like?''

''Mostly A's, some B's...''

''Ohh, so we've got a smart one here.''

''So yeah. But... I don't know how I'll come up with the money for it. And... I'm sorta having trouble finding a job at the moment.''

I found myself rolling my eyes at him. ''_Jeeez_, Roxas, you should've said something sooner. Okay, look. I work two part time jobs. One is already full. But the other still has a space open if you're interested.''

''Depends what it is...'' he said, giving me a sort of wary glance. ''Better not be something crazy...''

''This girl I know, Aerith, owns a restaurant down in the Second District. I could show you later if you'd like. Not restaurant. Café I mean.''

''Yeah, thanks,'' he said, smiling. ''That'll be a lot of help.''

''That's what I'm here for. So Traverse, huh?''

''Well, I'd go to the one in Twilight Town if I still lived there. That one's not as hard to get into but I move around a lot and as you can see, right now, I'm nowhere near Twilight Town. And Trinity is a second option.''

''So you planning on moving anytime soon?'' I asked, feeling slightly disappointed.

''...Not unless you want me to,'' he said, his gaze fixed on me.

''So far, no regrets,'' I said softly.

Roxas smiled and eyes wandered to the water and he stretched out a hand to poke at a lily pad. I couldn't help but grin.

''What are _you_ looking at?'' he asked. His head was resting on his knees and his bangs had fallen over his eyes and the lily was spread out in his hand... and just..

''Nothing... you just look friggin' _adorable._''

His face steadily turned pink and he looked back at the water. I sighed contently and leaned my head back to look at the clear sky. I flinched when I felt something against my cheek. Something cold. And wet.

It took a few moments for me to realize that Roxas had his hand pressed up against the side of my face. His expression was unreadable but he was looking right at me. Water splashed into my face again.

''Hey! What the hell?'' I grumbled, wiping my face with the collar of my shirt.

Roxas only grinned and flicked more water at me. So I leaned back to avoid it but... um... ended up going a _bit_ too far back. And I made Roxas tumble in with me.

I took one look at him and burst out laughing. He was clinging to the side of the pool, in the water from the chin down. And... there was a fish... stuck in his hood...

''I can't... fucking believe this...'' Roxas grumbled. He reached a hand back into his shirt and grabbed the fish by the tail, flinging it back into the water.

-- - -- - - -- - -- - -  
.x.Roxas.x.

We had to get back to the apartment so we could change into dry clothes. I didn't have a problem with walking down the street while _freezing my ass off_ and having people _stare at me. _Oh_ no._ I had no problem with that. Right.

Well, anyway, when we finally arrived at the door, Axel spent about ten minutes trying to dig the key from his pockets.

''C'mon, c'mon,'' I urged, feeling quite unhappy. ''Before I catch pneumonia.''

''Keep your shirt on,'' Axel retorted with a roll of his eyes. '''Y'know, we wouldn't be in this mess if you hadn't been flicking water at me.''

''And _I_ wouldn't be in this mess if you hadn't dragged me into the water,'' I huffed, crossing my arms.

''Well, now you know better, ne?''

''Pfft, 'know better' my ass. _Did you find the key yet?_''

''You don't have to shout! I'm not deaf!''

''Fuck you! Open the damn door already!''

''Yeah, that's right. Fuck me. That's nice.'' Axel added something on under his breath but I didn't bother listening.

The lock clicked and I barreled past him into the warmth of the apartment and instantly went in search of a towel. Axel was still muttering, but it's not my problem that he nearly lost his key in his own pants, now is it?

Axel was cussing by now as he towel-dried his hair.

''You wanna say 'fuck' one more time?'' I snapped, turning to face him.

''FUCK,'' he said, rolling his eyes at me.

We both ''hmph''ed at each other and turned away. We didn't talk to each other for about ten minutes before Axel finally said, ''Alright, c'mon shortstuff... we're going to Aerith's.''

''Yeah, whatever,'' I huffed. I didn't even bother making a retort for his ''shortstuff'' comment.

''I- wait Axel...''

Roxas what're you doing? I was asking myself. But the words were spilling out against my own will before I even _knew_ what I was saying.

''Listen... sorry for bitching like that. I mean, I started it anyway, but it was just a little fun.'' I shrugged. Axel was looking straight at me as he leaned against a wall. ''...and I just killed it. So... once again, sorry.''

Wow. Me? Apologizing? Wow.

Oh, no, don't get me wrong, I'm not a heartless bastard. I'm just... usually slow to apologize. Blame my stubborn streak.

He was still glaring at me with icy eyes before his expression softened. He came over and ruffled my hair and I ducked down out of reflex.

''Heh, I can't stay mad at you, kiddo.''

''Stop calling me 'kid'!'' I wailed, resisting the urge to stomp my foot on the ground like a five-year-old.

''But you're so _short._''

''Am _not!_''

''Are _too._''

''_Axel!_''

''Roxas!''

I could only let out a frustrated growl. ''That's it. I take back my apology.''

Axel only crossed his arms and smiled smugly at me. ''Well, I already forgave you so you're too late. But, y'know, I think you owe me something for having me take you to Aerith's.''

I rolled my eyes and leaned against the kitchen counter. ''What, you want me to make you breakfast for a week or something?''

''That'd be nice but, last time I checked, your cooking SUCKS.''

''Well, gee, thanks for putting it so nicely.''

''No prob. Anyway, you owe me something else then.''

Normally, if someone said I owed them for something simple like getting a job, I would've hit them upside the head with a frying pan. Buuuuuut, I felt generous today so I gave in to it.

''Okay, fine. What do I owe you?''

I should've ran the _second_ I saw that smirk and the glint in his eyes. Hell, I should've ran until I hit the next city. But instead, I remained rooted to my spot as Axel pinned me to the counter behind me.

His face was so close to mine. I was so tempted to just lean forward and... close the distance between us... I gave myself a mental smack upside the head for thinking this way. But his warm breath was already whisking across my cheek and down my jaw. His tongue was hot against my neck and-... w-w-wait a sec!

I practically shoved him away, feeling the heat rise to my cheeks like little flames. I think I saw Axel smirk before he moved away to the door, hands behind his head.

''_O_kay, let's go.''

I followed, keeping my eyes to the wall rather than in front of me... or Axel. He was talking but I only started listening after the first few sentences.

''There's a few things you'll need to know. One: Aerith's a nice person. Like, inhumanely nice. But don't push her buttons 'cause I swear, she'll kick your ass. Two: Most of her employees are her friends. And around my age. And there's a couple who are a _little_ too hyper at most times, but don't get scared. They don't bite. Three: She likes a good appearance. So even if you come in with ripped jeans and a shirt, at _least_ comb your hair and brush your teeth and stuff. Well... your hair is sorta... Anyway! Four: You don't always have to be at work. It depends on how many people are there and/or how much you want to get paid. There's probably more, but you'll get into the flow. So that's the basic picture. Got it memorized?''

I just stared at him with wide eyes and mouth slightly agape. Hell, I even stopped walking somewhere around the ''They don't bite'' part.

''Earth to Roxas,'' Axel laughed, waving his hand in front of my face. ''Say something or I'll have to kiss you.''

''What? **NO!**'' I screeched, suddenly turning a _very_ bright red. I think the heat was radiating from my face.

''Aw look, you're blushing all over the place today.'' He ruffled my hair. ''Let's go, Shorty.''

''_AXEL!_''

''Okay, okay... sunshine.''

I've been down to the Second District a few a times. But I never really paid attention to it. It was the more old-fashioned part of town, with the old bookstores and other small shops... and, um, a bit more... _rundown._ Further into the district, near some weirdo antique shop that I didn't even bother looking at was an old-looking building with peeling, pale pink paint. The words _Café du Aerith_ were engraved into the wall in what looked like gold. A few circular tables were situated near the windows with red and white umbrellas sticking from the middle.

''Here we are,'' Axel said, tilting his head back. ''It's sorta like my second home, actually. I never liked working at the mall, but Demyx is there so...'' He trailed off and shrugged. But he made no move to go in.

''Gonna wait for the grass to grow?'' I asked.

''Oh, right.'' Axel laughed nervously and took me by the wrist and pulled me in.

The minute I walked in, I was already feeling comfortable. Like, you know that feeling when you go somewhere new but the place just gives off this sorta... aura? And you can actually breathe normally without having your eyes dart around nervously?

So.

The inside was much nicer than the outside. I'm not saying the outside looked bad...

There were small circular tables for couples and larger tables for more people. Dark red lamps hung over each table casting an orange glow over the dark wood. And I just looked around and thought it was nice and some blonde-headed girl with an unbelievable number of braids in her hair bounded over to Axel and me.

''Axel!'' she shouted, hands planted firmly on her hips. ''How can I enjoy _my_ day when you're here on you're day off? There is no logic in that I tell you! Absolutely none! Now go away.''

''Nuh-uh,'' Axel said, winking at the girl and slinging an arm over my shoulders. I tried to duck but he simply pulled me closer to him. I had to use practically all my willpower to keep my face from going red. ''It's an important mission, Rikku dear.''

I rolled my eyes.

''Roxas here needs a job. 'Cause he's a good kid like that.'' Axel ruffled my hair and pushed me forward as I grumbled back at him.

''Roxas, Rikku. Rikku, Roxas''

I looked up at the girl. I couldn't tell if she was just taller or older or both but she had a sweet face and twinkling green eyes. Either way, I felt shy, just like always.

Time to take a step forward.

''Um... hi?''

''AW YOU'RE SO CUTE!'' She squealed and threw her arms around me, crushing my lungs.

Wrong step.

So I struggled to free myself and she wouldn't let go and I was getting pissed and there was gonna be some stabbing involved if this girl didn't _let go of me!_

Axel finally came to my rescue by prying the both of us apart... _with a crowbar._

''Well, I'm gonna get back to work!'' Rikku chirped and bounded off.

I gave Axel a look and he shrugged at me.

''Looks like you have that effect,'' Axel said, laughing slightly. ''Anyway, c'mon. You need to meet Aerith.''

We both walked into the back and down a hallway. There was a large door, painted dark green, with the words '' : Aerith : '' across it. Axel pulled me inside by the wrist. He seemed to be doing that a lot lately.

A tall-looking woman with braided brown hair was sitting behind a desk and talking to another, younger girl with black hair and charcoal eyes. The younger one couldn't seem to stop bouncing on her heels.

''No more goofing off okay?'' I heard Aerith say.

The short-haired girl nodded and turned to walk out, pausing for only a second to glance at me.

''...xas? Roxas?''

It took me a moment to figure Aerith was talking to me. Axel must've told her my name. That or she reads minds.

I looked down, slightly embarrassed and then looked back up, meeting her gaze. ''Can I have a job?'' I asked, going straight to the point. Yep. That's me. Wasting no time.

Aerith twirled a pen in her fingers as her eyes raked up and down me. ''Experience?''

''None... But I'm a fast learner...?'' I said hopefully. I've had lots of jobs. But not as a busboy. Or whatever.

Aerith stood up from her desk and walked around me, her eyes glued to me the whole time. I felt the heat rise to my cheeks. You all probably know that feeling. Like when you suddenly go from middle school to high school and you can't find any of your friends and you end up walking to your class alone. It's like walking through the halls naked. Yeah that feeling.

A few moments later Aeirth exited the room and came back with a bag in her hands.

''Your uniform,'' she said, smiling. ''You start tomorrow. And don't worry. Uniform's only for holidays.''

-- - - -- -- - - - -- - -- -  
.x.Axel.x.

You wanna know something I learned about Roxas? Before I start, I just want to point out that it was Rikku and Yuffie's fault. Really. AND they kept us late. VERY late. Like, dark outside kind of late.

Anyway...

Roxas makes an adorable drunk. Seriously.

''Rox, I think you might've had a bit too much to drink,'' I stated as he continued to cling to my side. I practically had to drag him along.

''Too much... is never enough,'' he slurred, burying his face in my side and smiled. Actually, he didn't even slur his words all that much. But he hadn't let go of me ever since we left.

I dragged him a bit more before he stumbled and fell on his knees. He obviously found that extremely funny because he suddenly burst into a fit of giggles.

He was totally wasted. In his own weird little way...

''Rox?'' I said, raising an eyebrow at him.

Roxas giggled even harder, now clinging to my leg.

I couldn't help but laugh. This kid was something else, really. It was like he suddenly became a totally different person. Well, the alcohol would answer that but you know what I mean. He can be so bipolar.

...Yes, I'm enjoying this.

''Ax?'' he asked me through a yawn. ''I... I can' -hic- stand... Help me.''

''Sure, kiddo,'' I said, lifting him to his feet.

''An'... an' dun call me 'kiddo'...'' Roxas mumbled, punching my shoulder lightly.

I only rolled my eyes in response and slid an arm behind his back and under his knees, easily lifting him up.

''Sunshine, sunshine...''

Roxas smiled at that and snuggled up against my chest. I felt myself blush.

Woah... wait, what was that?

_I felt myself blush._

Huh. Odd. I don't blush. But, here I was, with a totally adorable Roxas snuggling up to me and still drunk and now fast asleep. I swear, he's gonna wake up with a hangover no matter what. I don't think I want to be around him when that happens.

Okay, carrying Roxas to the apartment was one thing, but carrying him _up the stairs _was another. I _could_ take the elevator, but, uh, I was sort of wary about it now...

I stared up at the apartment complex and sighed. Might as well as get it over with.

Shifting Roxas in my arms a bit to make it easier for me I managed to finally open the door... by kicking it. Yeah, that's how skilled I am.

After some while and a bit of painful progress (I nearly fell down the stairs) I finally shouldered the apartment door open and trudged in. I walked into Roxas's room and put him down on the bed, tucking the blanket around him and all that.

I myself felt totally spent and went to crash on my bed. I didn't even bother throwing my clothes off. Just as I was about to fall asleep, the loud, bullet-like sound of rain against the windows woke me back up. I rolled over on my stomach and tried to tune in to some other sound. My own breathing...

Until I heard Roxas groan from his room. It seems as though my hearing was more acute than I thought. Considering I couldn't fall asleep anyway, I stood up and made my way to Roxas's room. He was sitting upright on his bed with his head in his hands.

''Something wrong, Rox?'' I asked, sitting down on the edge of the bed next to him.

It took a few minutes before he finally responded though. ''My head is _killing _me...''

''Wanna take a painkiller?''

''Want me to upchuck my stomach?''

''...I see. Well if you won't take medicine, I suggest you stop complaining like you're dying and shut your mouth.''

Roxas pouted at me and grumbled under his breath. I reached out to pull him close so his body rested on mine. He sighed, one hand massaging his temples.

I smiled down at him, burying my face in his blonde locks. ''...Rox, listen... Hear the rain?''

Roxas nodded against my chest and pulled away suddenly. He crawled across his bed and pushed the window open. My apartment was high up and the bedrooms faced the city, so anyone could get a clear view of it from here.

Roxas leaned half of his body out the window, holding on to the ledge with nothing but his fingertips. I rested my elbows against the windowsill next to him just to make sure he wouldn't fall out. Roxas had his mouth open, catching the raindrop on his tongue, others clinging to his face and eyelashes and dripping from his hair.

I knew what he was doing but either way, I asked, ''What're you doin'?''

His response only confused me slightly.

''...Catching the stars.''

x.x.x

**Shugo:** Well, thats the end of this chapter.

i'm sorry if this switching between points of views is getting on your nerves. but its the only way i can seem to write it. i'm planning on making the next chapter come just from Roxas. I've been thinking about going back into 3rd person POV but that might throw things off. So Roxas it is.

I've already started chapter 7 so I hope I can finish it quicker. :)

review?


	7. o7 : happy holidays, you bastard

**Shugo: **ohmegaaahd ((dies)) this... is SO past overdue... this is like.. a CHRISTMAS chapter and it's almost the end of january! ((gets shot))

Okay, seriously, chapter six waslike... the corniest... gayest... cheesiest thing i've ever written.  
AHAHAHALOLOLOL ((dies))  
maybe it wasn't. whatever your opinion is.

thanks for reviewing at least XD

Well... hope this chapter isn't as bad as the last. Roxas was fun to write. Like, seriously :D

Though... there is some pretty pointless information...

hey, what can I say? I went a little overboard.

if anyone finds any mistakes.. i am SO gonna

go back to fix them XDDD

oh yeeeeaaaaaaaah. new beta reader! :DDDD  
**Lorien Moore** you are too amazing for doing

this and putting up with my insanity at the same

time. i totally love you. ((chocolate falls from sky))

-- - - -- - - - -- - -  
sunshine _in_ a **bag**

CHAPTER o7 : happy holidays, you bastard

_''I'm wrecking this evening already and loving every minute of it,  
ruining this banquet for the mildly inspiring and...''  
_-Panic! At The Disco **'There's A Reason These Tables Are Numbered, Honey. You Just Haven't Thought Of It Yet.'**__

.x.Roxas.x.

After that night, things slowed down.

To me, it felt like everything stopped in its tracks.

November quickly worked its way far into December. A few day before Christmas actually. And it seemed like I was in an idle state while everything else speeded by me. I think the relationship between Axel and I slowed down too. Not that we really had one to begin with but, y'know, friendship-wise I guess. I think we drifted apart, even a little. Exams were coming up in maybe three-four months but I had already started studying for them. Donneven give me that look. I like a head start, okay? Is that OKAY with you? Yeah, thought so.

Anyway...

Amazingly as it seems, Axel had stopped trying to start up random make-out sessions with me. That is, _after_ that one time he tried to seduce me in the restaurant's broom closet.

...But we won't get into that right now, now will we?

Speaking of the restaurant, Axel was right. After the first couple of days, I was already into the flow of how things worked there. There was that one time when Yuffie was carrying empty wine glasses. Apparently, the party she was serving drank all the wine and then complained that they had asked for iced-tea. Bunch of assholes, right? Anyway, I was walking to the table she had been serving moments ago with plates of soup on a serving platter in one hand and a pitcher in the other. The iced-tea. I half-expected the party to say they wanted the tea, just not iced. Well, they seemed to really have pissed Yuffie off and she wasn't paying attention where she was going so we nearly had a head-on collision. She had stumbled and flew forward. _At me_. So I swerved to the left and had to practically spin around her. Rikku had, by that time, run forward and was catching falling wine glasses. And I simply stared back at them while a few other workers whistled. Axel included.

Yuffie had said that if this job ever became a pain in the ass, I would be amazing at catering. I just shrugged the way I usually do when I receive compliments.

Well, back to Axel.

So, last night, Axel had chased me around the apartment using a piece of broccoli and cornered me in his room.

NO, _nothing_ happened. Honest. Would I lie to you?

_I'm serious._

But here I was, lying awake in Axel's bed at six in the morning with his arms wrapped loosely around my waist.

Okay, okay. So maybe I lied to you a little. A _little. _Everything really _had _slowed down. Until he started trying to seduce me again, that is... which was last night.

I nearly had a heart attack when I had realized where I was. But I kept quiet because if I had woken Axel up, my heart would start running a race and I'd have a heart attack _and _a coma. Despite the fact that things between us slowed down and stopped, my feelings for Axel decided to accelerate unbelievably.

Yes, I admit that _I_, Roxas, actually have feelings for _him,_ Axel.

Please, feel free to shoot me.

Yeah, I was trying to hard to prevent this when Axel was at it, but now that Axel stopped doing anything to me, I guess it allowed my feelings to get stronger. I don't get it either. I mean, how the fuck can you get closer so someone you've been trying to push away? And here I was, blushing up a storm.

But honest to goodness, I couldn't tell him how I felt. All those things he had done to me... he was teasing. I could tell he was just tugging at my emotions and pushing my buttons. I must say, I miss the constant teasing. If he hadn't stopped, I wouldn't be in this situation right now. Damn him.

...Jesus, I'm starting to sound like a girl.

I sighed an managed to turn myself on my side and away from him. I didn't want to see his face now, I didn't want to see his face when he woke. I just plain didn't want to look at him even though I knew it wouldn't help me in any way, shape or form.

''Rox, look this way.'' I jumped, making a leap off the bed, but Axel arms were still secured around my waist. So technically, all I managed to do was _flail._ And let me tell you, that will get you no where.

I huffed in frustration and turned to face his way. ''Yes?'' I asked, using quite a lot of willpower to keep myself from blushing.

Axel only looked at me with a puzzled expression. I gave him the same look back.

''Tell me again why you're in my bed?''

''...You were chasing me around the house with veggies.''

''...Oh yeah. Y'know... Roxas... I had put down the fork _long_ before I began running after you.''

I only blinked slowly at him. ''Really.''

''Yep. Well, anyway, lie back down. It's still early and I want my pillow back.''

''What are you-'' But before I was able to finish my sentence Axel had already pulled me back down and was using me as a makeshift pillow.

Do I look like I'm stuffed with feather's to you? No. Didn't think so.

I sighed. I shifted around. I sighed even louder. I squirmed around some more.

''Will you _quit_ that?'' Axel mumbled.

''Or what?''

''Or this.''

He was suddenly on top of me holding my wrists above my head and straddling my hips. I merely squirmed without too much enthusiasm. He'd let me go at some point anyway. So I waited. And waited some more...

Okay, I've been waiting for about five minutes already and I think I lost all feeling in my legs and arms.

''Do you mind?'' I had meant it to be more intimidating and mean but my voice just wasn't up to it this early in the morning so it came out as a simple question. Even Axel raised his eyebrows.

He smiled at me and lightly bonked me on the head. ''Sure thing, sunshine.''

I rolled my eyes at the nickname, not even bothering to fight it anymore... I think I'm getting attached. I rolled off the bed and promptly fell to the floor where my left knee made contact with the floor. I winced visibly and let out some sort of half-assed whimper, holding my leg as I sat on the floor.

''What was _that,_ Roxas?'' Axel questioned, his head poking over the edge of the bed.

''Well, you have just witnessed one of the most clumsiest just-woke-up people on earth.''

''Ah. _That's_ what you are. Compared to me, then I must be the most _coordinated_ person on earth.''

Sighing, I rolled my eyes at him again. ''I'm so sure.''

I stood up making my out of the room. Not before making a quick glance at the window. It's been raining for two weeks already. I'm not even lying. But this time I just had to stop and stare. Fixedly.

''...Axel?''

''Mm?'' he muttered, managing an attempt at getting out of bed.

''C'mere.''

''Give me a good reason.''

I sighed. That was Axel for you. ''Get over here or I'll kick your ass.''

He supposedly found that a good reason because he was already standing next me, staring out the window.

''Now, tell me if I'm seeing right,'' I told him as he squinted at the brightness.

''Snow,'' he breathed. ''It snowed last night...''

I don't what it is about the first snowfall of winter that makes people all excited but all of a sudden Axel and I were whooping and jumping up and down and grinning our asses off.

I pushed open the window and leaned out. My finger met the snow on the ledge and cold air hit my bare chest and I shivered. But, _God,_ it was amazing. It was like someone came through the city last night and painted it white. They were probably cleaning this stuff up already farther into the city. I sighed. It would only be a matter of time before they came here. But holy shit... It was beautiful.

I breathed in, feeling the cold, fresh air (or as fresh as you can get in the city) cracking in my lungs. Boy, that had felt good. Something about the snow just makes everything seem so... new... and clean. Just... wow...

x.x.x

I was sitting on the floor under the window with a pillow behind my back and a pre-test packet on my lap. There wasn't really much to do and whenever I was bored, and it depended on my mood on what I wanted to do. And now... I felt like going through the pre-test. Or... continuing. The packet was fucking huge! Not even joking. Ask Axel. He has one too. Though I have to tell you, I was kind of... surprised when he told me that he'd decided to take an attempt at Traverse and Trinity. But that meant that we might not be going to the same college and-

''Roxas,'' Axel suddenly spoke from the couch where he was watching TV. I looked up at him so fast that I think I heard my neck crack. ''Jeez, what is _up_ with you, man? All I ever see is you with you nose buried in that stupid thing.''

''Yeah? Well, I've only seen you look into it once.''

Axel shrugged. ''So? Doesn't mean I have to take it apart and try to decipher it. Magnifying glass included and all.''

''Well, how else are you supposed to study?'' I asked him, quirking an eyebrow.

''Memorize it. Eventually it all comes back to you.''

''Eventually,'' I repeated.

''Mmmhmm.''

I closed the packet and threw it on the table and sat down next to Axel on the couch.

''Okay, fine,'' I huffed. ''What do you propose we do?''

''You wanna go out later?''

''O-out?'' I choked out, my eyes wide. He. Was. Asking. Me... Out? And he had said it so casually too.

''Yeah, out. Like, y'know, _outside?_'' He looked at me, giving me a cocky grin.

I frowned and hit him hard over the head.

''Easy, man,'' Axel laughed. I crossed my arms stubbornly and turned away from him. Just... aggghhh... he's so _frustrating._

''Yeah,'' he said finally. ''I meant out as in _out on a date._''

I actually looked behind me to check if it really was me he was talking with. Honestly. ''With me?'' I asked, blinking at him.

Axel only laughed and ruffled my hair. ''Yes, with you, silly.''

My jaw literally dropped, I'm not lying. This better have not been some cruel sick joke.

Axel leaned forward, his warm breath hitting my neck. ''So what do ya say?'' he asked me, tilting his head to kiss my jaw. I only looked away, sure that my face color had surpassed red and he gave me a cocky grin. If he kept it up, my face color would permanently change. Yeah, not pretty.

''Sure,'' I said finally, shrugging. Wait... I-what?

''Cool,'' he said, leaning back against the couch and continuing to flick past the channels.

And only a couple of hours later, I found myself walking along the street next to Axel down to Starbucks. And all it's Fritalian glory. Or was that Dunkin' Donuts? Anyway.

''So tell me,'' Axel said as he stirred his coffee with a straw. ''Did you have a recent girlfriend? Like... y'know.. before...''

I nodded, taking gulp of my own coffee and feeling it burn my throat. I coughed a couple of times. ''Before Marluxia? Yeah.''

''What was her name?''

''...Orette. She was one of those girlfriends who was just... well... a _girlfriend._ There was no past to us, and obviously as you can see now, no future.''

This was so weird. Here I was on a date with Axel and he was asking me about my _girlfriend._ Uh-huh...

''What do you mean, just a girlfriend?''

I sighed, thinking of a way to explain. _I_ knew what I was talking about but I wasn't sure how to word it. ''Like... well... we started dating before we even really knew each other. And we learned so much about each other after that. And since we haven't known each other before, there was nothing to lose if something happened. Like... we weren't really friends, I guess. And then we suddenly broke up. Can't remember why though. But... I think... I think I would've like to become a real friend to her.''

''Oh,'' said Axel. And the way he said it made it seem as though he really _did_ understand. ''I think I know what you mean. Like, it's different when you go out with someone you don't know as opposed to your best friend. Something close to that, right?''

''Yeah...'' I replied, smiling slightly. ''Something like that.''

We were quiet for a few more moments before Axel asked, ''Did you like her though?''

''Orette?''

''Duh.''

''Oh, yeah. At one point I was almost convinced that I actually loved her. But... it never worked out.''

That was the last thing that was said before moments of comfortable silence stretched between us. My hands were finally warm enough that I removed my gloves and I reached across the table, my thumbs stroking those diamond-shaped tattoos underneath Axel's eyes. Axel simply grinned and raised his eyebrows in a questioning way.

''Why'd you get em?'' I asked.

He shrugged. ''Ahh, y'know, was pissed at the time. Your normal parent-tries-to-control-teen-with-raging-hormones drama. I guess... I guess I got them because I wanted to show people that I was old enough to make decisions on my own. That, and they're fucking cool.''

We both laughed before someone stepped up to our table. She had on a long winter coat and her blue eyes shone from underneath her blonde bangs which were matted down with a hat.

''Naminé!'' Axel exclaimed so suddenly that I literally jumped. ''What're you doing here?''

She shrugged. ''Hi Axel, Roxas. Just, you know, passing by. I saw you through the window. I was actually on my way to your place, but since you're already here I guess I don't have to... Well, anyway... I was actually gonna tell you that I have a party this Christmas Eve.''

''Oh, okay,'' Axel replied.

Naminé smiled at us. ''Just wanted you guys to know that. Kay? Later you two.'' And with that she turned and left.

I looked at Axel, tilting my head questioningly.

He took a sip of coffee and shrugged. ''Every year, someone throws a Christmas party. Guess it was Nami this time. And like... even though it's the city and stuff, I'm friends with a lot of people who are friends with other people and so on. So I know a lot of people. And we've been doing this since we were little.''

''You've lived here for a while?''

''Since I was born.''

''...Have you ever been to see the ocean?''

''Once,'' he said, leaning back in his chair to look out the window. ''When I was five. My... my mom took me. But I don't remember much...''

''Oh'' was my only reply. I had been in this city for... over two months? But in that one moment I just felt so left out of everything. It actually hurt a bit. I didn't really know anyone. And I couldn't believe Axel had only been to the ocean once and forgot it! It sounded like he was imprisoned here or something.

''So you coming?'' Axel asked, raising an eyebrow at me.

I shrugged and finished the last drops of my coffee which were already cold.

''Some date, huh?'' Axel spoke again, this time with a roll of eyes.

''It was okay,'' I said, laughing softly.

''Yeah, I had an _ecstatic_ time!'' Axel said, waving his arms dramatically.

I could only grin at him. Seriously. ''Ax, I could've cared less how good or bad this date was. I mean... you still asked me out anyway, didn't you? It's the thought that counts, isn't it?''

Axel suddenly leaned over the table, his breath warm against my ear. ''How about I treat you to something better later today?''

...I am _sooo _going to kill him. And _god_ will I enjoy it.

''What do you say Roxas...?'' he whispered, gently nipping at my neck to which I responded to with some half-assed whimper. God, this was so fucking embarrassing... I was _literally_ radiating heat. A-and... as much as I don't want to admit it... I was actually getting _aroused_. Oh god, this isn't happening...

''Shut up, Axel,'' I muttered, pushing him away.

And when we got back home, as much as I thought that he was going to like... rape me or something, he didn't even lay a finger on me.

x.x.x

And so, a few days later...

_Bang bang bang!_

''Roxas? Roxas! Dammit, open this damn door already. GOD! I should've dragged his sorry ass to bed instead of letting him stay up until _seven_... in the morning! ROXAS!''

More banging from outside my door.

''Go away,'' I groaned, turning over on my side.

I hear a series of clicks coming from the door handle. He's actually trying to pick the lock... jeez.

''I said GO AWAY!''

The door suddenly burst open and a very pissed off Axel stormed in.

''Goddamn, this isn't even allowed to be called sleeping in. It's five in the afternoon! FIVE! We're supposed to leave in an _hour_ to Naminé's! This isn't sleeping in! It's a fucking _coma_!''

Axel pulled off my blanket and I simply curled around my pillow. Then he took to pulling me by my arm even though I had the other one hooked around the bedpost.

I heard him 'tsk'ing behind me as he let go of my arm. ''You leave me no choice, Rox.''

I rolled my eyes. Or as much as a person can roll their eyes while they're closed. But I didn't care if I rolled them or not or if my eyes were open or not because I suddenly felt Axel's hand.

...In my pants.

''JESUS CHRIST AXEL! WHAT THE FUCK!''

He just gave me a semi-perplexed look and shrugged. ''Hey, I did say that you left me no choice. Now get your ass out of bed or I'll do it again.''

Yeah, that made me wake up. I kept grumbling even as I brushed my teeth and dressed in a pair of jeans and a dark green t-shirt that looked like it was splattered with white paint. And then came the problem where I couldn't find a sweatshirt. I had like... FIVE. There was no way they could all be in the laundry. So I checked anyway. They were.

''Axel?'' I called, poking my head into his room. He was just pulling on a shirt.

''Mm?''

''Do you have a sweatshirt I can borrow?''

''Yes but you can't.''

''But _Axel!_''

''Jeez, Rox! Calm down, I'm _joking._''

My vision suddenly darkened as he threw a dark brown sweatshirt at me. I pulled it off my face and over my head. The sleeves had little holes for the thumbs.

''You can have it if you like,'' he said, looking at me. ''It's too small for me now anyway.''

''Thanks...'' I mumbled, playing with the drawstrings... Wait a sec... ''Too small? Hey! Just what are you implying!'' It might've been ''too small'' for him,'' but on me it was a bit big.

Axel only chuckled and threw his car keys at me. ''Here. Go start the car, I'll be down in a bit. And remember. Red Acura. Not blue. _Reeeeeeed._''

''Shut up!'' I snapped, stomping out the door.

I think you can get what he's saying. And if you don't by now, I hate you and won't explain it or talk to you ever, ever again. Hmph.

It took me a couple of tries to get the key in the lock since my hands were shaking from the cold. After I finally got it (six tries!) I sat myself down in the driver's seat. I've only been in Axel's car once and that was when we went to get groceries. But that was the time I offered to come along. _And_ it was the time I was completely exhausted from work and ended up crashing the second I sat down. Yay.

I stuck the key in the ignition and turned it, hearing the engine roar to life. Speaking of roaring engines, you should've heard it when you switched gears. Here was this tiny car that could wake up whole neighborhoods. I swear! I haven't ever actually _driven_ this car though. I pretty much forgot how to drive stick. So I was going to take my chance this time.

I finally heard a door creak open and snap shut and seconds later Axel was tapping on my window.

''You got a permit, kid?''

I nodded. Another few seconds later, he was getting into the passenger's seat.

Um... wow. I never actually thought that he'd let me drive.

''Uhh, h-how do we get there exactly?'' Didn't think of that now did we, Roxas?

''Route 5, exit 37, 65 Speno Lane,'' he replied smoothly, closing his eyes and leaning back against the seat.

''Oh.'' Okay. Now we know that.

...Now let's see if I can remember how to back up.

I pushed down the brake, let go of the emergency brake, pushed down the clutch and shifted into Reverse. Setting a foot on the acceleration I eased my other foot off the clutch. The engine stopped once on me before I managed to get out of the parking lot and out onto the road.

''Not bad, Rox,'' Axel said. It was then that I realized he had been watching me the whole time.

''Eh, I forgot everything already,'' I said, shrugging.

''Anything else you forgot how to do?''

I pouted, glancing at him. ''Why do you want to know?''

''Curious.''

I tapped the steering wheel, thinking for a few minutes. ''I forgot how to play guitar... How to sing, even though I'm a horrible singer anyway.''

Axel cut me off with a laugh. ''Well, when we get to Naminé's I'm gonna have to make you play something for me. Her brother has a guitar.''

''She has a brother?''

''Some blonde dude named Seifer.''

''...Some blonde dude.''

''Yep. Some blonde dude. So, what do you play? Do you, like, make up your own stuff?''

''Nah,'' I said, shaking my head. Passed exit 23. ''I like listening to different bands and picking up on the melodies and once I have that down, the lyrics. Heh, in high school, me and a bunch of my buddies would always throw shows in our school gym or our garage. It was fun...''

''So what songs did you play?''

''...Lots.''

''Name them.''

''But that's too many!'' I huffed.

''From the top of your head?''

Okay, it was getting hard trying to concentrate on the road while a list of song floated through my head. Exit 24...

''Um... well, we did a lot by Fallout Boy and Panic! At The Disco... some by October Fall... uhh some by Sugarcult... some others that I can't remember... and... oh, we did, like, two songs from Story Of The Year 'cause I only knew two songs by them.''

''That's pretty cool- _Roxas, concentrate on the road!_'' Axel hissed at me and turned the steering wheel himself.

''S-sorry...'' I mumbled after we avoided a near-collision with a mini-van.

''S'okay,'' Axel said, ruffling my hair lightly. I felt his hand linger on top of my head for a moment before he pulled away, the warmth going too. ''...You're just probably a little sleepy, that's all. Either that, or you're thinking too much. Don't hurt yourself now.''

''I'll kill you. I'll fucking stop this car in the middle of the highway and kill you,'' I dead-panned.

''Sure, Roxy,'' he said, waving a hand dismissively.

Rolling my eyes, I turned my attention back to the road as we were both enveloped in silence. The streetlamps blinked on finally when the stars began to appear. Funny, it was cloudy this morning, but the night sky was clear. I was actually glad that I had someone to spend Christmas with. In all my other years, I'd stay with a roommate for about a week, two weeks tops. So I never really got to know anyone. Not like I wanted to know them anyway. Just... some people in this world are total bastards and we can't do anything about them except imagine them burning in the deep fiery pits of hell.

...Wow. That's deep.

But... Axel was different. He came up to me first and tried to get me to open up... and I did. Slowly, but I did. And I still am. He still doesn't know everything about me and I still don't know everything about him. Maybe we'll never find out. Maybe we just need some time. But out of all the people... I'm happy it was Axel. He's just so... likeable. Everything about him is. I don't know how it can be _everything,_ but if you ever meet one of these sort of people that you totally like, like everything about them, from their hair style to their sense of fashion to their personality, then you'll know. That's the person you love everything about. There's one other reason... but... I'll just wait to say it to him. HAH, you don't know. And I do. So, NAH. Right...

''Exit, Rox. We're gonna pass it.''

I blinked. The exit was slowly coming up while I was on the other side of the highway. There was no way I was going to make it to the other side without missing the exit. Hunh.. I looked around a bit to catch sight of any hiding police cars. None.

''Hold on,'' I muttered. I pushed down on the brake and managed to swerve in behind the car in the lane next to us. After that, it was just a matter of slipping in the right places. I caught Axel looking at me again, grinning.

''What?'' I asked with a quirked eyebrow as the car slowed at a red light.

He shook his head and chuckled. ''Nuthin.''

x.x.x

''Roxas! Axel! You came! I almost started thinking you wouldn't be coming.''

Naminé grinned at us, practically bouncing up and down on her feet. ''Well, don't just stand there! C'mon in. You look cold.''

I nodded and proceeded inside shakily. It was _freezing_ out and I didn't even wear a coat. So, beside the fact that I was freezing my ass off, we were here... at Naminé's... FINALLY. We-I literally passed the street six times. And then the house twice. I don't see how though. It was the biggest house on the street! A mansion. Literally.

Once we were inside I looked around. All of the walls were either white or warm cream colors. The ceiling was high and smack in the center hung a dripping chandelier. And the people... I only recognized about...a fifth of them. Great.

Naminé sure did know a lot of people.

Anyway, she showed me around a bit. It was your typical house. Except with more rooms. And furniture. And room. And... yeah.

Whatever. Ignore my mood. I don't particularly like being in big crowds. Especially when I know so few people.

Anyway, there's not much to tell. Christmas music was blasting somewhere farther in the living room, people were dancing or going in and out of the kitchen. Guess I couldn't find solitude in there. To make it even worse, Axel drifted off somewhere and I couldn't see him.

A squealing, flying blob of blonde instantly brought me from my thoughts.

''R_ox_as!'' said the... blob... clinging to me.

''Rikku... I... can't breathe...!'' I gasped out, feeling her constricting arms blocking my air passage.

''Oh! Haha, sorry, sorry!'' she said, quickly letting me go. I rubbed my neck a few times, catching my breath.

''You enjoying yourself?'' she asked. I dunno. Was I? For some odd reason, I just wanted to get the hell out of here. But... Rikku was with me at the moment soooo... I guess it wasn't _that_ bad.

''Um.. yeah. It's not to bad. Listen, have you seen Axel?''

Rikku shook her head no. ''Saw him a few minutes ago. He's around here somewhere, though!'' Yeah, like the thought would make me feel better. Not really.

And just like that, she skipped away somewhere. I had only blinked and she was gone. Great.

So I took to spending about half an hour leaning against the wall, having people I didn't know come up to me saying they heard about me through Axel. I finally got fed up with that I headed outside to sit on the front porch. The last thing I saw before closing the door was Sora (yes he was there) looking like he had been or was going to cry, clinging onto, you guessed it, Riku.

x.x.x

I was able to think much clearly once outside. I sat down on the cold steps, breathing in and feeling the cold air cracking in my lungs. Something cold fell on my face. Only when I looked up did I realize it was snowing. Great. Now I'm going to be even colder. I knew I should've brought a jacket or coat or... something. I sighed seeing my breath escape in a huge puff of air. For some reason or another, I didn't feel like I should be in there.

A shiver ran through me. I pulled the hood of my sweatshirt up and pulled the sleeves over my hands. Didn't help much. A light suddenly spread out in front of me and I saw my shadow in the snow. Then it was gone.

''Hey, Roxas,'' a voice whispered into my ear.

I yelped and jumped at the unexpected voice. Said voice laughed. Wait...

''A-axel?'' I asked, turning around. Sure enough, it was.

He chuckled and sat down on the steps next to me. He was silent for a moment before turning to me. ''I was looking all over for you. Why are you out here?''

I shrugged, trying to act nonchalant. ''No reason. Just wanted some fresh air.'' I trembled at bit as I tried to keep my body from shaking from the cold. It just made me even colder.

''You didn't bring a jacket?'' Axel asked with a raised eyebrow.

''D-didn't think it'd be so cold...''

''Rox, it's _snowing. _Duh, it'd be cold.''

''G-good for y-you.''

I heard the sound of a zipper and felt something nudge my knee. I turned to look at Axel, seeing that he was holding his coat open.

I tilted my head at him. ''...e-eh?''

Green eyes rolled at me. ''Get over here.'' When I made no move to... well, _move_, he reached out and grabbed my wrist, pulling me forward. I landed with an 'oomph!' against his chest and his coat closed around the both of us. I looked up at him and blinked. Our faces were so close that our noses touched.

''What are you doing?'' I asked, frowning.

''Heh, keeping you warm, sunshine.''

I frowned even more at that. Blushed too, I think.

''St_op_ caaalling me that!'' I whined.

''You know what, Roxas? It's a little thing called 'live with it'.''

My bottom lip jutted out.

''Now, c'mon, you can tell me what's wrong,'' he said, smiling.

I though for a few moments before replying with, ''You'll laugh.''

''...Try me.''

I sighed and pressed the side of my face against Axel's chest. The warmth easily spread through me, calming me down.

''It's just... like... I­-I barely know most of the people in there and... I... I feel out of place. Like I don't belong.''

Axel simply gave me a quizzical look and raised his eyebrow.

''A-and...'' I continued slowly, ''I sorta... panicked? When you walked away. Like, I thought I'd be able to see you and all despite the people, but I didn't.'' I tugged on a lock of his crimson hair.

''Ohh,'' was all he said. Then he fell silent, his eyes moving away from me. Finally he spoke up again, ''Sorry, Rox. I didn't think about that. I forgot how you are, I guess.''

''What am I like, then?''

Axel cocked his head to the side and looked down at me. ''...You're... really closed up. Or you _were_ when I met you. And it's hard earning your trust. You don't open up that easily to people either and you sometimes act cold... and for you, it takes a bit more... to finally get to your heart.'' He unwound an arm from our somewhat awkward embrace and placed his hand against my chest. I hoped he couldn't feel how hard my heart was pounding. He probably did though, because his eyebrows raised and his smile turned into a smirk. I stuck my tongue out at him and moved his hand away so I could lean against his chest again.

''...Guess I opened up to you,'' I finally said.

''Funny how things work. In the beginning, you acted like you hated me.''

I cringed, remembering the first day I moved into Axel's apartment. ''I... sorta did actually... but I was wrong.'' I was too quick to judge, too quick to hate... and to quick to close myself from the rest of the world.

''Mmm.''

I sighed, completely relaxing against Axel. I could fall asleep right then and there. But the feeling ebbed away when I felt one of Axel's hands move away from my back and pull my hood off my head. And then something started brushing against the tips of my spikes, irritating me to the point I had to look up.

''Mistletoe,'' Axel said, smirking slightly. The small clump of leaves hung from his fingers above my head. I could only blink stupidly at him. And then his mouth pushed against mine and all I could do was lean back with wide eyes. He leaned back finally, still close enough that our lips brushed and his warm breath mingled with mine. Before I could stop myself, I leaned back in, kissing him again. Moments later we broke away, both with less air than we had to begin with. I instantly leaned back against Axel, closing my eyes.

''You tired?'' I heard Axel ask, his hand running through my hair. I gave a small nod. He easily stood up, sliding one arm under my knees and the other under my back.

I don't remember much after that but I can recall Axel asking Naminé if she would let him put me in the guest bedroom. And stairs. I remember stairs. And a bed. An unbelievably soft and comfortable bed. The mattress sinking as Axel sat beside me and stroked my hair. His lips against my forehead. And then darkness.

I must've woken up some hours later since the clock on the bedside table told me it was midnight. I frowned, wondering why I woke up. I was still as sleepy as god knows what.

''Hey... wake up, Rox..''

I managed to open one eye but decided against it and rolled away to try to fall asleep again. The prodding in my side wouldn't allow it.

''Roxas...''

''Mmnn...'' I mumbled, refusing to move. I heard Axel sigh and practically saw him roll his eyes. I felt his arms slip under me and lift me up. Yet I still didn't open my eyes.

Axel carried me from the room to downstairs where I heard Naminé whisper ''Hope you had fun. Merry Christmas.''

"Yeah, had a blast,'' Axel replied softly. ''Merry Christmas to you too, sweetie.''

The sting of cold air told me we were finally outside. I felt myself drifting off again. No driving for me tonight. I hope Axel didn't have any alcohol..

x.x.x

**Shugo:** yay!! chapter seven is finally done!

((dances))

_took me a damn while.  
_that wasn't what i really/  
wanted for the ending  
but i forgot what i _did_  
want so i just ended it

there. sowwwyy.

mmyeah.

reviewkayplzthnxbai.


	8. o8 : tell me

**GAAAHHHHHRGHROUHGDKIRUSHGUDS ((dies)) xX I am NEVER putting off writing a chapter for that long EVER again (yeah right). Too nervewracking D: **

**Well then.. This chapter's... pretty damn long. I think...**

**Well, last chapter ended with Christmas eve and now it's Christmas day. Originally I was going to skip it and just go to Valentine's day but then I thought, that'd be kinda stupid to not include Christmas day. So I guess the schedule for the next couple of chapters are sort of like this:**

**For the next chapter, I'm thinking of making it an interlude. Roxy-Centric!**

**After that is s'posed to be the V-Day chapter which I have already started. (honest!)**

**(The song lyrics were s'posed to be Yule Shoot Your Eye by FOB, but it was too sad to use so I just used this)**

**((throws confetti))**

**(I hope there aren't any mistakes here.. ((sweatdrop)) if there are, tell me in your review and I'll fix them ASAP)**

-- - -- -- -- - -- - - -- --  
sunshine _in_ a **bag**

CHAPTER o8 : tell me you like boys like me better, in the dark lying on top of you

_"It's gonna be a merry merry merry frickin' Christmas, I must be on Santa Clause's shitlist,  
the tree, the gifts, the mistletoe kiss, shoot me now, I'm sick of all my relatives,  
it's gonna be a merry merry merry frickin' Christmas."  
_-Frickin' A **'Merry Frickin' Christmas'**

.x.Axel.x.

I had this weird dream. And when I say weird, I don't mean things like random guys in hot dog costumes chasing you around. Not the kind where you wake up and go "Holy shit, what the fuck was _that?_"

More like a "Wow.. that was _weird_" kind of weird. God, I don't even know how to explain it.

See, my dream was a about Roxas. No, you perves, not that kind of dream. The day I have that kind of dream is the day I will jump out of a window for having such thoughts about Roxas.

Well, anyway, like I said, the dream was about Roxas. And, y'know, the weird thing about it was that.. that it was like I wasn't even there. Like I was watching from _above_ or something, like I had no body. He was in a room, a white one. The curtains, the tables, the chairs, the floor, the walls, the ceiling, everything was white. And.. in the middle of the room was a cage.. made of gold.. and Roxas was sitting in there. He was.. just there. He looked like a doll because he didn't even move. He only breathed.

And all of a sudden, he turns his head and looks at me.

...His eyes were black. Whatever emotion it was, it nearly broke my heart.

That was when I woke up, breathing harshly.

I sat up, supporting myself on my elbows and looked down at my side. Roxas was there, as usual, asleep beside me with his head on my stomach.

I couldn't help but smile. Honestly, he was so cute.

I reached out my hand and ran my fingers through his hair for a minute. But damn, I was so tired, I just fell asleep again.

And next thing I knew, I had opened my eyes to a certain blonde hovering above me.

Wait...

WHOAWHATTHEFUCK!

I bolted upright with wide eyes, making him fall backwards onto my knees. I cannot begin to tell you how much that hurt.

"Merry Christmas!" Roxas chirped, absolutely ignoring my pain. He leaned forward and grinned in my face. He smelled warm and sweet.. like sugar cookies and peppermint. Or was that just because he was making cookies? For _meee?_ Nawww.

"M-mornin'," I said groggily, my voice cracking. I wasn't really a morning person. I mean, like, usually, I'd bite the head off of the person to wake me up, but hey, this was _Roxas!_ I don't think I'd wanna bite off his head. Well.. I _would_ if he didn't get off my legs..

"C'mooooon, wake up, man," Roxas said, jumping up and down.

"Ow! Roxas! Those are my _knees!_"

He only giggled and crawled to sit by me while I rubbed my abused knees.

"Okay, what's wrong with you? What did you do to my emo little fuck?"

Roxas frowned and smacked me in the side of the head. Little white spots exploded in my vision and I yelped out. I suppose this is what kissing someone you're really attracted to is like. Without the pain though. Of course, hehehe, I would know.

"What're you trying to do?! Give me_ brain damage_?!"

"I'm being nice and all you can say is call me an emo little fuck?"

"Merry Christmas?" I tried.

Roxas rolled his eyes and shook his head. "C'mon, I made breakfast." He crawled of the bed, shuffling out of my room. Okay.. this was _not_ the same kid from last night. I don't I've ever seen him that cheerful... And I don't think that he's ever made me breakfast before either.

...Roxas can cook?

I yawned and stretched out, feeling the vertebrae in my spine snap back into place. Yeah, yeah, gross, I know. But, man, I gotta tell you, my back was stiff as a board. So there.

I reluctantly left the warmth of my bed and walked over to the closet, deciding on not letting my thoughts dwell on Roxas's bipolarity. Finding a pair of black jeans and a fitting, red long-sleeved shirt, I slipped into them. After, I went to the bathroom to.. well, do bathroom stuff. I won't get into details.

Sooooo. Roxas made breakfast, huh? Well, this would be a first.

Outside of my room was even colder. I shivered slightly and stuck my hands in my pockets. Didn't anyone hear of a little thing called the heater? I guess not. The thermostat in the living room said was about 68 degrees so I turned it up a generous amount. Well, of course, I could've just lit the couch on fire. But I don't think people would appreciate that. Or my pyromaniacy. Anyway, the smell of maple syrup from the kitchen worked its magic, making my brain block out all other thoughts except for _Food food food food food food. _I think I started drooling.

Blondie was already sitting at the kitchen table his head resting on the hard surface. I stopped by the couch, merely watching him. He didn't even notice me. His eyes were clouded and half-lidded. I heard him let out a small sigh and saw him pull up his gray-sleeved arms against his chest.

"_Roxas,_ you feeling okay?" I said, casually walking over to the table and trying to make it seem as though I wasn't staring. Though, y'know, it would've been nice if he had looked back..

His blonde head shot up from the table so fast that I thought I heard his neck crack. Jeez.

"H-huh..? Oh.. yeah.. I'm fine.. Just... spazzed out." He shook his head as though trying to clear his head of some nasty thoughts and pushed a plate of pancakes towards me.

"Thanks," I said, spearing a pancake onto a fork. Roxas nodded slowly and rested his chin on his arms again. Okay, seriously, what was up with him? Just a few minutes ago he was bouncing around like Sora. He's like.. friggin' PMSing. Stupid bipolarity. I think he's been hanging out with Kairi a bit too much.

"Alright, Roxas. What's wrong?"

"I'm just... thinking."

"What about?"

"Well... it's just that.. Kairi told me that Sora, Riku and Cloud were going out somewhere for Christmas. And.. Iunno. I guess I sorta feel left out. I have myself to blame anyway since it always seems like I don't want to go anywhere so.. they just don't bother asking anymore." Roxas shrugged and sighed. "It just.. sorta feels like they could care less, y'know? I mean, sure I left home because I couldn't stand being cooped in there.. I just.. wanted some space for once.. And now I'm getting it and I don't like it.."

I reached out for his hand without a second thought. "I know what you mean. I left home too. But.. I think for different reasons than the one's you had. Well, not left exactly, more like I got kicked out, but whatever."

Roxas looked down at our hands and then blinked up at me with those gorgeous eyes of his...

"But that's a story for another time, mmkay? Don't wanna ruin your Christmas spirit," I said, chuckling softly. Roxas nodded once.

"Alright, c'mon, cheer up, Rox. Ah! I got it. Let's go somewhere? Mmm? The mall maybe?"

"Really?"

"Hah, yeah, why not? Go get dressed."

Roxas nodded and fled to his room. He looked as though this was the first nice thing I've ever done for him. God.. I chuckled and rested my elbows on the table, smiling after him. Where did that little emo in him go? I sorta figured him to be the type to be up on Christmas and shooting darts at a poster of Santa. And here he was, starry-eyed and.. I don't know. _Sweet._

"'m ready," Roxas said softly, shrugging a jacket onto his shoulders.

I blinked. Has he always been this shy? My little Roxie? _SHY? _(Okay, not exactly _mine._ But I'm working on that.)

I quickly shook my head, pushing the thought away for later and stood up.

"Good," I said, grinning. I stood, slipping into my own coat (a Matrix-trench-look-alike, not even kidding) and sneakers. I looked back at Roxas when I was done and cocked an eyebrow. "Won't you be cold? That jacket looks pretty thin..."

Unless, of course, you _want_ to freeze your ass off, then sure go ahead. Roxcicle.

...Yum.

"O-oh.. um.. I don't have anything warmer.." Roxas mumbled, lowering his eyes.

Honestly, what the hell is up with him? Last I remember, he was walking around, cussing me out left and right.

"Roxas, are you feeling okay?" I asked, walking up to him. He shrugged lightly. "Are you sick..?" I muttered, lifting his chin with my fingertips to look him in the eyes. I was seriously worried now.. The look in his eyes was complete disarray. But.. he didn't really look sick.. "What's wrong..?"

Roxas's gaze locked onto mine and he couldn't pull away from me, and I could see that he was trying to. "...I don't know," he finally admitted, his voice barely a whisper. His eyes flitted back down. I sighed and kneeled down, just to make it easier for him to look at me.

"Why don't you know?"

Roxas was silent for what seemed like forever. I was ready to say something to him but he suddenly let out a heavy sigh. "I don't know.. just.. like.. I mean.. I already feel left out with my brothers not taking me out because they would always, no matter what, drag me out even under my protests.. And.. my old friends from Twilight Town.. I haven't talked to them or _seen_ them in ages and.. last time I tried calling anyone, it said the number was unavailable.. and.. they never called me.. and.. Iunno. And it's getting to me and now you're worrying, a-and..." He trailed off, letting out another shaky sigh.

"Of course I'm worrying, Rox. You look like a wreck. Not literally, but emotionally."

"I just feel sorta.. forgotten, y'know?"

"..I haven't forgotten you, Rox. I'm still here. I'll never forget you. Cuz we're buddies, right?" I smiled softly at him and punched him lightly in the shoulder.

"..Y-yeah.. right," Roxas said, hastily wiping his eyes. I caught a smile there too.

"There we go. Now c'mon, sunshine. Let's go." I took off my coat and held it out to Roxas. He just stared at me. "Put it _on._"

"O-oh! Um.." He quickly stripped out of his jacket and pulled on my coat. It was.. a bit big on him, but made him look even cuter than he already was. He had a boyish charm. I loved it. "But.. aren't you gonna be cold?"

"It's not the only coat I own," I said. I walked into my room, finding another similar coat in my closet and came back out with it. Roxas was still in the same spot that I left him in the living room. His head was cocked adorably to the side and I just couldn't help but grin.

x.x.x

Alright.. well.. there's sorta one thing I forgot to mention. You know how I work at F.Y.E?

Well.. it's _worked._ Meaning, I don't work there anymore. And now, Demyx is chewing my head off. Almost literally.

"I can't believe you left me there! I tried calling you, like everyday! How come you never picked up? Do you hate me? Is that it? So you tried to avoid me? No, don't give me that look! It's not gonna work this time. You freaking, _bastard!_ How could you do this to me? You could've at least told me you were quitting and working full-time at the restaurant, you heartless, stupid, son-of-a-bitch! Oh, hello Roxas."

If there's one thing I'm afraid of, it's a raving mad Demyx. Stop laughing at me, you bastards! You'd be scared too if you had Dem running around after you trying to hit you with a fucking _sitar_ or whatever-the-fuck it's called. I swallowed thickly and shoved Roxas in front of me, using him as a human shield. He glared at me.

"I haven't seen you in a while, Rox. I thought you were at Naminé's party yesterday, weren't you?"

"O-oh.. um.. yeah. I was. But I fell asleep so Axel put me in a guest bedroom upstairs..."

I could have sworn that Roxas _blushed._

"Well, Merry Christmas, kid!" Demyx crowed, slinging an arm over Roxas's shoulders.

I felt a muscle in my temple twitch. Only _I_ was allowed to call Roxas that. Along with kiddo, sunshine, BHK, sweetie, babe... Though.. last time I called him babe, he threw the lamp at me.

Though Roxas only laughed and leaned against Demyx, replying with his own 'Merry Christmas.'

I am so not jealous.

We stood there by the railing on the third floor, Demyx and Roxas talking with each other for a few minutes. This is stupid. I'm not s'posed to be jealous. Well, I know why I am, I _like_ Roxas, but still... I can't help it.

I reached into my pocket and pulled out a black lighter. My thumb worked to click it on and off. It was just a habit. I'd usually do that when I was feeling.. I don't know. A stressing emotion.

"Yeah, so Naminé's been telling me that she thinks that she wants to go out with you."

I twitched again, the lighter in my hand nearly snapping in my hand.

"Wh-"

_**"What?"**_I ground out before Roxas had the chance to.

"Yeah," said Demyx, tilting his head, totally oblivious to the fact that I wanted to go find the girl and tear her throat out. No, I'm _not_ violent.

"Oh," was all Roxas said. And he was totally blushing. Can you believe that?! _He was __**blushing.**_

I'm pretty sure I felt the lighter bend.

"Axel, man, you okay? You look like you have a fever," Demyx said. I felt something on my forehead and it took me a moment to realize it was Dem's hand.

"I'm peachy," I half-snarled, jerking my head away. I took a deep breath, steadying my emotions a little bit. I didn't want to be mean to Demyx or anything, he was a good friend of mine after all. "I'm just.. not feeling well all of a sudden," I said. Well, it was _almost_ the truth.

"Do you wanna go home?" I looked down to find Roxas by my side, those gorgeous blue eyes impossibly large. Honestly, I didn't want to ruin this day for him.

"Heh, no, it's okay sunshine. Just give me a sec, I'm gonna go dunk my head under some cold water."

Roxas raised an eyebrow but let me go nonetheless. I squeezed my way through the throngs of people (made much easier by my skinniness) and finally stumbled into the bathroom. Thankfully, (from what I heard) it was empty.

I walked over to the sink, glancing at my face in the mirror.

And.. whoa.

My cheeks were flushed a color similar to my hair and my pupils were contracted from anger. Even the irises around them had turned a deep shade of emerald. God, this freaked me out.

How come I got so worked up over the fact that Naminé wants ask Roxas out?

Well, that was a stupid question. I _like_ Roxas, goddammit!

Sooo.. I guess this means I'm.. jealous? Well, whoop-de-frickin'-dooooo.

There's no way Roxas will actually want to go out with Naminé.. right? I mean, he's _gay!_ Well, no, bi, whatever, but still! After all this time, you'd think the kid would start hounding after me! Dear _God!_ Had that kiss last night meant nothing to him? Ah, another stupid question. Mistletoe kisses _are_ a tradition after all.

I gripped the edges of the sink and sighed. How would I face him now? I like him so much, and he's probably gonna go out with someone else. Goddamn, Fate's a bitch.

I sighed again and hung my head, refusing to look at myself, because I knew that if I looked, I would see myself crying.

I had no right to act this way.. Roxas had the right to go out with whoever he chose. It didn't matter what say I had in it, it wasn't my decision.

"Alright, Axel, stop being stupid and stop acting selfish. It's not gonna work if you try to fight this... He deserves to go out with her. He's already given me so much, he deserves someone better than me."

I kept repeating that to myself, that I'm nothing to him, just another step on his staircase of life.

But the other half of me was also saying something over and over again...

_I'm in love with him, I'm in love with him, I'm in __**love**__ with __**Roxas**_

-- -- - -- - -- - - - - --  
.x.Roxas.x.

Well.. that was certainly.. odd. Axel ran away as though his ass was on fire. Which wouldn't be all too surprising considering that he carries around a lighter with him. But seriously, did you _see_ his face? That was scary. Like, really.

His cheeks turned about the same color as his hair and his eyes went all dark, like someone threw a blanket over them. If this was a humorous situation, I would've said something like that there's a little person living in Axel's head and controlling him. Then again, that look totally freaked me out, so.. no.

"What the hell was that all about?" Demyx muttered, pouting. I shrugged in response.

"Dunno, but.. I don't think I've seen him like that before."

"Yeah, me either. Like, he'd always yell at me cuz he says I'm annoying but.."

"Something was off?"

"Yeah."

"...yeah."

Demyx and I exchanged glances. I guess we both looked just a little worried.

"I'll go find him," I offered. Demyx nodded at me and retreated to a bench, showing me that he'd wait.

Well, let's see, on my way to the bathroom, I nearly got trampled on, almost got lost, had a little kid think I was his daddy (seriously, what the fuck), and had an old lady hit me in the head with her handbag. Yeah. Totally uncool.

I finally made my way into the bathroom, looking a little more ruffled than I was to begin with. I saw Axel standing at one of the sinks, his back turned to me. He was just.. staring at the sink, muttering under his breath. Maybe he really was sick?

I walked up cautiously to him and rested my hand on his shoulder. "Axel, you okay there..?"

His response was a jump and a "HOLY FUCK!" I gasped and fell back on my ass. Hey, you would too if you just freaked someone out and they freaked you out back!

"D-dear god.. Roxas.. don't sneak up on me like that..!" I looked up to see Axel breathing heavily, one hand on his chest. My own heart was doing track leaps.

Axel laughed nervously, a laugh that wasn't even _him_, and gave me his hand. I reached for it gratefully, letting myself be pulled up off the messy bathroom floor and right into.. Axel arms?

"A-are you okay..?" I said-well, more like squeaked-and looked up at him. I couldn't see his face since it was buried in my own hair. Thank god, or he would've seen me blu-_**NOT BLUSHING!**_

"Yeah, yeah," I heard him mumble. "I feel better now."

My shoulders slumped in relief and I smiled. Well, that was good to hear.

...Whaaat? I can't get worried over my friend?

Axel chuckled and leaned down to look at me at eye level. "So, what do you think, Roxy? Are you gonna go out with Nami?"

Y'know.. come to think of it, Axel had gone all weird like that when Demyx said that Naminé wanted to go out with me. What, was he jealous or something? Because when he just asked me that, even though he was smiling, there was something.. in his eyes. Like, they were dull and dark. No, I'm not talking about the whole 'I CAN SEE INTO YOUR SOUL' cliché, because honestly people, that's not possible. Though you usually can figure out how people are feeling by the color in their eyes. And Axel's weren't looking all too pretty.

"U-um.. I don't know.. I'm thinking about it," I said slowly.

I honestly wasn't sure whether I wanted to or not. First of all.. I sorta like Axel. I think we established that yesterday. On the other hand.. he's one of the closest friends I have right now, and I don't want to lose that. What if.. what if I _do_ tell Axel that I like him? Then what? What if we get together? What if something will happen? Then I'll lose Axel forever.. And I don't want that to happen. He's too good of a friend. Even if he is a little perverted.

"But.. I think I want to go out with her," I finally said.

Something passed across Axel's face that I couldn't quite put my finger on. I... I don't think I've ever seen such a look before. But it passed before I had enough time to figure out what it was.

"Looks like Roxy's getting himself a _girlfriend_," Axel said, ruffling my hair and grinning. Though, I must say, that grin looked a bit forced.

But I ignored it, instead choosing to grin back at him nervously. "Yeah, I guess you can say that."

Axel ran his hand through my hair one more time before letting it fall to his side. "C'mon. Demyx is prolly waiting."

Axel was suddenly leaning forward and I could do nothing but freeze. I shut my eyes, leaning back a bit, thinking that he was going to kiss me. My heart started beating about twenty times per second and all the blood rushed to my face... All that came next was the brush of his cheek against mine and when I opened my eyes, he was holding the door open for me. I swallowed thickly and walked cautiously after him.

What was that about...?

x.x.x

"Poor Demyx." I could practically hear the grin in Axel's voice.

I laughed and dug around my pockets for the keys since Axel had forgotten his (again). "It's gonna take him weeks to get that stuff out of his hair.."

"Yeah, same here," Axel said with a roll of his eyes.

See, the thing is, I don't know _what_ happened, but all of a sudden, something (or someone) triggered a food fight in the food court. Axel and Demyx got caught in the crossfire while I was smart enough to take cover in a nearby store. It's a good thing Axel didn't get too dirty. Otherwise I wouldn't have let him near me to keep me warm. We had to walk to the mall (plus take the bus) because the doors to Axel's car got frozen shut. Wonderful, I know.

I finally fished out my key and set it in the lock, opening the door. Axel was the first inside.

"Dear god, I am so taking a fucking shower..." I heard him mutter as he stalked into the bathroom.

I chuckled and kicked off my shoes, heading towards my room. I fell onto my bed, a sudden thought occurring.

You know.. I've spent much less time in this room ever since I started sleeping with Axel. And by "sleeping with Axel" I don't mean sex. Goddammit, why do you people always jump to conclusions? I guess it's just because I like the company. And I feel safer sleeping with him than by myself.

It's kind of funny.

I remember yelling at him how no one cared about me, that I was ignored. Why did he care about me anyway?

_"Because that's what friends do."_

Y'know, I haven't been this happy in quite a long while. Ever since I moved in with Axel, my mood has been steadily soaring. I guess.. Axel just has that effect on me. He's so carefree. He just lives his life the way he wants to without anyone having to tell him how to do it. Looks like I still have to get used to that.

"Wow, you're not hogging my bed?"

My heart launched into my throat and I bolted upright. "Whatnow?"

Axel was standing in my doorway wearing nothing but a pair of pajama pants, his hair still drying from the shower. I have to admit, he looked kinda nice with his hair down like that. Yes. I just _admitted_ that.

Axel didn't answer me. He only laughed that low, warm laugh and walked away.

-- -- -- - - -- - -- -  
.x.Axel.x.

Hah, that Roxas is something else entirely.

It's a bit sad. He's starting to drift away. Just watch. Pretty soon, he'll be hooked up with Naminé, move away, they'll get married, have 2.5 kids, and live happily ever after.

And I?

I'll be stuck in this godforsaken apartment for the rest of my life and die in it too. Whoopee-

"A-axel?"

I blinked. That was Roxas, was it not?

I leaned up on my bed, and sure enough, Roxas was standing in my doorway, already wearing his blue sweatpants and an oversized white t-shirt that he wore to bed. Aww, he looked so cuuuute..

"Yeah?" I asked, leaning back on my elbows.

"Can.. can I sleep with you?"

I bit my tongue to hold back a perverted remark and smiled at him. "You don't even have to ask anymore, y'know."

I caught the faint outline of his smile and scooted over in my bed to make room for him. He slid in beside me, pulling the blankets up to his chin. I'm glad he likes sleeping in here so much. Much less lonely for me.

"Thanks for taking me out today, Axel.. I had fun, really. And Demyx is pretty cool, too."

I chuckled and reached over to ruffle his hair. "Yeah, he's is. He can play a mean sitar, too. Whatever the fuck a sitar's s'posed to be anyway."

I heard him laugh and felt his head bump against my hand. He was such a sweet kid. I remember him, months ago, when he would practically try to bite me just for getting within a five-mile radius of him. Of course, he still has quite a bit of a temper (I have the bruise on my arm to prove it), but at least he doesn't want to shoot my head off or anything.

"Hey.. Roxas..?"

I felt him shift and lift his head at me. "Hnn?"

"Can I kiss you?"

...Gods above, I don't know what had possessed me to say such a thing. But screw it.

"Wh-what..?" Roxas squeaked, and I nearly laughed at the sound of his voice.

"I asked if I could kiss you," I said softly.

My answer was nothing but silence and our breathing. If it was quiet enough, perhaps I would've been able to hear Roxas's heart.

"..Okay."

Okay? As in.. I can kiss him?

My heart leapt and I couldn't help but grin as I leaned over him in the darkness, gently placing my lips against his. I felt his fingers thread in my hair pulling me farther down. It was nothing but a sweet and innocent kiss. No tongue, no teeth. It was only a kiss.

"Hey... Axel...?" Roxas breathed as he pulled away from me.

"Yes?"

"Merry Christmas..."

I smiled and pulled Roxas close against my chest, my arms around his shoulders. I heard the sound of his slow breathing, felt his soft hair against my neck..

"Merry Christmas, Roxas... I love you…"

Shame he didn't hear me though. He was already asleep.

I decided right then and there that no matter who he ended up with, who he fell in love with, I would still be there for him no matter what. If he needed me to, I'd do anything for him. 'Cause that's what you do for someone you love.

x.x.x

**Finally! I'm done.. Whew.**

**This story is getting a bit confusing. I'm finding things I should've said in previous chapters instead of later.. But going back and rewriting everything is gonna take way too much work. So.. I'm trying to figure ways on how to tie everything together. I think I'm gonna have to go and reread everything myself XDDD**

**So just bear with me please...**

**Leave reviews on your way out :3**


	9. o9 : blinded

**After listening to Caramelldansen over 100 times (and I'm still listening to it, and I think I wore out the track), I was finally hit with enough.. energy? to finally overcome my writer's block and finish this.**

**Dear lord. 100 reviews. I think I just died. ((weeps with joy)) Chapter dedicated to ****Incognito Indigo**

**So.. I wanted to get this done for AkuRoku day.. but thanks to NOT BEING HOME WHEN IT WAS AKUROKU DAY, I MISSED IT. My devart submission is a day late and this is two days late. ((grumble))**

**Well, anyway, enjoy. (sorry for the long song snippet XD)**

- -- - -- -- - - -- -  
sunshine _in_ a **bag**

CHAPTER o9 : blinded

_"Sometimes this house feels like a prison, that I just can't leave behind, there's so many rules  
I gotta follow, cuz you can't let go. I don't wanna hear it, and I j-j-just can't believe it, all the stupid  
things you say, but... One day, I won't take this anymore, one day, I'll be old enough to do what I  
want to. I won't have to run away, and you won't be there to say I'm not allowed to.. One day."  
_-Simple Plan **'One Day'**

.x.Roxas.x.

"Roxas, honey, you're finally here!"

I felt myself being enveloped in less-than-comforting arms and get squeezed to death.

"Mom! Easy, you're gonna choke him!' Sora piped up, tugging on Mom's arm.

That seemed to do the trick because she suddenly let go of me. "Oh, but I'm just so happy he's home.." Mom wailed, magically producing a tissue from her pocket and blowing her nose into it. I merely stepped back a bit, feeling slightly creeped out.

"Mom, I was only gone for like.. what, five months..?"

"No, _really?_ I hadn't noticed."

I sighed and shook my head. You're probably wondering what the hell is going on, right? Well, this morning, the day after Christmas, my brothers _bounded_ (except for Cloud; Cloud does _not_ bound) into my-uh.. Axel's apartment, and said that Mom demanded that I was over her house at once. So Sora and Cloud dragged me out of the apartment while I was half-asleep, leaving a dumbfounded Axel still in bed.

...I swear to god, if I hear another girl fucking squeal, I will stab you with a steak-knife. I don't know where I'll find one, but when I do, I'll poke your eyes out. So there.

I let Mom lead me to the kitchen table and seat me in the chair, silently preparing for her mile-a-minute questions. To be honest, right now, I wanted nothing more than to be back in bed. Back in the comfort and familiarity of Axel's presence. ..And I was still tired as hell.

"So, Roxas, sweetie, Sora tells me you're staying with one of his friends, right?"

I glared at my brother who was leaning against the counter and eating an apple, and he gave me a confused look. I just.. wanted to take a two by four and take it through his head. Didn't he _hear_ me when I said I didn't want to go to Mom's? Maybe I could borrow that sword thing Cloud has and run it through So-

"Yeah, Axel let me room with him-"

"Axel? You mean that redheaded boy, right?" Mom asked, leaning forward on the table and resting her chin in her hands. I nodded.

"Oh, that's great that you have a place to stay at. Do you two get along?"

"Hmm? Yeah, he's nice to me."

"Yeah, Rox has the hots for him."

I think my face just turned about every shade of red known to man. "NO I DON'T, SORA!"

"Then why deny it so quickly?" Sora said, giving me a smug look.

No wonder I had felt the need to get out of this house.

"Because.." I ground out slowly, careful to not lose my cool. "I'm already going out with Naminé.."

Sora nearly choked on his apple. "Wh-what?! When did she ask you?!"

"Yesterday. Well, it was from Demyx, but either way..."

Sora stood there for a moment, processing what he had heard before walking away. The look on his face could've said that the apocalypse was coming or something.

"Oh, my baby boy has a girlfriend..!"

Heh.. yeah..

A girlfriend.

...Holy motherfu-

"Anyway, darling, are you hungry?"

"No... But I could go for some coffee," I said, glancing up at my mom. She quickly bolted up from her chair and set to work on making me breakfast, even though I just told her I wasn't hungry.. But whatever. Might as well eat.

I looked over at Cloud, who was silent as usual. It wasn't that he was really that anti-social, or didn't like talking, but sometimes it was just easier to say nothing.

He rested his elbows on the table and arched an eyebrow. I sighed and shrugged. Really, it wasn't that I didn't like Naminé.. It's just that, I barely know her. I know that she's sweet and pretty.. but why did I go out with her again?

Cloud shook his head and stood up. He walked out of the kitchen, ruffling my hair as he went.

x.x.x

The day progressed normally. Somewhat. Mom kept bombarding me with questions and Sora finally stopped being an ass and started acting more like.. y'know. An actual brother. But that might've been cos Riku came over.. Little jerk.

I sighed resting my chin on the table when my cell phone vibrated. I pulled it out of my pocket and flipped it open under the table.

**Axel says you need some saving. :D  
-Kairi**

I could've jumped on the table and started dancing.

**Yes PLEASE.  
-Roxas**

I jumped out of my chair, pocketing my phone. It wasn't that I didn't wanna be here, I mean, seeing my mom was great and stuff, but it making me all fidgety.

"Uhh, listen Mom, I forgot to tell you. Kairi and I are getting together so she's gonna be here in a few minutes."

"Oh? Getting together?" She looked at me over her shoulder from where she was washing the dishes.

"Mom, don't look at me like that, you know we're just friends."

She smiled at me and turned back to the dishes. "Just like you're friends with Axel?"

That took me aback and I blinked at my mother's back. "What?"

"You seem to be very fond of that boy."

"_Fond?_ Mom, we're just friends! I have a girlfriend, y'know. Why would I be fond of him in _that_ way?"

Mom only 'hmm'd in response. I crossed my arms and looked at her expectantly, waiting for her to continue, but she didn't. Did she know something that I didn't? Huh.

I was knocked out of my thoughts when I heard the doorbell ring and Sora shout, "I'll get it!"

I grinned, running into the living room.

"Kairi! What are you doing here?" Sora asked, bouncing slightly. Riku waved at her from over the couch.

"Sorry, no time to talk, buddy. I'm kidnapping your brother!" Sora blinked in confusion as Kairi grabbed my black coat (the one Axel gave me yesterday) and wrapped my scarf around my neck, using it like a leash.

Do I look like a dog to you? Wait... don't answer that.

Mom suddenly ran in, a small box wrapped in white paper in her hands, She smiled at me and held it out. "This one's from all of us. Sora, Cloud, and I. Riku, too."

I couldn't help but smile back as I took the gift from her. "Thanks you guys-ack! Kairi! Don't pull so hard!"

About five minutes of me gasping for air like a fish out of water, Kairi finally stopped in the middle of the sidewalk. Everyone grumbled and walked around us, probably going to return their gifts of something like that.

"Christ, Kai, are you trying to kill me?!" I hissed, yanking the scarf from her grip. She smiled apologetically as I gingerly rubbed my neck.

"Sorry, Roxy." She patted my head with a gloved hand and I pouted at her.

"Well then," I sighed, slipping my hands into my pockets. I wish I had grabbed gloves on the way out. "Thanks for saving me and stuff."

Kairi shrugged and grinned at me. "No problem. I needed something to do anyway."

I nodded and stood there, rocking back on my heels. Kairi quietly stared back at me. I sighed and rolled my eyes.

"You wanna do something today?"

Kairi smiled brilliantly, and I mean brilliantly, and looped her arm through mine. "I thought you'd never ask."

I chuckled, letting her walk close beside me. I admit that I'm guilty of not spending time with my best friend over the past few weeks. I guess I had been so caught up in Axel's company that I forgot the company of Kairi.. and my family. I'm not sure if that's a bad thing or not. I suppose I just got used to Axel, is all.

"So what're we doing?" I asked, once Kairi began pulling me down the familiar street to her house.

"Mmmm, I was thinking popcorn, hot chocolate and twelve hours worth of Disney movies?"

I grinned. I couldn't resist hot chocolate _or_ popcorn and the thought of them both together was sending me to chocolate-y-and-buttered-popcorn-flavored euphoria. And, haha, really, who can resist Disney movies anyway, right?

...Right?

Oh. Fuck you.

I don't even know why I'm talking to you.

x.x.x

I dragged the comforter from Kairi's bed to the floor. I was leaning against the bed while Kairi was rummaging through her stacks of DVD's across the room. A flat-screen plasma TV was hovering against the wall above her.

"Roxas, I think you're the only guy I know who'd agree to watch Disney movies with a bunch of girls."

"Well, maybe, but not all Disney movies are gay and frilly. Like Pirates of the Caribbean."

"Ahh.. well that's true."

"And what do you mean by 'with a bunch of girls'? I thought it was just us."

Kairi laughed and waved her hand dismissively at me. "Oh, well, Rikku and Yuffie called while you were in the bathroom and they said they wanted to come over. You don't mind, do you..?"

"I.. no.. I guess not."

"And I invited Axel, too. Otherwise you'd be the only guy here and I thought he'd get pretty lonely without you keeping him company." She threw a grin over her shoulder and I stuck my tongue out at her.

"I didn't think Axel was one of those Disney types."

"Who doesn't like Disney?"

"...True." I sighed, leaning back against the bed. Was a bad thing that I got a fluttery feeling whenever Axel was mentioned or was around? I mean.. sure I was attracted to him.. but that was all, wasn't it? It'd just go away. I mean, he is my friend and all, it'd be wrong if I-

_Ding dong._

"I'll get it!" Kairi shot me a grin before bounding downstairs. I sat there, listening to the voices from downstairs. I stared at the ceiling for a bit and then pulled the little box my mom gave me from my pocket. Making sure Kairi and the others weren't coming up, I pulled the wrapping paper off. The box was black and velvety and sitting inside was a three-pointed crown keychain. Sora has one just like it only it's a necklace. I couldn't help but smile as I ran a finger over the silver. The sound of voices and the smell of popcorn and chocolate brought me back to earth, and I quickly closed the box, stuffing it back into my pocket.

"Roxas!"

"Roxy!"

I was suddenly tackled down to the floor by two teenaged girls. I grinned and shoved them off.

"What's up, Rox? How was Christmas?" Rikku asked, sitting cross-legged across from me.

I shrugged, scratching my cheek a little. "It was okay. You?"

"Yeah, it was wicked. My parents finally got me a Wii. It's pink!"

I chuckled, turning to the raven-haired girl sitting beside Rikku. "What about you Yuffie?"

She shrugged, leaning back on her hands. "It was pretty good. I met an old friend of mine that I haven't seen since like.. middle school. He stayed for dinner. Vincent's his name."

Rikku whistled, nudging Yuffie with her elbow and raising her eyebrows.

"Hey! It's not like that!" Yuffie snapped, and I swear I saw her blushing. "He's just a friend.."

I grinned, watching Rikku and Yuffie bicker, jumping slightly when I felt something brush the top of my head. Looking up quickly, I saw that it was Axel. He laying on the bed above me, on his stomach with his arms dangling on either side of me.

"Well, hello there, sunshine."

I scowled and swatted his hand away, hearing him laugh.

"HEY!" Kairi screamed from downstairs. I jumped in surprise. Let me tell you, that girl can scream your ear off if she wants to. "CAN ANYONE COME AND HELP ME?! Goddammit.."

Rikku and Yuffie exchanged glances and bolted it out of there. I didn't blame them. An angry Kairi was a scary Kairi. But they didn't have to leave me here.

..With Axel.

..Alone.

I took a deep breath, trying to control the flutter in my stomach.

"So, how were the 'rent's?"

I sank lower to the floor so that I could easily look up at Axel. "It wasn't so bad.. Mom was fussy but not like always."

Axel smiled down at me and I couldn't help by smile back. "By the way, tell your brother never to break into my apartment like that ever again. That was fucking scary, yo."

My smile grew into a grin and I chuckled. "Yeah. Don't ask me how he did it. I think Cloud taught him, though."

Axel laughed softly and reached down, ruffling my hair. I huffed, not bothering to move away. It's not like my hair wasn't a mess anyway. It was a bit odd, because that uncomfortable flutter died down and was replaced with a wave of peace. It was like I couldn't make up my mind-

The sound of giggling and chattering roused me from my thoughts. I looked up to the doorway, seeing Kairi, Yuffie and Rikku stumble in with two bowls of popcorn and mugs of hot chocolate.

Pretty soon, we were all sprawled out in front of Kairi's huge TV, fighting over popcorn and stealing bowls from each other, yelling at each other to quiet down...

A grin was present on my face even many, many hours later.

x.x.x

Axel and I were walking back home when it started snowing again. Usually, it feels weird if you think about it snowing after Christmas. But.. It wasn't so bad now. It was late and quiet and the soft glow from the streetlamps made everything seem.. serene?

"Hey, Rox."

I blinked and looked up at him. Axel dug around in his coat pocket before pulling out a small box wrapped in gold paper and held it out to me.

I only stared at it in surprise, eyebrows raised. "..What is it?"

"A bomb. What do you _think_ it is?"

I raised an eyebrow and took it gingerly. Because, well, with Axel, you never know. He cleared his throat impatiently, his way of telling me to open it. I blinked down at the little box in my hand and then proceeded to peel off the wrapping paper. The box was velvet, almost the same kind my keychain was in. I flipped it open, a smile spreading slowly over my features. It was a pendant. Silver, with four points, it looked more like a miniature shuriken than anything else, yet it was still pretty damn cool.

I looked up at Axel, my smile fading. "Axel.. I.. thanks. I wish I had gotten you something, too.."

Axel gave me that Cheshire grin of his and waved his hand dismissively. "Nah, it's fine. Don't worry about it."

I stuffed the box and the wrapping paper into my coat pocket and threw my arms around Axel, hugging him tightly. "Thank you so much!"

"Hey, hey, it's no big deal." I smiled, feeling Axel's long fingers brush through my hair. The smile quickly melted into a look of surprise when I felt myself being lifted into Axel's arms.

"H-hey! Put me down!" I cried, kicking out and feeling warmth rise to my cheeks.

"What, you don't want me to carry you?" Axel tilted his head at me, looking confused.

"Er.. you don't have to, Axel."

"But you look tired."

Now that he mentioned it, I was pretty wiped out. Twelve hours of Disney movies did that to you. Plus, my eyes hurt a bit from the screen.

I sighed, relaxing into Axel's hold. At least he was warm...

Axel smiled at me, shifting me slightly before continuing down the snowy sidewalk. I fell asleep moments later (from what Axel told me), still in Axel's arms with my head on his chest and the pendant still dangling from my fingers.

**x.x.x**

**OMG DONE WITH THIS CHAPTER. ((weeps with joy))**

**Well. Some of chapter ten is already written and I think I know what I want, too... maybe I'll get it up earlier.. **

**And things will start getting better with the whole Axel and Roxas thing. You'll see ;) ...I hope.**

**Anyway. Review my little pawns-I mean, precious little things. Wow. I sounded like Nuka. Lion Kiiing ftw 8D**

**Soyeah. REVIEW. PLEASE. It's srsly my food and air :)**


	10. 1o : sharpie part II

**Well, this took me a damn long while. I didn't really proofread this chapter that much, so if anyone finds a typo or whatever, tell me. OKAY? And I'm tired and I don't know what I'm writing anymore so if it just.. like, randomly stops making sense, tell me. I guess then I'll have no other choice but to actually read it through. And instead of explaining myself even more I'll just get the fuck on with it and let you read. **

**CHAPTER DEDICATED TO ****illbewaiting**** ON dA. BECAUSE SHE'S SO AWESOME LIKE THAT :D .. and I can't remember your FFnet. I'm sorry XD**

- - -- -- - -- - - - -  
sunshine _in_ a **bag**

CHAPTER 1o : sharpie part II

_"I let you go, and I'm still waiting for you to find there's nothing more, that this time  
that is right now, so the story goes, it makes you wonder, cause time is up, and  
you're never gonna get another chance now. You gotta dance now!"  
_-Cobra Starship **'Send My Love To The Dancefloor, I'll See You In Hell (Hey Mister DJ)'**

.x.Axel.x._  
_

I've always hated February.

Valentine's Day is in February.

In high school it was all about secret admirers, flowers, and too-sweet candy.

And pink. What a disgusting color. Honestly, what were the Romans thinking, making someone up such as Cupid? God, I feel like shooting him with his own arrow right in the ass. Let's see how you like that, Cupid, you fucking sadist.

So I thought high school was bad? With tons of people hounding after me? It got worse. After high school, it was no one. No flowers, candy, notes, whatever. I can't even tell if I miss those days or not.

For one thing, I was thinking of maybe hanging out with Roxas. For, y'know, Valentine's Day. I thought, Wow, maybe I'll have someone to spend V-day with. Great. We'll hang out or something.

Right?

Well, let me tell you that you're whoop-de-fucking-_wrong._

Naminé asked Roxas out for V-day. I shouldn't really be surprised. I mean... THEY'VE BEEN GOING OUT FOR OVER A MONTH. Which is a much longer relationship than I ever had or ever will.

And now I'm really, really _PISSED._ Need me to write it in sharpie on my forehead? Gladly.

She stole him right from under my nose and I didn't even see it coming. I'm not a fortune teller.

Well, psh, it's not like I should really complain anyway. Roxas probably thinks I'm just playing with him anyway. I mean, it never really seemed like I was kissing him and stuff just because I liked him. He probably thinks I'm just teasing. That this all just one big fat joke. That _I'm_ one big fat joke.

But the thing is... is it's not. I'm not doing this for kicks. I'm not doing this for a good laugh.

And even you guys know that I'm in love with the kid. Ugh. It's so fucking hard to be around him these days.

Sometimes, the idea of jumping off a roof sounds very welcoming.

I am so not suicidal.

**x**.**x**.**x**

I blinked and rubbed my eyes. Propping myself up on my elbows I glanced at the clock. 8:13 AM. Work starts in about an hour. I made a move to sit up but something held me down and I crashed right back into my pillow.

"Unnh..?"

Looking down, I saw that whatever was holding me down was a pair of arms around my waist. Wait.. he was in his room when I went to sleep... This.. this was surprising. I mean, ever since he started going out with Naminé, he started spending less time with me. He doesn't even sleep next to me anymore.

So I must say, I was very surprised.

I poked his blonde head and he merely groaned and nuzzled his face into my stomach. I could feel the heat rise to my cheeks and fidgeted uncomfortably.

"Roxas."

He's going to drive me insane. Not that he already hasn't. I'm just saying.

"_Roxas!_"

He groaned and lifted his head, blinking sleepily at me. "Mmnnh..?"

"What are you doing in my room?"

Roxas looked at me like I was stupid. Which I'm not, by the way. Totally. At all. STOP SNICKERING, YOU ASSHOLES!

"Um.. wellllll.. I _was_ sleeping."

"Yes, I know Roxas. That's what people do when they go to _sleep._"

"W-well... I just.. had a bad dream.. that's all.."

I tilted my head at him and narrowed my eyes in thought. "Wanna tell me what it was about?"

Roxas shrugged and shook his head, pushing away from me and rolling over onto his back.

"Soooo.. what's the plan for today?" I asked, and instantly regretted it. I already knew his plans for the day. Hell, I practically knew his weekly schedule, for Christ's sake.

"I'm going out with Naminé today. Remember?"

"Ah.. right. Yeah.."

"You're coming too, right, Axel? You _promised._"

I honestly didn't want to. I'd rather be stuck in a room full of cockroaches than see those two together. But.. I don't want to leave them alone either. What if they get like, mugged or something? Or raped? Well.. Roxas could probably fight, but I'm having a hard time imagining him doing anything but sending out rays of venom through his eyes. Ow.

"I don't see why. It's _your_ date."

"Just because I'm going out doesn't exactly mean it's a date. C'mon. The three of us. You _are_ coming. I'm not leaving you here alone."

"..Of course I am," I choked out, and forced a smile just to make it look like I wanted to come. Roxas just smiled and curled back up under the blankets.

8:32 AM

I groaned and forced myself out of bed. Stupid work..

Roxas raised his head. "Mm? Where are you going?"

"Work," I said flatly. It's funny how he still doesn't remember that. And how many months has it been?

"Oh.." Roxas said, his bottom lip jutting out.

It was only because I was supposed to be the chauffeur today (from what I'd heard). Oh, yippee for me.

I trudged out of my room and into the bathroom. I saw Roxas leaning against the doorjamb as I squirted Crest onto my toothbrush. Huh. He followed me.

"So I guess Naminé and I have to walk today?"

"Take m'car," I said through a mouthful of toothpaste.

"But how are you gonna get to work?"

"Walk, take a tram. Douse myself in Tinkerbelle magic and believe I can fly."

Roxas grinned and shook his head. "Funny."

I spit out the toothpaste and rinsed my mouth. "Take my car," I said again. "I'll walk. And then I'll meet you at the mall after I'm done with work. It's just a couple of hours anyway."

"I could drive you to work and then take the car.." I heard Roxas say.

"Just take the goddamn car.." I mumbled and splashed water on my face. When I looked up, he wasn't there. I 'hmph'd and grabbed a towel, drying my face.

When I came back into my room, Roxas was sitting on my bed, already dressed in black jeans and a pink (yes, pink) and black striped shirt. It honestly didn't look bad on him.

"You sure you don't want me to drive you? It's pretty col-"

"Look, Roxas," I said, digging around in my closet for my uniform. I seriously just wanted to go back to sleep, and not be hunting around my closet for clothes that probably weren't even there to begin with. I wanted to be back in my warm bed with Roxas snuggled right next to me... But I guess I'll just leave that part to my imagination. "Take the stupid car, _okay?_ It's no. Big. Deal. Comprende?"

"Yes.." Roxas sighed, his shoulders slumping.

I couldn't help but sigh too. I ran a hand through my hair and then pressed the heels of my hands into my eyes. Little yellow dots exploded in my vision.

It was strange the way things were turning out. It seemed that not to long ago I had befriended Roxas. Taken him out. Kissed him.

And now he's going out with _Naminé._

"You alright, Rox?" I asked finally, still keeping my back to him. I could see him perfectly in the mirror.

"Hm? Oh, yeah, I'm good."

If you looked up good in the dictionary right now, you'd see a sulky-faced Roxas. And then by bad, you'd see Sora. Hi would be the new Bye, I Love You would be I Hate You, and so on and so forth.

I sighed and walked over to where he was sitting on my bed, bracing my hands on either side of him and leaning in close to his face. "You know you can tell me, Rox..." I breathed, tilting my head and moving even closer. Just when our lips were about to touch, Roxas whipped his head to the side.

"I can't, Axel.."

"That never stopped you before," I pointed out.

"I _can't_," Roxas replied firmly. He flicked his gaze back at me but kept his head turned away. "Naminé's my girlfriend.. and.. I just can't, Axel."

"Yes, you can," I mumbled, my face falling a bit.

"Seriously, Axel. Will you qui-mmn!"

I don't what possessed me to do so, but I quickly cut him off, kissing him hungrily and pushing him back onto the bed in the process. Roxas yelped into my mouth in surprise and I took that chance to slip my tongue past his lips. I can't even _begin_ to tell you how much I missed his taste. Sweet, sweet, sweet, like mint and vanilla and just... _Roxas._ I pulled away from him before he even got a chance to shove me off and pinned his shoulders to the bed. I pecked him on the lips once more before littering kisses all over his face, his jaw, his neck, those beautiful shoulders...

I just... I _wanted_ him. I wanted him so badly that I couldn't stand it anymore.

"Axel, s-stop!" Roxas cried, trying to push me off. The panic in his voice made me reel back, straight to the opposite end of the room. I watched Roxas scoot back on the bed, trying to catch his breath.

I groaned, raking a hand almost viciously through my hair. "Agh.. fuck, Roxas, I.. Fuck. I'm sorry.."

"Shit, Axel, what the hell is your problem?!" Roxas cried, springing to his feet.

I passed a hand over my face with a deep sigh and let my gaze fall to the floor. "I'm sorry."

"WHY, though, can you fucking answer that?!"

I flinched, bowing my head. I probably confused him, with all my teasing and kissing and now... this.

"I.. I just.."

Roxas's fingers were suddenly curled into the collar of my shirt, pulling me down to his level. He really did look confused. And furious. "Just _**what**_?"

My heart suddenly started beating a mile a minute and I absently wondered if Roxas could hear it, being that close to me. "I can't.. help it, Rox.." I said slowly. For some reason, it was getting hard to speak, with Roxas's face so close to me, those blue eyes dark, dark, dark...

Roxas frowned, eyes narrowing. "Will you just give me a straight answer?!"

I swallowed thickly and forced my gaze up to Roxas's eyes. "Roxas..."

He looked at me expectantly, so I plowed on.

"...I love you."

Immediately, Roxas's hands fell away from my shirt. He looked up at me with wide eyes, mouth slight agape. I blushed and looked away, ashamed with myself. Why would Roxas ever return my feelings...?

"You.. y-you love m--"

_Ding dong._

We both whipped our heads towards the door. The doorbell rang again.

_"Hey! You guys in there?"_

...It was Naminé.

I sighed and ran a shaky hand through my hair. "Fuck, Roxas. Just.. fuck. I'm so sorry." I quickly shook my head and walked past him into the living room.

"There you guys are!" Naminé said brightly, when I opened the door.

"Hey.. Naminé.." I said in a choked voice. I forced a grin. Naminé blinked but didn't question my strange behavior.

"Are you ready, Roxas?" she asked, coming up to him and pressing a small kiss to his lips. I looked away, feeling my heart twisting painfully.

"Yeah. I just need to grab my coat."

Suddenly, Naminé and I were left alone in the living room. Fuck.

"Axel, you're coming with us, right?" she asked, tilting her head at me. Somehow, when she did that, she reminded me of Roxas.

I shook my head and looked at the clock. At this rate, I was going to be late for work. Oh well. "Sorry.. but no. It's gonna be pretty busy at work today. I'll just drive you over to the mall."

"Oh! Well.. then.. we'll stop by, okay?"

I shook my head, almost in a panic. "No, no, it's okay. Really. Just.. just call me when you need me to pick you guys up.."

"Oh.. alright."

**x**.**x**.**x**

I was almost glad to see Roxas and Naminé get out of my car. It was bad enough for me to watch those two together. Aeris would have my hide for being late, but right now, that didn't matter to me. Actually.. not much mattered to me at the moment. I pulled into work, said hello to everyone as I usual, and did everything that I was supposed to do. But there was no life to my movements. I could feel it and so did everyone else because they kept coming up to me and asking what was wrong. I just wanted to get this day over with.

Roxas and Naminé never called, so I didn't go pick them up.

**x**.**x**.**x**

"Bye, Axel!" Rikku called from behind the counter. I waved over my shoulder and went to the door. I had actually stayed pretty late since there was nothing else for me to do. It was almost nine thirty. It was odd. Roxas and Naminé still hadn't called. Maybe they didn't want me to bother them? But if that was the case, then they would've called and told me...

_Oh well, I guess,_ I thought to myself as I started up my car. A few moments later, I gave in and pulled out my cell phone and called Roxas.

...Aaaand it went straight to the voicemail. I sighed and shut my phone. What a hassle. He was probably asleep at home anyway. Or still with Naminé...

When I got home, the apartment was.. pretty empty. And dark. I flicked on the lights and stood there in the doorway. For a second, it almost felt like I went back in time, before Roxas moved in, and after someone moved out. It was quiet and.. lonely.

I didn't need to go through every room just to figure out Roxas wasn't there. I sighed and pulled out my cell phone, dialing Naminé's number.

"..._Hello?_"

"Hey, Nam." I got right to the point. Not like I wanted to know about their day. I had enough depression for one day, thank you very much. "Say, is Roxas with you? I tried calling him but he wouldn't pick up his phone."

"_Oh? Wow.. Roxas isn't here. He went home a few hours ago._"

"Well.. he's not here.. and he's not picking up his phone.. So I thought he was with you."

"_He's.. not.._" Naminé mumbled on the other line, sounding concerned. Now I was starting to panic too. "_Maybe... maybe he just went on a walk to clear his head.._"

"Clear his head? Of what exactly?"

"_Um.. well. We, uh.. we broke up, Axel._"

Broke up? Who the hell breaks up on Valentine's D-whoa there. Hold the phone. Did she just say break up? With Roxas? In the same sentence? I don't have hearing problems, do I?

.. Shit. That meant Roxas was walking around the city broken hearted or something. Aw fuck.

"Okay-thanks-for-the-news-gonna-look-for-Rox-bye!" I blurted. I shoved my cell phone back into my pocket and threw on my coat, running back out the door. That might've been a bit mean, to leave her hanging like that. But I had to go look for Roxas. NOW.

...I just had to figure out where he was.

x.x.x

**OMG I'M ACTUALLY FINISHED HAHAHHAHAHA.**

**I hate school. Actually, not really, but I hate the homework and essays and projects and shit. And I'm not getting enough sleep and.. argh. I'm too lazy to explain myself. And tired. So just review, dammit XD**


	11. 11 : don't make any sudden movements

- -- --- - --- - - -- -- -  
sunshine _in_ a **bag**

CHAPTER 11 : don't make any sudden movements

_"Cool to disappear, but I missed you most days. An army of tattooed angels have brought me back today...  
to lose you is to never love again... Burn baby burn, strung out on a wire, heart in a cage, you're so full  
of desire. You need fast hands to deal with all the liars, bullet-proof skin to keep you alive,  
burn baby burn, strung out on a wire, so don't burn baby burn baby burn..." _

-Institute **'Bullet-Proof Skin'**

.x.Roxas.x.

_"Hey, Roxas? Are you okay?"_

_"Huh? Yeah, I'm fine. Why?"_

_"Nothing.. you just seem to have.. something on your mind."_

_"I do..?"_

_"You have that look on your face. When you're thinking of.. something. You've been doing that a lot lately."_

_Roxas absently wondered how she practically always knew what he was thinking about. __Naminé was like a mind reader. Either that, or she could just read Roxas like an open book. Then again, the blonde hadn't been too careful to keep what he was thinking about inside lately._

_"..as? Roxas? Is everything okay?"_

_**"You know you can tell me, Rox..."**_

_"What? Oh... I... I'm not sure." _

"Well.. you can talk to me about it, you know that right?" She slipped her hand into his and for a moment, he felt a flash of heat against his palm before it disappeared-- 

_"--Well.. You're right. I do have something on my mind. Someone.."_

_**"I'm sorry... I can't.. help it, Rox.."**_

_Roxas shook his head quickly, trying clear his head. _

_Naminé tilted her head and smiled in a way that suggested she knew something he didn't. "See? I knew it."_

_"Knew.. what?"_

_**"...I love you."**_

_Naminé pressed and finger to Roxas's lips and moved closer to him. "Sometimes, when we're together, I wonder why that is so. Because you obviously have someone else in mind." _

"N-nam, I-" 

_"No, no, no. It's okay. I get it." And when she smiled, Roxas almost died on the spot. This wasn't what he was expecting to happen. Not at all. Not this.._

_"I think you should go after something you actually want." Naminé leaned over and kissed Roxas's cheek, squeezing his hand gently._

_"But Naminé-"_

_"It's okay. I understand." _

_**"I love you."**_

**- -- - -- -- -- - - --- - --**

The wind and the cold was biting at my face and worming it's way through my sweatshirt. I shouldn't have left my coat in the car. Then again, at this point, I couldn't quite give a shit.

It was true. Some part of me wanted to be there, anywhere where Axel was. Right by his side. But.. Naminé.. I couldn't lose her too. My heart was fighting both ways and I couldn't make the final decision.

So, yeah. Okay. I admit that I feel that way towards Axel. I do. I really do. And it's because of that that Naminé broke up with me. On Valentine's Day, of all days. And now I didn't have either of them. That's great, isn't it? Yeah. I know. Awesome.

Completely awesome that I now don't have a girlfriend and that I'm sitting here all by myself on a park bench in the freezing cold in the middle of February wearing nothing but a sweatshirt for protection.

I tugged my sleeves over my hands and pulled my knees up to my chest, feeling my body shiver a bit from the cold. I should probably go home, but will I be able to face Axel after what he said to me this morning?

I simply sighed instead of dwelling further on it and tilted my head up at the sky. What if it started snowing..? Would I freeze to death? I wonder what that must feel like. I heard you get really tired until you fall asleep and never wake up again...

...I don't know how long I was sitting there, staring at my lap, until I felt something shake my shoulder. I glanced up, only to meet none other than viridian eyes and crimson hair and I swear to god my heart jumped.

"Axel..."

"Roxas! What the flying _fuck_!" he yelled, making me jump. He took it even a step further and wrapped his arms tight around me, leaving me hanging awkwardly from his embrace, half on the bench. "You don't _do_ that, okay, Roxas?!"

Was it just me... or did he sound a bit panicked?

"I was looking every-fucking-where for you! Roxas, _look at me_."

I bit my tongue and lifted my head from his chest, tilting my gaze up.

Axel.. Axel looked like he was on the brink of being furious from being so... concerned. I could just tell from his eyes. He'd been really worried about me...

He... was worried about me.

I felt my shoulders sag slightly and I quickly looked away. "..I'm sorry."

"Ugh, you're so fucking stupid," Axel grumbled, pulling me into an upright position. He pulled away from me and for a second, I was freezing, because with Axel next to me, it was warm.. so warm..

It took me a second or two to realize that Axel was unzipping his coat and pulling me flush against his chest. I let a heavy breath against his sweatshirt and slid my arms around his waist, practically fitting myself against him.

"I'm just glad you didn't catch hypothermia or something," I heard Axel mutter above me. "Actually, I'm just glad that I found you in one piece in the first place."

I was too tired and too cold to respond, so I only smiled and closed my eyes, tightening my grip.

"You _are_ okay, right?"

I nodded with a small "mm."

I cannot begin to tell you how happy I was to see Axel right then and there. I mean, I thought he was the last thing I wanted to see, but.. I think he's just what I needed. What I need. And all of a sudden, the blow from the breakup didn't seem to be so bad.

When he told me he loved me, I didn't believe him. Couldn't. But now I do. I just know it, from the way he's looking at me and from the way he's holding me. And maybe someone up there likes to play with us, because under normal circumstances, it would never have taken us this long to figure this whole.. thing out. But, you know, maybe in a way, Naminé helped me realize that what Axel felt for me wasn't a joke and what I felt for Axel wasn't just a crush that would soon pass.

Oh, no. It was more than just a crush. Way more.

"C'mon, Rox.. let's go home.." His breath was on my ear, making me shiver even more, but in a different kind of way.

"Y-yeah.. Okay." I was surprised at how shaky my voice was.

When I felt Axel's arms go around my waist to lift me up I pushed away from him. "No.. it's okay. I can walk."

"Are you sure? Because I don't mind carry-"

"Axel? I think you carried me enough for now," I said, smiling up at him. I saw him blink in surprise and then slowly smile back.

"Yeah. Whatever you say, sunshine."

I moved over a bit so that I was against his side and his arm was around my shoulders, and like that, he led me back home without another word.

**x.x.x.x**

"You should go take a hot shower or something, Rox," Axel told me once we were through the apartment door.

I wasn't really all that cold anymore, especially since Axel was right next to me.

"Or at least drink some tea or something--"

"I'm fine.." I interrupted tiredly.

There was a break, a pause, in which only the silence rang around us. Not even the fridge was humming.

"...Good. Because I don't want to let you go." Axel's grip around me tightened, as though he was afraid I would slip through his fingers.

_**"I love you."**_

It's strange how three simple words can have so much impact on a person. But it's not how simple the words are, it's the meaning behind them. All morning and all day I'd been thinking about what Axel said to me in the bedroom. I couldn't focus on anything, I could barely hear what Naminé was saying to me. She was right. I had something on my mind. _Someone._ I had begun to realize that agreeing to go out with Naminé had been a big mistake. This whole mess could've been avoided if I had just admitted my feelings at the start.

I swear, when Axel said that, it tugged at my heartstrings or something, because I pressed closer to him, burying my face into his chest. Truth was that I had loved him all along..

"Axel?" I breathed, fluttering my eyes open.

"Yeah? What is it?" he asked, and I felt his fingers comb through my hair.

"Kiss me."

Axel apparently learned to shoot first, ask questions later. So when he leaned down to kiss me, with no hesitation, I tangled my fingers in his hair, keeping him close, breathing in his scent, tasting him...

I sighed into his mouth as he fingers travled down the sides of my flimsy sweatshirt and up my shirt. He wasn't rough, like I had imagined he would be, but his kisses and touches were just as head-reeling. Naminé had never affected me like this before. I'm not sure if anyone did.

Even when he pushed me down into the bed, I didn't even think about protesting. In fact, I urged him on, arching up against his body and feeling the heat rush everywhere at once.

"I love you, Roxas.."

"I-mmmn..."

-­­-- - -- - - - ----- - -- - -

**It's been a while. I know. It seems like everyone is getting writer blocks this month. Anyway. I'm way too damn lazy/tired to say much else at 1:45 in the morning so I just hope you enjoyed this chapter. The story is steadily coming to and end. But it's not over just yet. So don't forget to review. **

...And yes. They did have sex. Yaaaaay. 


	12. 12 : i want you to be mine

**Wowzers. It's FINALLY UP. ((throws confetti))**

**I had this reaaaally long excuse about being tired and too much shit happening, but I forgot it, so I'll just leave it here. Thanks to all of you who reviewed ((heart)) It inspired me to get my ass into gear and finish up this chapter.**

**Speaking of this chapter, it was beta'd by the awsume ****Katraa****, so hopefully, my writing won't embarrass me to death. **

**READ ON, READERS, READ ON. **

**(btw, for those who don't want smut in the next five seconds, please skip the italics)**

- -- ---- - - ---- - - --  
sunshine_ in_ a **bag**

CHAPTER 12 : i want you to be mine

_Roxas panted heavily, head tilted back as Axel's tongue slid hotly up his throat. Axel's coat was on the ground along with their shirts. Their jeans were hastily unbuttoned, hips rocking together. Roxas shuddered as Axel pushed harder against him and tried to pull the redhead closer, desperate for more friction._

_"Nnh.. Ax, __**please**__," Roxas moaned, arching up and fisting his hands into the sheets below. Axel grinned against the boy's neck, his hands sliding up Roxas's chest. The kid was so responsive and it was so damn __**cute**_

_"Please what?" _

_"A-axel.. just.. mmnh.." Roxas shivered, trailing off. Axel lapped at Roxas's neck again, sucking on a sensitive spot right below his ear. His hands trailed down Roxas's chest, stomach, one massaging his waist and the other sliding beneath his boxers. Roxas gasped suddenly__ hips bucking sharply into Axel's hand. He was starting to feel sweat sliding down his skin._

_"Just what..?" Axel breathed huskily into Roxas's ear and stroked his length slowly, making the blonde's head spin._

"F-fu.. nngh.. Ax_**eeeeel**__..!" Roxas moaned, squirming away and looking up at said redhead with large pleading eyes._

_Axel chuckled softly and leaned down, pressing his lips against Roxas's. His tongue darted into the other's mouth, sliding against Roxas's while his free hand began insistently tugging at the boy's jeans. Roxas groaned and reached down, pulling at Axel's belt._

_Once the last bits of clothing were flung to the floor, Axel reached down under the bed and produced a small bottle of lube._

_Roxas gave Axel a strained smile as the older finally pushed inside of him. The fingers had been one thing but this was entirely different... Axel smiled in return, stroking the boy's hair. About a moment later Roxas let out a shaky breath and reached up, tracing a violet diamond tattoo with his thumb. _

_"I'm.. okay.." Roxas breathed, swallowing thickly. His heart was pounding a mile a minute in his chest and he was nervous as all hell._

_Axel took Roxas's hand and gripped it tightly. "Relax a bit, okay?"_

_"I-I know, stupid.. it's.. not.. my first time.."_

"Oh really?" Axel purred, smirking. He rolled his hips forward, happy with the way Roxas gasped, arching his back. 

_"Ohmygod, Axel, movemovemovemove, please..!"_

_Roxas's begging managed to turn Axel on even more if possible. __**His. Roxas was going to be his.**_

_Axel slid his arms around Roxas's shoulders, pulling him close and slowly started to move inside him. God, he wanted this for so long, __**to take Roxas, make him his, **__**love**__** him.**__ And Roxas was letting him. With each moan and tug in his hair, Axel's passion increased._

"Roxas.. I love you.."

- - ---- -- - - ----- - - -- -

_"Cause our lips can touch.. and our cheeks can brush.. our lips can touch.. here..  
Well you are the one, the one that lies close to me, whispers 'hello, I missed  
you quite terribly.' I fell in love, in love with you so suddenly... now there's  
no place I could be but here in your arms..."  
_

-Hellogoodbye **'Here In Your Arms'**

.x.Axel.x.

I had woken up early that morning, much earlier than I had expected. I stared at the ceiling for a few minutes, still in a slight daze, wondering if everything that happened lasting night was a dream. Almost doubting the warm weight on my chest, I allowed myself to glance down...

...And there was Roxas. Sound asleep on top of me.

I nearly breathed out a sigh of relief as I smiled and stroked his hair. It was slightly damp and I could feel the chain that I had given him for Christmas resting at the base of his neck.

So everything that happened last night wasn't a dream, huh? Goddamn, it better have not been, or when I die of heartbreak, someone's going to pay up there. Down there. Whatever.

I stayed like that for close to an hour before Roxas began to stir. I looked down at him with a grin, ruffling his hair lightly.

"Hey, kid, you sleep well?"

There was a pause and I almost freaked out, thinking that Roxas must've.. realized what had happened or something. "...My ass hurts," he mumbled finally, turning his head the other way and closing his eyes.

I chuckled and smoothed my hands down his back. My own back was covered in bruises and scratches and marks, courtesy of Roxas.

"...But it was worth it," he finished, and I felt my grin grow even more. I slid my arms around him, pulling him even closer. It was like some weight had lifted off my shoulders. Some sort of doubt. When I called him sunshine, I wasn't joking. The name just.. stuck. But he is. He's my sun. I can honestly say I'm happier then I have been in a while. All because of him. He's really sweet deep down.

"...Hey, Rox?"

"What?"

"I'm.. not trying to catch you on the rebound, just know that, first of all. And second of all, will you be my boyfriend?"

Roxas lifted his head to meet my eyes and I cocked an eyebrow at him, smirking slightly. He looked like he was thinking it over. And after a moment, he nodded slowly and answered with a quiet 'yes.'

I practically laughed in relief, tightening my grip around him and rocking him side to side. Roxas chuckled also, burying his face into the crook of my shoulder.

"Heh, hey Axel? Remember yesterday.. how you told me you loved me?"

"..Yeah..?"

"Was it true?"

I blinked down at Roxas's spikes in confusion, arching an eyebrow. "Of course it was. It still is." I sighed softly and kissed the top of his head before continuing, in case he needed more proof. "I love you, Roxas, I really do. You make me happy, y'know? I mean.. I was happy before.. but it's a different sort of thing. Like.. all I need to make it through anything is you. So yeah. It's true. Got it memorized?"

After a moment of silence, I reached up and place a hand on his cheek. It was warm.

"Are you speechless, Rox?"

"..."

"...Roxas?"

"Axel?"

"Um... Yeah?"

Roxas shifted in my arms, lifting himself up until his face was level with mine. His cheeks were flushed a soft pink, and his eyes were shining.. those blueblueblue eyes.. I could tell that I was staring at him with adoration.

"I can feel it, Ax," he muttered softly, placing a hand against his own chest. "I _know_ it... I love you, too. I think I... have for a while."

He gave me a crooked, sheepish smile and I laughed in return, pulling him back down against me. "Someone up there must hate us or something for it to take so long, y'know?"

"Heh. Maybe not too much though."

"Of course not. If they did, would you be in my arms right now?"

"Heh.. I guess not."

"That's what I thought, love," I purred, leaning down and pressing a welcomed kiss to Roxas's lips.

But, y'know, I still wondered why. Why Naminé would give up someone like Roxas... I mean, who in their right mind would, y'know what I mean? And I had a sudden urge to find out. It was like a nagging in my brain.

"Hey, Roxy?" I mumbled pulling away from him a little bit. He did this adorable little thing where he tried to lean back into another kiss but fell short. I laughed and ruffled his hair. "Listen, Foxy-Roxy. I gotta go to a friend's for a bit. Just a couple hours, okay?"

"What for?"

"Don't be nosey."

Roxas huffed in annoyance and blew his bangs away from his face. "Alright then. And I take it that I can't come? ..Right. I'll go to Kairi's then."

"Come? I can make you come, baby," I purred teasingly, sliding my hand down his stomach.

In the span of the next three minutes, my face had befriended Roxas's pillow.

---- - - - - - - ---

"Rox! I'm going now!" I shouted, knocking on the bathroom door. I heard the sound of the water stopping and the curtain being pulled back. I sighed and stepped back crossing my arms. Roxas stepped out a few minutes later, clutching a large towel around himself. It was now that I was strangely reminded of the first time I saw Roxas come out of the shower. Only this time he was tame, and sweet and lovable.. and not about to throw me against the nearest wall and strangle the life out of me.

"What, Ax?" he asked, pushing his wet hair away from his eyes. "You going now?"

"I.. yeah."

"..What're you staring for?"

I quirked a small smirk, wrapping my arms around him and pulling him close. I could smell the scent vanilla wafting from his hair from this close.

"You've changed a lot, Roxy."

"I guess I have.. huh.." he mumbled, burying his face into my chest. I nearly melted.

"..Roxas, remember the first time I kissed you? And you ran off to Kairi's?"

"...Yeah...? What about it?"

"Well.. next day I ran into Sora at the mall. He asked me if I did anything to upset you..." I trailed off and sighed, smoothing my hands along his back. "He told me that you had trouble warming up to people after some sort of.. incident? I've always been meaning to ask."

I felt Roxas stiffen a tiny bit in my arms. "You want to know _now_?"

"Well.. unless you don't wanna tell me..."

I glanced down at him, seeing his fingers curl into my shirt. "No. I'll tell you."

I kissed his forehead and pulled him towards the couch, tugging him into my lap. It took a moment of silence and a little bit of poking for him to finally get on with it.

"...Okay.. so.. before I moved into here I used to live with my other boyfriend. His... His name was Marluxia. Were going out for two months then. When we first started dating, he was so nice to me, just like you are. But.. but then he started getting a little.. abusive. And I don't take bullshit like that from people so I fought back. We were fighting a lot before the end of our relationship. That's when I moved away from him and with my brother. So then Sora tried to hook me up with some of his other friends but I was still hurt and angry so I moved away from him too."

"To here?"

"To here. I'm sorry I was such a bitch to you at first, Axel, I just..."

I placed a finger against his lips, silencing him. "It's okay, Roxas. I get it. I know. And just so _you_ know, I will never become like that. I would never be able to forgive myself for hurting you."

Roxas looked up at me slowly, blue eyes wide and swimming with emotion. "Promise?"

"Cross my heart, hope to die, stick a needle in my eye."

Roxas laughed brightly and kissed me.

- ---- - -- - -- - - - ---

"A-axel? What're you doing here?" Naminé asked me after opening the door.

"Visiting. You don't mind do you?" I said, casually flicking what was left of my cigarette into the snow (Shh, don't tell Roxas. I've been craving a smoke).

"Uh, no, no, of course not." Naminé stepped back, allowing me to come in. I remember the last time I was in here it was crowded to hell and back. Now it was just.. empty. And white. Really white. "Are you hungry, Axel? I was making brownies..."

I smiled at her and shook my head, and she seemed to relax a little bit.

"Roxas told you what happened, huh? That's why you're here."

I nodded and brushed past her into the spotless living room, dropping myself down on the couch. Naminé seemed to hesitate before following me and sitting down beside me.

"I was just.. wondering why you did it. Why you gave him up like that."

Naminé blinked in surprise and then giggled. "Well, it's obvious, isn't it? He liked me, but he would never love me. Not the way he loves you, Axel."

I chuckled and leaned back, draping my arms over the back of the couch. "You're funny, Nam. Most girls wouldn't give up a guy like that. Not without a fight at least."

"I'd be fighting for a lost cause."

"...Touché."

Naminé smiled and then cast her eyes to the hem of her dress. "This.. this whole going out thing with Roxas.. It was actually my plan to help you get together."

I'm pretty sure that the look I gave Naminé was a very good impression of deer-in-headlights. Run that by me one more time?

"...What?"

"Well, see, I know a lot about Roxas from Kairi.. since they're best friends and everything. And after _I_ met him, she started calling me and telling me that she had a feeling that he liked you. And to be honest, he was taking.. a damn long time _fighting_ with himself. And it was becoming painfully obvious how much he liked you and everything. So I figured that if he started going out with someone, he'd realize how much he misses you, or you'll be pushed to tell him _your _feelings. Which is exactly what happened. You see how it works?"

I sat there for a moment in shocked silence, barely able to breathe. "Wait.." I finally muttered, leaning forward. "So.. this entire thing was _your_ idea? To help _us_?"

Naminé smiled sweetly and nodded. "Otherwise it might've taken forever for Roxas to finally get over himself. No offense to him."

I stared at Naminé for a moment more, mouth agape, before practically launching myself at her and gathering her into a hug. Naminé only laughed and patted my back.

"You're welcome."

I pulled away, grinning from ear to ear. "You're an angel, I swear to god."

"Not really," Naminé said with a smile. I scoffed and rolled my eyes.

"Well, now that you I have this whole thing straightened out, y'wanna go to Kairi's?"

"Kairi's? Why?"

"...Roxas went there."

"Should've guessed."

- - -- --- - - - -- - --  
.x.Roxas.x.

"See, I knew you slept with him. You can't keep anything from your best friend!"

I groaned and sunk down as far as the couch would take me, embarrassed beyond belief. Kairi grinned triumphantly from beside me while Riku and Sora snickered to themselves.

"Thanks, Kairi. I think I'm gonna go live under a rock now," I deadpanned, starting to get up.

"Awww, c'mon!" Kairi whined, grabbing my arm and jerking me back down. "We all knew it was gonna happen at some point or another."

I blinked widely and sat up a bit. "You did?"

"Rox, even _we_ knew it, and we barely see you on a daily basis," Sora spoke up, nodding to Riku.

"So.. like.. you guys aren't pissed at me or anything for having sex with Axel after Naminé broke up with me?"

"Like I said, Rox, we knew it was going to happen. And it's about time too."

I blushed even harder and grabbed the nearest cushion, pressing it to my face. I heard Kairi laugh beside me and felt her ruffle my hair.

"Besides," she said, her voice near my ear. I blinked and lifted my head the slightest bit. "Even a blind person could tell how much you two love each other from a mile away."

"About time you stopped beating around the bush." ...From the few times I'd heard Riku speak to me, I would have to agree with him. I guess I've just been stupid this whole time. Axel was in front of me all along. Honestly. Why does my brain insist on being so goddamn stu--

...And there goes the doorbell, interrupting me again.

"I'll get it!" My brother jumped up from his place on the loveseat and bounded out the hallway. I glanced at Kairi and she smiled at me, so I smiled back.

"Oh wow. Are you having a party, Kai?"

I whipped my head up quickly, clutching the cushion close to my chest.

..Axel..

"Sorry, Ax, you just missed it. Hey, Naminé."

As Kairi, Riku and Sora went to greet Naminé, Axel quietly crept away and sat down next to me, wrapping his arm around my shoulders.

"Hey, Foxy-Roxy. You missed me?"

I chuckled and nodded. "I suppose so."

"You _suppose_? Gee, thanks."

I couldn't help but smile when Axel leaned down to kiss me. A second later I froze and pulled away, realizing that everyone else was watching us. I blushed in surprise and embarrassment, ducking my head against Axel's chest, whom only laughed and ran his fingers through my hair.

Naminé. She was watching us too, with a smile on her face. I stared back for a moment before slowly mouthing out the words "thank you." She came over to us, with that sweet smile and leaned down, kissing my cheek.

"You're welcome, Roxas. You're welcome.

- -- -- - - - -- - --- -

**Mmmmm yum. Just one more chapter left. Review you guys! Make me happy :)**


	13. 13 : in other news

**HOLY SHIT FFNET KILLED ALL MY BREAKS.**

­ - -- - -- - - - -- -  
sunshine_ in _a **bag**

CHAPTER 13 : in other news

_"So hold me when I'm here, right me when I'm wrong, hold me when I'm scared, and love me when  
I'm gone, everything I am, and everything in me, wants to be the one you wanted me to be, I'll never  
let you down, and even if I could, I'd give up everything if only for your good."_

-3 Doors Down **'When I'm Gone'**

.x.Roxas.x.

It's been almost two years and I still find myself looking back two years before now, still wondering how the crazy redhead had managed to squirm his way into my life. Not that I regret it or anything, no, not at all.

But _me_. He chose _me_ out of anyone else and stuck with me when all I did at the beginning was pretty much bitch and whine. But it still was me and every time I think about it, I swear that my heart flutters. I'm a sap, I know.

Anyway, we had abandoned our apartment in favor of a one-bedroom apartment. It was cheaper but surprisingly more spacious. Not only that, but it was closer to college, too. I went in for music and Axel for mechanics, plus the extra odd classes.

I've also mellowed out a lot more through all this time, and I know my depression had lifted too. I'm not even quite sure what triggered it in the first place. Was it that I wasn't getting enough attention before? Not like I remember. But when it lifted, so did all my negative thoughts about myself and my parents.. and my brother. I've got Axel to thank for that. He sorted out my papers, read my heart and mind and put my spine back together.

x.x.x

I stretched out for a moment on the couch, accidentally kicking Sora in that spiky head of his. I rolled my eyes when I heard him whine and curled up back around my pillow, burying my face into it. It smelled like Axel.. apple and spice..

Today was actually Axel's birthday, but we he was at work and we were all waiting for him to come home. Sora, Riku, Kairi, Yuffie, Rikku, Naminé, and even Demyx with his most recent boyfriend, Zexion, were here. I would've allowed more people to come, but, y'know, there's only so many people you can fit into an apartment of this size. I probably shouldn't have invited them over so early either... we all ended up crashing in the living room for a nap.

I let out a sigh and tried to roll over. I blinked and frowned when I realized that I hadn't moved. Was.. someone sitting on my legs..?

"...Ah! _SHIT_, KAIRI! What the hell are you doing?!" I screeched, grabbing onto the armrest and trying to heave myself away. Ohjesusgodshewas-

"Writing 'Axel's Bitchslave' on your ass with marker," came the smug reply.

I glared at her over my shoulder and whined (quite pathetically), trying to shake her off, but to no avail. She merely grinned and waggled her perfectly manicured fingers at me.

"Aw, christ, c'mon, Kai! I can see _Zexion_ doing something like that, not you!"

I sent another glare at Zexion but he only gave me a sleepy smirk in return.

"Jeez, Rox, you act as though I've never seen you naked before."

"...Ew, Kairi."

"Shut up, Riku. He lost a bet."

"Skinny-dipping?"

"Yup."

"Please don't ever bring that up ever again," I groaned, raking a hand viciously through my hair. Oh, god, the memories.

Kairi giggled from somewhere behind me and I jostled her off, making her fall on top of Rikku and Yuffie. I nestled back into my corner of the couch and lay there silently for a moment. ...Until the cushion under me _vibrated._

...Whoathere.

I bolted upright and frantically groped for my cell phone, yanking it out with a triumphant "Hah!" when my fingers brushed against it.

"Hello?" I asked, flipping it open without bothering to look. I already knew who it was.

"Hey, sunshine, I'll be home soon."

I grinned, unable to squash the butterflies swelling in my stomach. "Awesome, can't wait."

"Heh, okay. See you in a bit, babycakes."

...Ugh. I could practically hear him grinning his ass off.

"What'd I say about nicknames?"

"I don't know. What was it, Roxy-baby?"

"_Axeeeel_!"

Axel chuckled on the other line and said, "Later sunshine," and hung up. I blushed and smiled to myself, only slightly aware that everyone else was watching me with grins on their faces.

"What'd he call you this time?" Demyx asked with a chuckle.

"Ummmm.. today it was babycakes and Roxybaby.. and the usual. But either way, he's coming."

"...That's what he said."

"...Shut up, Zex."

Just for that, I shoved Zexion under the coffee table when we all ran to hide. He grumbled and protested, but hey, if he could fit under there then I couldn't give a damn. I waved everyone else off silently to their hiding places and went to stand by the door.

When I heard shuffling outside of the door, I knew it was him. I opened the door (probably grinning my ass off) and jumped at him, quickly covering his eyes with my hand. Axel grinned also and slipped an arm around my waist.

"What, is it a surprise? Kinky."

"Not that kind of surprise," I grumbled, kicking Axel's shin lightly. He chuckled at me and his grin softened into a smile.

"Alright, then. Lead me."

I smiled back even if Axel couldn't see it. I kept one hand on his eyes and wrapped my free hand around his, pulling him inside.

I loved him more than anything, I swear.

I pulled my hand away once we were both inside and everyone was thankfully on cue (even Zex), jumping out and screaming "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!"

Axel blinked in pure surprise, arm falling limp around my waist.

"You can at least say something instead of _standing_ there, mouth _agape_," Naminé huffed, crossing her arms.

Axel smirked, shaken out of his reverie, and punched her shoulder lightly, pulling me closer again with his other arm.

"Jesus.. I love you guys. Even you, one-eye."

Zexion glared in annoyance and gave Axel the finger, and everyone's tension faded away. I smiled to myself and tuned out for a bit, holding onto Axel as everyone around me buzzed to pull out presents and the lopsided cake we all helped make.

"So, let's celebrate to you being one year closer to being legal," Riku said, pulling forward a bottle shaped package with a gleeful look on his face. I arched my brows and shuffled a little farther away, slightly creeped out.

"Oh, you _guys_, corrupting my no drinking streak."

"What streak?" I deadpanned, and Axel nudged me with his elbow. I only smiled at the jab and nuzzled my nose into Axel's side as Riku popped the cork to the champagne bottle.

x.x.x

"I never... wanna see food... or cake... ever again..." Sora groaned, slumping down on top of Riku, who moaned out in protest and unsuccessfully tried to push him off. I chuckled at the two and moved closer to Axel, who was sprawled over almost the entire length of the couch.

"Hey.. you.. you're not drunk are you?" I asked with a giggle. ...Oh jesus. I think I just giggled.

Axel waved his hand dismissively, grinning from ear to ear. "Not enough..." He stretched an arm out, pulling the bag of gifts closer to himself, and picked up a small, square package, slowly peeling the white wrapping off.

"That one's from me and Zex," Demyx called from his spot on the floor, watching as Axel pulled out an apple green iPod.

"Good, cos you _broke_ my other one," Axel said, throwing Demyx a grin.

"Hey! Shut up! Not _my_ fault it ended up in the washing machine. Besides, Zexion put all of your other songs on it."

"Aww, that's so sweet, one-eye," Axel cooed. I snorted at the tone of his voice, but Zexion didn't seem all too pleased with the nickname.

I think I must've spaced out again after that for a bit.. or longer.. because Axel was suddenly shaking my shoulder, repeating "Earth to Roxy" in my ear. I blinked and sat up abruptly, realizing that way more than a few minutes had passed and that all of the presents had been opened.

"Hey, kid, you okay?" Axel whispered in my ear. I nodded and blushed, catching everyone staring at me curiously.

...I was _happy._

x.x.x

We finally kicked everyone out well into the night. Now I was spacing because I was seriously tired.

Axel sighed and leaned against the door and I let him pull me into his arms, chest to chest.

"Had fun?" I mumbled, letting my eyes fall shut.

"Definitely. The part where Rikku got cake in her bra was especially amusing."

I laughed softly, not being able to help myself despite how exhausted I was. I heard Axel let out a deep breath above me and felt him bury his nose into my hair.

"Thanks, Roxy."

I tilted my head up and kissed his jaw with a smile. "Don't thank me yet. I still have to give you my present."

"Mmm.. I was wondering about that. Me? You? Bed? Awesome birthday sex?"

I opened my eyes and frowned, punching him playfully in the stomach. "...Other than that." I grabbed his hand and pulled him to our room before he could make any other perverted remarks.

"Eager, aren't we?" Axel purred, grabbing me around the waist and throwing me on top of the bed.

"H-hey, you sex freak! Get off!" I shrieked, pushing at his chest. At this rate, I wouldn't even get _close_ to giving him the damn box.

"Sex freak, or _sexy_ freak?" Axel asked, growling teasingly into my neck. I bit my tongue, refusing to answer, but was unable to hold back a small moan when I felt his fingertips slide beneathe and around the edges of my jeans. I sighed shakily and gave in, letting Axel do as he pleased for a while.

"So... what present were you talking about?" Axel asked me once he had my shirt off and my jeans unbuttoned. He was kissing along my chest, nothing rough.. just tender touches.

I smiled down at him and gently pushed his head away, sitting up. I grabbed the small black box sitting on the nightstand by my own black and white iPod, and hid it in my hand.

Axel blinked curiously at me and crawled around me, trying to grab it. "What is it?"

"I surprise," I sang, scooting farther away from him. Axel pouted at me and shoved my shoulder.

"Aw.. c'mon, Rox. I love you?"

I chuckled and grabbed his hand, pulling him closer to me. "I love you, too, Ax.. So much."

He smiled at me and I swear to you, my heart floated.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. "And.. I'll always love you." My words were suddenly scrambling, coming together, and I had to slow down just to calm myself. "I don't.. I don't know what'll happen tomorrow.. or next month, or next year.. But I know I'll always love you. Forever."

I kissed his hand, smiling at his shocked expression, and slipped the box into his fingers.

"Don't give me that deer-in-the-headlights look, just open it."

Axel traced his finger over it for a long moment before finally flicking it open. I grinned, seeing his eyes widen even more because I knew he was looking at two, identical silver bands with one tiny flame cut into each.

"I'll always love you," I said again, much softer this time, and placed my hand on top of his, waiting for an answer..

Axel flicked his eyes up, staring deeply into mine with greengreen orbs.. and I nearly lost my breath.

"...You are so amazing that I can't even think of a reason for why I'd want to leave you."

I blushed and looked away shyly, the deep, heartfelt gaze making my head spin.

Axel pressed his warm lips against mine, and I easily melted against him, arms going around his neck. **I knew we were going to be okay.** I pulled away from him, flushed and breathless, and Axel slipped one of the rings onto my finger. I smiled softly and took the last ring, sliding it onto Axel's finger. It seemed to practically glitter there...

"God, I love you so much, Rox," Axel breathed, pulling me close against his chest.

"Mm.. I know.."

"Hell, you better, after all this time."

Axel shifted me in his arms and slowly leaned back into the bed, the downy blankets wrapping around us in the air conditioned room. I yawned, too tired to do much other than just lay there for practically forever, right in Axel's arms.

"Goodnight.. sunshine.." Axel whispered sweetly in my ear.

I nodded, fluttering my eyes open for a moment. Through the curtains, beyond the outline of the city, I could see the sun begin to rise, filtering gently into our room.

The sun. I was his _sun_.

I closed my eyes once more and burrowed my face against Axel's warm chest, letting the sound of his heartbeat put me to sleep.

And he was the burning flame that would always keep me going.

x.x.x

**.f**_i_**n.**

x.x.x

**And... it's over. **

**...Wow. **

**I don't really know what to say now.**

**...Well... I'm sad to see it go... It's funny how it started out as a pointless, plotless, little story and attracted so many people and their feelings. I'm so, so glad you all love this story. I think that was my goal. Not to bowl you over with too much drama, too many places, too many people. But to give you that warm fuzzy feeling you get when it's winter and you're on the couch wrapped up in a blanket, drinking some hot chocolate... or with a signifigant other... :3**

**This was dedicated to you all, especially my Axel, Lorien, for sticking with me for.. almost two years now, despite the fact that we live on opposite sides of the country. **

**Sunshine in a bag is over, but I promise you that there will be so much more.**

**I hope you all loved this chapter (and this story) as much as I did. **

**Thank you, I love you all. **

**.x.shugotenshii.x.**

**ps. and now FANFICTION NET IS PISSING ME OFF BECAUSE IT KILLED ALL MY BREAKS HOLY SHIT. **


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